The promise, the marriage and the lies.

Most of our lives we search for that special someone the one who is to help us through any difficulties in our lives. The legend of the soulmate though some people fall through the cracks and find the one that is supposed to make them learn what love is. I found that love first when a soulmate was what I was hoping for.

I am so tired of looking for that perfect happily ever after most of the time that I give in to my husband’s extra demands of intimacy even if he wasn’t to shower. Though it was his promise to me that he would shower more frequently than every month and work on his anger issues. Our marriage feels as if it was based on a lie for that reason. It has now been almost two weeks and he still has not showered and would like for us to have relations again. I told him in his dreams and I was then scolded and told not to be surprised if I happen to find more pictures on his phone and social media messenger with other women.

We have been married almost four years and now it seems as if I am running on empty I love him and his son but it is getting to much for me. The lying about his ex wife and the lying about day to day life is starting to feel like it is not good for my mental health any longer. I once watched as my husband jerked my step-son by his shirt up to his own face, a good five foot off of the ground though he didn’t care who was watching. We were at a close family members birthday party when I saw my husband go into my grandmothers back yard. Though it was sunny I could see the rainclouds above my husbands head from his bad mood.

After a few hours into the party I caught sight of my husband pulling my then six year old step son by his shirt to his eye level and glaring at him. I thought he would through him into the disgusting pool that was behind them. A few of my family members stared at him waiting for him to raise a hand to the boy though I knew he wouldn’t at least not in front of so many people. A few minutes of silence and he set him down even the birds were in an intense staring contest to see what he would do. I found out later that it was because my step-son hit his buttocks once again after being told several times to not do it.

I have several more stories about my time with him and I am also still married to him though I am trying to leave and get my own place I also have 4 dogs that are near and dear to me and three that I need to cremate that he said the landlord murdered when the landlord could not have infact hurt my ESA. The reason, we were on our own property at the time and it had been well over forty eight hours before he showed the same symptoms as the other dogs. He also insists that it was done with bacon greese and a common sponge but my ESA would not eat just about anything he was very picky.

I suspect I will never know what happened but I will hope and pray that I can figure out how to get out some day.