Things I Learned about being 27

Marriage, kids, career, and life in general: it's okay to not master the universe.

I think the hardest thing about being 27 is not punching people in the face when they remind me how close to 30 I am. And how far from marriage I appear to be.

I understand how time works, Karen. I wonder if you do by the amount of botox you've invested in your face?

I have one aunt that loves to corner me and tell me about how her daughter who's only about five years older than me is married with a baby and how she's trying to get pregnant again. She never brings up the fact that her daughter never had to pay for rent because she moved into an apartment my family owns, she never had to pay for school because her grandfather paid for everything. Even when she switched majors five times, dropped out twice, went to three different trade schools, and when she finally got a hairdressing license, she got married and decided to become a stay at home mom and "social media influencer" all before she even got pregnant.

Moving on.

I thought by this age I'd have a career, a place of my own, and maybe I'd be married with a kid on the way. A lot of expectations have not been met in my life, and it's not something I'm proud of but I'm not ashamed of it either.

Marriage

There comes a point in your life where you have to ask yourself - "Do I want to get married or do I just want to go to a party and wear a fabulous outfit?"

I have been in several relationships where there was potential to get married, but when the moment came and I asked myself the above question; I did not want to get married. I just want to look great in a dress. Plus I have this habit of envisioning my life if I follow a certain path and being trapped in a marriage that I'm not 100% into is not possible for me.

A lot of people have opinions on me not being a wife at this age, I'm actually the only woman in my family to not be married by 25. They don't know that I've been proposed to three separate times, because I know they will freak out about me rejecting three separate men.

I'm already being tagged in my family as the 'forever single one' and yes that is something they have told me directly to my face. Along with the discontented sigh and the disapproving stares.

I mean, I have no problem coming home and pouring myself a glass of wine and giving myself a little spa night. I don't have to argue with a spouse about what to watch or how much to save or where to go for a vacation.

I did think I'd at least be engaged by now, but having three separate men propose to me without being pregnant first is still a nice accomplishment for me.

Living Alone

I thought I'd have my own studio or maybe a condo by now. Maybe I'd have a roommate, or be living with a spouse or significant other.

I did not account for the below-minimum wage job I had for a decade and for college to continuously rip every penny I earned out of my bank account.

I still live with my mother, which isn't as taboo as it was 15 years ago. I live in San Diego and trying to get an apartment would put me in debt and I wouldn't be able to afford groceries or gas to go anywhere other than work.

All I want is a little apartment with a kitchen and a living room and one bedroom. I want to paint the walls the grey-blue of the rooftops of Parisian buildings. I want cheap dishes to break when I'm upset. I want a wall of books and to hang my paintings up. I want to make lavender whipped cream and have it with vanilla ice cream while listening to the Struts in lace and silk pajamas.

But the lowest apartment in a non creepy building with non sleezy landlords I found was $1200 a month without utilities and no laundry room.

My family does own several apartments but they are rather nice and won't drop the prices for me to afford to rent them.

Being the outcast of a well-to-do family has a lot of cons.

Career

I started out as a Journalism major in College, I had worked on myy high school newspaper and I made Editor within my second semester. I studied all kinds of creative writing and excelled in almost every class. Working at the paper in College was a lot of hard work. I'd get to school at 7 am an if I wasn't in another class, I was at the Paper editing or writing or helping clean up photos with photographers. I did news broadcasts for the radio and even interned at the filming station for a few days.

I was good, top of my class, and I had a plan for my future.

Which after one impromptu encounter with a car crash survivor, was destroyed.

There was a horrible car accident involving five students the week before my third Semester started. We had a new professor as our Editor in Chief and she was persistent about us covering this crash. The Dean came by and told her to back off the accident, the students were from Japan and the only survivor wanted to remain anonymous.

She begrudgingly agreed to back down, and on the same day assigned all the Editors were assigned with the new writers to cover a certain area of the school. I was assigned with a kid named Mark to cover the international students office.

