Some More Thoughts On My Writing Difficulties
I Publish A Lot, But I Still Worry
Although I publish a lot on Vocal I do have difficulties in writing, and this generates a lot of anxiety in me. I am lucky enough to be able to pull ideas and subjects almost out of the ether, to actually create a Vocal story, while I never seem to hit a writer's block I do seem to continually have the anxiety that goes with that.
A Few Issues
Although there is no confirmation of this from Vocal and they would probably deny it, I believe that the time a reader needs to spend on a story to register a read has significantly increased, resulting in many of my stories having significantly more Vocal Hearts than reads. I even see stories that have maybe four or five positive comments but only one or two reads after a few months.
This makes me feel that people find my work insignificant and boring, but I know from the reaction in the Facebook Vocal Groups that this is not true. I have no right to expect anyone to read my stories or to leave positive feedback and given that I post almost daily I really would not expect anyone to read even ten per cent of my output.
I have 401 Vocal subscribers and I subscribe to even more than that but I probably get maybe twenty reads a day according to Vocal although I am sure that the reality is that I get a lot more reads than the stats show. I don’t know if there is a way of checking Vocal’s stats, but I have given up on that, they continually tell me that the figures are fine and we don’t need to be concerned.
Against that I find Vocal a very good platform to store and share my work. It doesn’t include adverts and we get paid for reads by non Vocal members. Yes I pay my ten dollars a month, but I do get paid more than that each month, mainly due to my participation in the Vocal Ambassadors program.
Imposter Syndrome always hits me and almost every piece I write, including this one, I feel will not be worth reading by anybody. Then when I see my pieces have no reactions that rubber stamps that I am not very good, but the probability is that it has been read elsewhere but because of the situation that I mentioned earlier, the read may not show up as a read, re-emphasising my sense of failure.
But The Issues Don’t Faze Me
Even though I have these issues creating anxiety in me I always force myself to write and publish, because if I didn’t I would definitely feel that I had failed.
When I write and publish I feel lifted, and when I even get a heart from friends, people I know and people I don;t know I get a further lift. Then comments are another big lift for me, and I know when I publish I will get that interaction for people.
Vocal allows me to write about anything that I am inspired by and I really do enjoy being here. I have written about how I got kick-started on Vocal and that has given me an amazing sense of achievement. I have confidence in myself and what I produce and I will keep writing, creating and publishing to hopefully share myself with people who want to share things back with me.
I really am in a good place, yes I am continually hit with anxiety, but with the support I get from my friends in public and via direct messages (I love having 121 conversations with my Vocal friend) I can always find inspiration and that keeps me on an upward creative path.
I included "The Brightest Lights (Cast The Darkest Shadows)" by King Charles with Mumford and Sons , and I suppose the brighter we burn the more shadows we see.
I will keep on keeping on.