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Some More Thoughts On My Writing Difficulties

by Mike Singleton - Mikeydred 16 days ago in Secrets / Humanity / Friendship / Embarrassment / Bad habits
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I Publish A Lot, But I Still Worry

Introduction

Although I publish a lot on Vocal I do have difficulties in writing, and this generates a lot of anxiety in me. I am lucky enough to be able to pull ideas and subjects almost out of the ether, to actually create a Vocal story, while I never seem to hit a writer's block I do seem to continually have the anxiety that goes with that.

A Few Issues

Although there is no confirmation of this from Vocal and they would probably deny it, I believe that the time a reader needs to spend on a story to register a read has significantly increased, resulting in many of my stories having significantly more Vocal Hearts than reads. I even see stories that have maybe four or five positive comments but only one or two reads after a few months.

This makes me feel that people find my work insignificant and boring, but I know from the reaction in the Facebook Vocal Groups that this is not true. I have no right to expect anyone to read my stories or to leave positive feedback and given that I post almost daily I really would not expect anyone to read even ten per cent of my output.

I have 401 Vocal subscribers and I subscribe to even more than that but I probably get maybe twenty reads a day according to Vocal although I am sure that the reality is that I get a lot more reads than the stats show. I don’t know if there is a way of checking Vocal’s stats, but I have given up on that, they continually tell me that the figures are fine and we don’t need to be concerned.

Against that I find Vocal a very good platform to store and share my work. It doesn’t include adverts and we get paid for reads by non Vocal members. Yes I pay my ten dollars a month, but I do get paid more than that each month, mainly due to my participation in the Vocal Ambassadors program.

Imposter Syndrome always hits me and almost every piece I write, including this one, I feel will not be worth reading by anybody. Then when I see my pieces have no reactions that rubber stamps that I am not very good, but the probability is that it has been read elsewhere but because of the situation that I mentioned earlier, the read may not show up as a read, re-emphasising my sense of failure.

But The Issues Don’t Faze Me

Even though I have these issues creating anxiety in me I always force myself to write and publish, because if I didn’t I would definitely feel that I had failed.

When I write and publish I feel lifted, and when I even get a heart from friends, people I know and people I don;t know I get a further lift. Then comments are another big lift for me, and I know when I publish I will get that interaction for people.

Vocal allows me to write about anything that I am inspired by and I really do enjoy being here. I have written about how I got kick-started on Vocal and that has given me an amazing sense of achievement. I have confidence in myself and what I produce and I will keep writing, creating and publishing to hopefully share myself with people who want to share things back with me.

Conclusion

I really am in a good place, yes I am continually hit with anxiety, but with the support I get from my friends in public and via direct messages (I love having 121 conversations with my Vocal friend) I can always find inspiration and that keeps me on an upward creative path.

I included "The Brightest Lights (Cast The Darkest Shadows)" by King Charles with Mumford and Sons , and I suppose the brighter we burn the more shadows we see.

I will keep on keeping on.

SecretsHumanityFriendshipEmbarrassmentBad habits

About the author

Mike Singleton - Mikeydred

Weaver of Tales,Poems,Music & Love

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Comments (7)

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  • LIMA14 days ago

    Such a wonderful publish. Well deserved top story!

  • Heather Hubler15 days ago

    I admire your perseverance and dedication and positivity :) I don't get to read everything you write but I do enjoy what I'm able to. Thanks for sharing!

  • I agree with everyone here. We all doubt and question our work. I appreciate your articles and love your feedback and encouragement

  • Cathy holmes15 days ago

    Nah. Don't let it get to you. Like you said, just keep on keeping on. I think we all feel some of our stuff is crap, especially with challenge failures. sometimes I get discouraged and sometimes I think twice, or ten times, about posting something then go ahead and do it anyway.

  • Misty Rae16 days ago

    A very open and honest piece. I enjoy your work very much, although I do admit I've been delinquent recently in reading, not just your work, but any work at all. Between challenge overload, writing my novel, doing the necessary research to write the aforementioned novel, and trying to fit a life in there somewhere, it's been tough to find time. That said, I totally get the anxiety and Imposter Syndrome. I also suffer from it. You'd think, from the outside looking in that someone that's won as many challenges as I have would be all cool and confident, yet it's not the case. I worry every time I publish something that it's utter crap. And then even after I publish, I often come very close to deleting the story because I can, very literally, feel my toes curling with embarrassment as I imagine people giving it a quick glance and then laughing at the absolute drivel I had the audacity to produce. Like you, it doesn't stop me, but at least for me, it sometimes comes pretty close.

  • C. H. Richard16 days ago

    I always admire the amount of work you publish. I especially enjoyed your Edgar Allen Poe collection. You put a great of hard work and research into your work as well. Always look forward to your pieces. Thank you for sharing this story. I still have a knot in my stomach every time I hit submit when creating a story so I can so relate. Well done!

  • Keila Aartila16 days ago

    I read this, Mike! you are a good and loved writer here, and your presence is gold! 🥇⭐️

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