Mark went around with a few questions to some students and counselors and I sat down next to a girl who was sitting alone. She looked frightened of me, which is hilarious because I am 5'1" at about 150 lbs and paler than Bella Swan. I asked her if I could sit with her, she nodded. I didn't think her english was very good but she was reading an astronomy textbook. I pointed at it and said I took that class a year before, I had trouble with the math. She said she did too, I gave her some tips and helped her with a chapter she didn't understand.

She chatted a bit about a few things, She's from Japan and said she had just spent the summer with a few cousins who lived in Tokyo and I got excited because at the time me and my then boyfriend were planning a trip there and asked her about what to do in the city.

Mark waved at me to leave and I thanked her for her time, she waved back with a cast on that I hadn't noticed before. She did have a friend come by halfway through our conversation but she was quiet and watched me like I was some kind of spy.

Mark grabbed my arm when we cleared the building and asked me who the girl was. I said that I was just chatting with her. He said that the survivor broke her right arm and he noticed the cast when she waved. He demanded I give him her name so we can tell our Professor.

I said no, I did get her name but I wasn't going to tell him or anyone, the Dean told us to stand down and I wasn't going to be responsible for causing that girl, if she was the survivor, any more trauma after watching four friends die instantly in a foreign country a week before school starts.

He practically dragged me back to the Paper and told the whole team and Professor that I found the survivor and didn't question her about the accident. I stood my ground, even when the Professor dragged me into her office and screamed at me to give up the name. Mark ran back to the office but the girl was gone.

She threatened to fail me, kick me out of the paper, but I wouldn't budge. I couldn't, I met her by accident and I wasn't going to try and advance my own career off of her pain. I'm not that person, I'm not cutthroat or ruthless, I won't hurt someone else to make myself look better. I cannot do it.

Things changed after that, my articles would get 'lost', I failed assignment after assignment no matter how much work I put in. I was scheduled for the crappiest stories and no one wanted to write for my section of the paper. I continuously did my best though, I wouldn't give up. Not when I'd be at the school till 2 am and then be back again at 7 am the next day. Not when my articles got printed wrong. Not when I got demoted to writer. Not when I was the only student without a press badge.

I gave 200% effort and I still got a D fo rthat semester.

To add a cherry on top, we had people from papers and news stations come in, including from Fox News to offer internships and jobs. I was only offered one, from Fox News and only if I went out on a date with the sleazy Producer who leered at me the entire time.

That was the last straw, my Professor pressured me to take the offer.

I quit Journalism. Which hit me harder than anything had in my life up to that point. I was crushed, physically and emotionally. My mom watched as I'd drag myself to bed at 3 am and get back up at 6 am to drag myself to school, living off of ramen and coffee, dropping ten lbs a month, and when I was home early, she'd catch me asleep on the kitchen counter over my laptop and stacks of books. I was killing myself for school and a full time job on top of that and it wasn't worth it.

I sank into a deep dark depression, and it was hard to pull myself out of it. When the time came to enroll for classes, I didn't know what to do. I enrolled in history and math and science, but then I found a graphic design class that was open, I was a fairly good artist in high school and actually won a few awards. I said what the hell and signed up for it.

Art brought me back to life. I found my passion for art again and it saved me. This was a career path that I never thought I'd be happy with but here I am, a designer at a social media promotion company and happier than I've ever been in my life.

Life in General

While my life isn't what I thought it'd be at this point, I am happy with it. Yes, there are aspects that could be better, but in the grand scheme of things it could also be a lot worse.

The thing is, there's no general key to happiness or success, because both have different definitions to everyone. I've never been motivated by money, success to me is creating something that affects people's lives in a good way and leaving a reminder of it when your gone. Happiness, while harder to obtain, is all about perspective. I'm happy because I have a home, a job I don't loathe, and the chance to better myself.

Don't measure your life against anyone else's, you will never be happy that way.