Sorry, I'm Not Always As Good As I Should Be

I have a confession to make, folks. I am not as good as I want to be at this Vocal stuff. Let me explain.

I've not been feeling very well recently. Just a stupid cold sorta virus thing that's been invading my body. I will survive, as Gloria Gaynor suggested. I had a random argument with myself about whether it was Gloria G or Donna Summer, but yes, it was Gloria G. My voice is all broken and somewhere between whiny and cracked and croaky. If it wasn't for the involuntary coughing, I'm sure I could give my best sinister old Mafiosa guy impression. Pauly Two Socks. Or something.

Anyway, first paragraph and I'm already digressing. What I actually wanted to write about was the fact that in the couple of days I've been away from Facebook and Vocal, I've not just got behind on my posting, but also my reading.

And it made me think about how hard it is to do everything, sometimes.

What I Love About Vocal

There are several things I love about writing and publishing through Vocal.

• It's a very immediate way to get feedback...I feel it's giving me something of a voice and a small but growing audience and given me the oppoertunity to experiment and expand my horizons with regards to my writing.
• I also love that I have been exposed to such a rich variety of awesome creators. My favourites have been shouted out in my January Reflections post, so I will skip it here.
• Then I love that we can comment on each other's work and comment one another with a view to encouraging and helping to push us onwards and upwards.

The Things That Stress Me About Vocal

This is also where I get a little stressed (I know I really shouldn't, but we all do things we shouldn't).

Because it all takes time. It takes time, yes even my work takes time, to get from stewing in the sesspool of my mind and onto a digital sheet of paper. Then it takes time to sufficiently promote/inflict the things I create.

Which is fine. You gotta get your stuff out there if you want people to find it and read it. Maybe some people would just stop there. After all, who the fuck cares about anyone else?

You know who cares about others - this weird Scottish Italian guy, that's who!

I know for a fact that most people feel the same way - we all love the reciprocal nature of Vocal and platforms like it.

So then that means I need to take time to read other people's work. Something, I would like to add, that I am not complaining about, because I absolutely love it.

I love sitting down and just reading the impressive poetry, fictional stories and insightful articles that you can find right here in just a few clicks.

But, then I feel bad as soon as I fall behind on anything. Even though I try my best to avoid it happening.

Overthinking or a Common Feeling?

Then I start worrying that people are going to think that I am the type of ass that only posts is self indulgent nonsense and expects everyone to click on the links and read it, without me reading everything in return.

So, I make efforts to read as much as I can, and love it. It never ceases to amaze me just how many wonderful writers are out there.

There is almost too many. If there was such a thing.

I try to get into good habits with it, to stay on top of it all. But, often, life gets in the way and that's fine because I am more than just a Vocal writer. I'm a husband, carer (to my wife), content writer for my proper work and dad.

We all have our commitments and all have things that are important to us beyond our writing work and Vocal bubble.

I guess I just want people to know that I am sorry I am not superman, and that if I missed your poem or story, I will get round to it eventually. Anything I have missed out or have not read yet, has not been an intentional dismissive act.

Summary

I know this might sound like some sad pathetic moan. I honestly don't mean it that way.

I can only do what I can do and will continue to make improvements where I can. Know that I have not forgotten about you. I will continue to take time the time to read other people's work, because honestly, it's a joy. I don't want it to become a chore, but I do want to give it a fraction of my time and effort.

I will also work harder at not getting so hung up over the fact that I am not Kal-El and don't have all the time in the world to read every post I'd love to, right away.

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Thank you for reading. While I know a few people feel the same, I wanted to maybe open it up to the comments section - do you find it a struggle sometimes, to keep up on all the different aspects of writing, reading, sharing and commenting in Vocal land?

If you enjoyed this piece, please take a moment to drop a comment, click the heart or both.

All interactions and feedback is greatly appreciated.

Here is a couple of shorter pieces you may enjoy:

You can also check out the rest of my work here.