Baby's All Grown Up

Baby’s All Grown Up

I remember the first time I found out I was pregnant with you. My firstborn. I prayed for you for twelve years. I prayed for a blonde-haired, blue-eyed baby. I remember you growing in my tummy. Watching you move gracefully, and gently in my tummy. Watching my belly ripple as you turned over.

I knew you were special. An old soul. Most newborn babies cry and want their next meal. Not you. You were quiet and looked at people’s faces and the lights on the wall. You even turned your head at the sound of my voice. You were different. I feel like you had been around for so long, but you were just born. The anticipation of you being birthed into this world and now you were here.

I miss those days when you were little and I held you in my arms, with your soft peach fuzz hair and smelling your baby’s breath in my face. Your cheeks were so red and chapped from being kissed so many times. I couldn’t resist those soft, chubby, little cheeks. I loved watching you explore your little world. I loved watching you peacefully sleep without a care in the world. I loved making you laugh and playing games with you. You’ve brought me so much joy and contentment. I’m a better person having you in my life. Where before I only thought of myself, I now think of others’ needs before my own.

It was fun watching you experience the world, watching Elmo, Hello Kitty and, other kid’s shows. I took tons of pictures of you. A lot of them were candids, but beautiful and sweet, just like you. Even at a young age, you amazed me with your emotional intelligence, wisdom, kindness, and your great sense of humor. I took you to different restaurants to try different cuisines and things. I took you to festivals to open your eyes to other cultures from around the world.

I told you I would always be there for you no matter how old you are. I told you that you’d always be my baby even when you have babies of your own. I wanted to provide for you the kind of life I never had as a kid.

Then…. The divorce…

Our family became ripped apart, because I couldn’t take it anymore with your dad. He was not marriage material nor even family material. I knew things would never be the same and going back and forth between both houses has been difficult. At least you have your sister to keep you company. I’m so glad you both get along so well. I’m very grateful for that. You have no idea how very blessed you are.

I watched you grow into your own person. You’re so independent. You’re so disciplined. You took Honors and AP classes and received a 4.0+ GPA. I’m so proud of you. I know you don’t sleep well at night. You worry a lot. In a way, you’re a lot like me. In other ways, you’re a lot like your dad. As you’ve gotten older you’ve gotten more serious. You don’t laugh as much because you have a lot on your mind. I think you’re stressed and you’re much too young to be stressed.

I can’t believe you’ve graduated High School and will be going to college. How is it that eighteen years have gone by already? It seemed like yesterday that I held you in my arms.

Moms! When I say enjoy and cherish every moment you have with your children, I mean it. It goes by so fast. Take pictures as much as you can every day. Tell them you love them. My baby’s all grown up. Tempis Fugit. Oh! How time flies.