My Final Vocal Story

The Bad Introduction

This starts because I will be off Facebook over the weekend because I will be in Scotland. My Instagram posts will filter through and I have scheduled group posts so I don't need to be here.

There is no need for you to read this as it is just things going around in my head and a test of something that I saw today, though apologies for the semi-clickbait header. But apologies if it seems messy, if you to go further in.

In the past, I have written and posted Vocal stories on my phone but it is not really practical so I will not be writing, apart from jotting ideas down in Google Docs to pick up when I get back, but I still feel on a downer.

So How Do I Deal With This?

Firstly writing this piece, let the words flow and say various things, let ideas fall out. This is mental scribbling using a computer keyboard rather than a pen and paper.

I am very wary of publishing poem after poem and l like to make sure that a poem is always followed by a prose piece, just to convince myself that I am not being lazy (although my poems are anything but lazy despite some derogatory comments about them). I sometimes try fiction but I do feel too often they are in dystopian or horror genres so I try and redirect them but usually fail, and then I myself start to feel like a failure.

I do feel that I am always in the wrong, but it's often because I have to fix things when things do go wrong, and therefore I become more associated with things that go wrong. When things are fixed and going right the only thing that you are remembered for is you were there when things were wrong.

Fixing things is good, and doing new things is good, and this is the way that I keep positive and always find a way forward, try and find something new, or try and share something with others that they will see as something new.

At my age, I have a lot of experience and had a lot of knockbacks, but I always come out fine. I am my own worst critic and I think I will always be like that but I am lucky to have a confident resilience that keeps me going.

Yes This Is A Confessional

I am getting things off my chest but I saw something unusual today on social media that gave me a little hope. I won't say what it was, but it made me feel a little more confident.

I do feel I am maybe a little obsessive, but it is that obsession that enables me to produce the things that I create, in the quantity and hopefully decent quality that I make.

I listen to a lot of music from classical to metal and most genres in between and they give me inspiration, from Beethoven to Black Sabbath. I also get incredibly inspired by chatting with people and I don't know how that happens but I take it happily.

I do get very upset when I am ignored by people I consider friends, and if you are reading this, then you know you are not one of the ones upsetting me. The thing is I only expect people to read things that interest them so I know all my creations will not suit everyone, but sometimes I do feel my name is enough to put people off, but twenty-four thousand reads would say that more than enough people like my work.

Conclusion

On Monday I will be back with something far more coherent. Enjoy life my friends. I am following the philosophy of the Wet Willie song I have included and I am going to Keep On Smilin'