Confessions logo

We All Deserve Better

What Happened When I Let Myself Get Sucked In By A Narcissist.

By Denise WillisPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
Like
We All Deserve Better
Photo by Elijah Hiett on Unsplash

Why I did it I don't know. I graduated number one in accounting in the state of Colorado, and then went on to earn my Masters degree in psychology, earning all A's. That wasn't good enough, apparently. I still had no self-confidence, and no self-worth. So, I let a younger man sweet talk me into moving in with him. I guess I was desperate for someone to love me, because in spite of all the red flags that week I went to visit him, I still let myself believe his constant stream of lies.

The first red flag was when I got out of my car, and he stood there without so much as giving me a hug, let alone a kiss. He was quiet, but took to my dog immediately. I was almost jealous! When we came upstairs and into his condo, I was the one who sliced the fruit and put it on a plate, and sliced the cheese, and got the crackers arranged. Me, who had just spent the best part of the day on the road with a dog, stood there and dutifully did this, while he talked about his favorite subject, himself. He then proceeded to take several pictures of the dog, while gushing on about how cute she was, but he didn't take one picture of me. I checked my face in the bathroom mirror, and I didn't see anything terribly wrong. I'd already reminded him of our age difference before I came to visit, so that shouldn't have been a shock. Maybe he didn't fully understand what aging meant.

He hadn't taken any time off work for the week I was there, but every night he held me in bed, made love to me, and then continued to hold me through the night. He told me every day how beautiful I was, but he never introduced me to his friends, or took me inside when I dropped him off at work. We never went out in public together to have a drink, and he'd told me about the great Mexican restaurant he wanted to take me to, but somehow that never materialized either. We did manage to get take-out from there one night, however.

He talked about himself non-stop, and it was always the same scenario, how he knew more than everyone else, how he was irreplaceable at work, how he could just threaten to knock somebody out and they would take off out of fear. He was always the top dog, and don't try to get a word in edgewise, nope, that wouldn't happen, because you would be interrupted, you would be talked over, and mostly, whatever you had to say would be ignored, because your opinion wouldn't matter.

It was a two bedroom condo, but one bedroom held all his guitars, eleven of them to be exact, and a set of drums, several amplifiers, and a keyboard. I really felt for the people who live below him, but I didn't say anything because he didn't take it well when someone pointed something out to him that made him look stupid, or like the inconsiderate guy.

The day I was supposed to go home, we were on the bed, talking, and he kept giving me mixed signals, telling me not to forget to stop on the way home and get some coke and lime for my stomach because I had butterflies, and then telling me he wished I didn't have to go home. He seemed to be pulled two different ways, and I didn't want to leave, but I was exhausted from doing dishes, cooking, laundry, and cleaning the pit of a house he lived in. I left a few hours later, and he lingered over my dog longer than he lingered over me, but that was no surprise. Looking back on it, if it hadn't been for that dog that he fell in love with, I don't think he would have ever asked me to move in with him.

Dating
Like

About the Creator

Denise Willis

I love art as much as writing, and when the world feels dark, I get out my paper and colored pencils and draw while listening to music. When my husband and I were going through a divorce, journaling is what got me through that..

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.