Nightmare of a Mom

I never thought that I'd be experiencing this. Ever since I became a single mom without any warning it's been really tough. Don't get me wrong , I've had some good years and I love my children to death... the most painful part is being in a position where I'm not able to give them the life they truly deserve.

Hi, I'm Kassandra and this is my story. As I continue to type, tears fill my eyes because there's so much I need to unpack. My aim is to help or connect with females who have gone through similar struggles and to also shed light on rushing into relationships or marriage for the wrong reasons. Things I wish I knew and did differently in my 20s.

As I'm sitting around my dinner table my heart is drowned in sorrow. Today is October 5,2023 and I haven't been able to send my two girls to school since the week started . I have no help and the people who would help are not in the position to, so I'm alone trying different ways to figure this out. I had big plans for my future when I was younger. I still do but for some reason poor decision making from my past and the devil has been haunting me. Everything I try either takes forever to reach the level of success I desire or I get knocked down each time I'm climbing up that rope.

It all started when I went to a church that's in a parish I've never been before. There I saw the boy that would become my husband who is now my ex-husband - thank God . Note that during this time I was still in love with someone else who I met at camp but was too afraid to make us exclusive due to being hurt by my first love. As a result of that ,when I was ready to take the next step he was no longer confident in going the extra mile because of previous events. Let's put it this was , he wasn't going to give away certain for uncertainty.

I'm a movie person so i'm going to call my ex husband Joker from out of Batman. After we visited their church they came back to ours. I knew he liked me when we visited their church the first time but I wasn't interested in Joker at all. He was short and small in body and looked like a child . I only dated taller than me and had to have certain criteria. Joker made his move after my convention ended , he got my number and the rest was history.

He lied about his age and so many other things, during our phone conversations he would always talk about marriage and how he is asking God for his wife. He even told me that he was on fasting and prayed and he got an answer that I was his wife . Lol what a load of bull.

Growing up me and my bestie would often talk about our wedding ,fantasize about it and all that girly stuff so when a guy that is young talks about marriage it sounds really promising and great. He said he was the same age as me - twenty but that was a lie and it turned out he was nineteen. Based on our text chats I realized that he had issues with words . I knew I wasn't attracted to that and wasn't ready for another relationship but I overlooked it due to the reminder to move on from previous love. Some would call it rebound.

Joker wanted to come look for me but when he came he did not leave. I eventually pushed my past love behind and gave Joker a chance. Things moved pretty quickly and we fell in love.

To be continued.

Written By:

K. Williams

A.K.A QueenK.W_ on YouTube.