Shame on me

Shame on me

My name is Jessica, a 30-year-old woman. I broke up with my child's father a few months ago even though he takes good care of our child. I decided to call him here Frank. I met another guy over nine months ago and we immediately hit it off. Here is where my story began.

I will call this other man kevin. kevin is exactly my type with blue eyes, brown hair, and very tall. We started dating by sharing some of our personal life experiences, tastes, and passions. After a few outings, I did not hesitate to accept the invitation to his apartment. From the first day I visited his home, it seemed as if everything aligned as we shared our daily activities schedule and I got free access to his apartment. Why is such a good man, financially stable still single? Didn't he find the right woman earlier on? Does he want to take advantage of me? If he has someone in his life, why i am suddenly so present to the extent that I have access to almost everything I want? Even though all his answers to my worries were in my favor, I did not feel so satisfied. It was so good to be true. After consulting a few friends who advised me to pray before going wholeheartedly, I decided not to tell him I was a single mother. Was it a wise decision? From our interaction, he is a very responsible person. I have to admit that I feel deeply sorry for hiding this fact. We are somewhere in Ontario Canada. Initially, I did not take him seriously. As time went by i got to know him and started to feel very comfortable around him. He treats me as a queen and includes me in everything that concerns him as if we are already officially married. I may say in a few words that he is my diamond man. We are already advanced in this relationship and I am afraid to tell him the truth about my child.

I am reluctant because I do not want to hurt him, or I can not afford to lose him. Most importantly I am confused about the timing. I have been asking myself several times about the right time to reveal the truth to him. Like I said earlier, Kevin is a man who respects, cares, and loves me unconditionally ever since I met him. I had never asked for any intimacy with him until last week when we decided to taste our cookie. Here the problem arose. Indeed during the preliminaries, he started sucking my As***! and the milk starts flowing. We were both shocked because he didn't know I have a child and the child is almost two. I weaned him at 10 months so I didn't understand where breast milk came from. After that, He stared at me asking angrily "What kind of a woman are you, having intercourse with men while breastfeeding?" His eyes suddenly changed colors. I've never felt so ashamed in my entire life. He asked me to get dressed and free his house immediately. I couldn't say a word, and I left timidly.

He has frozen all possible means of communication with me and he changed the door lock of his apartment and potentially his schedule.

What a mistake on my side! How can I make it up if he doesn't give me a second chance? In my entire life, a man never treated me so dearly. What should I do to talk to him?

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