The Life I Created In Mind, The Truth I have Lived My Life

Have you ever dreamt of your future life when you were a little child? What dream did you have? I have dreamt of my future life as a little child, and I believe lots of you had done that too. Do you still believe the dream you had? Do you live the dream now you had as a child?

No, it doesn’t have to be the dream job you dreamt about. It also could be a way of living — such as wanting a villa or just a small-town house, a way to save the world, or what kind of friends you want to have. Also, it could be what kind of vegetables you want to grow in your vegetable garden! I thought about such things.

As life continues, I didn’t think about my biggest dream, I fantasized, until this Summer: being a violinist.

I created my life in my mind as a little kid. I had a vision: becoming one of the best violinists of my generation. I didn’t work on my dreams after the birth of my three daughters. Now — my three daughters are 14, 12, and 8 years old — I still want to fulfill my dream. That was the dream I had as a little child.

I haven’t lived my dream (yet). I started a family first. I have no regrets I started a family first, but now I’m 33 years old, I realized that this is a second chance. My last chance as well and it is now. I’m looking for a conservatory at the moment that I definitely have a great feeling about being with for four years. Of course, I have to practice more, I love to do that. That is not the point. The point is, I have to combine this education with my motherhood.

During all those years of motherhood, I haven’t followed my dream; I was unsure about myself as a human being. I had lots of fears, which were forthcoming of my past; bullying, gaslighting, manipulation, and sexual abuse. I can find a lot of reasons why I can’t live my dream, but this is the turning point in my life to change the future and live my dream.

In the future, I live my dream, and I will squeeze in my arms I’m living my dream life: being one of its best violinists in the world, playing with lots of amazing musicians, and doing projects I love.

Don’t hold back your dream! You’ll be there once.

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This story has been published earlier on Medium:

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About the writer

Agnes Laurens is a writer. She writes for the local newspaper. Agnes lives in The Netherlands, with her husband and three daughters. You can find her on Vocal, Medium, Elephant Journal, HubPages, Music List. Writing is — aside from playing the violin — one of her passions since childhood. She is on Twitter and Instagram. You can subscribe to my mailing list, and you can subscribe to my Thoughts. Check out her books. She has an online web store, and she has a merchandise store. If you want to be informed about my online store and my merch, please follow this link.