Size Zero? Zero Sense

A lovely friend of mine was recently shown on TV, being interviewed in her element, working out and teaching martial arts at a gym that she manages. Her job wasn’t the main focus of that TV story (it was actually about her connection to the British royal family), but all that many people were able to see was her larger frame, not typical for athletes.

That hit close to home for me. Never being skinny, I have nevertheless always been athletic. Starting with volleyball at 7, I continued with skiing at 10, and was always taking part in all school athletic activities. These days I run regularly, go on long hikes, and have been participating in stair climbing charity competitions for the last 10 years, where I get to climb up the skyscrapers, the tallest probably being the US Bank building in downtown Los Angeles (73 floors!)

At the age of 24, while still living in Russia, I took a training course to become an aerobics instructor. I passed all my tests (both theoretical and practical ones) but didn’t get certified due to being “bigger than a regular instructor,” in the words of the course creator. I lacked a bit of flexibility, but not strength or knowledge, and promised to work on it if they pass me, but the jury refused to since I didn’t “visually fit the image.” That became quite a blow to my confidence, so I have never aspired to be an instructor again.

About the same time, I became a fan of belly dancing and started taking classes that I enormously enjoyed. By the time I moved to LA I had been doing it for several years, so when I saw a Craigslist ad about joining a performing belly dancing group, I didn’t hesitate to apply.

At the audition all the applicants were taught a dance routine that I had no problems recreating. The organizers picked me together with several other ladies and took us to a different room. That sounded like a good sign, and I couldn’t help getting excited. The group leader praised me on my moves, but then confessed that the performers only wear size zero costumes, so myself and another curvy woman wouldn’t be able to join the group despite our experience.

The other lady and I stared at each other for a moment and then burst out laughing. That sounded like nonsense, because the essence of belly dancing is having bigger breasts, a bit of a belly, and sizable hips. “Sorry, but this is LA style belly dancing!” announced the group leader. How can you argue with that?

As if that wasn’t depressing enough, later that month I started looking for jobs, and sent my resume to a variety of places, including a yoga studio in Hollywood, where they needed an administrative assistant. Once I showed up for my interview, a tiny lady appeared, and gave me a thorough look, up and down. “Please follow me to my office,” she said, pursing her lips. There she asked me several questions but didn’t seem to be listening with too much attention. At some point she sighed and interrupted one of my detailed answers. “Ok honey, I will be brutally honest. For our studio, image is above everything. And you don’t look like someone who does yoga or any other regular workouts…”

Now it was my turn to interrupt. “Sorry, but I thought you were looking for an administrative assistant?” She blushed. “Yes, and you have great computer and social skills, and your English is impressive for someone who just moved to the country. But no, my assistant cannot be even remotely overweight…”

At that point, I just had to laugh it off and move on. Lucky for me, soon enough I found a job and started meeting people, one of which became my best friend. Together we started going on numerous hikes, stair climbs, and at some point, we even signed up for a yearly competitive stair climb in downtown LA.

The very first time I found myself on top of the tallest building in LA, I felt nothing but triumph. Now, do I still sound like someone who doesn’t work out regularly? Sometimes a number on the scale is just a number, and not necessarily a reflection of one’s physical form. These days I am getting back into running, as well (I have just recently run a couple competitive 5K races, and I am not planning to stop there)!