Bound by Heart, Longing for Home

Just remembered and wrote a few words casually. This sentence has to be said since high school.

In September 2000, I entered the only high school in the county, which was my first time leaving home, actually just over 20 miles away. To be honest, I didn't like staying there and wasn't used to it. I was used to being lazy at home and couldn't carry out my fishing life, which was very frustrating. I was trapped inside the wall all day long, and had to rely on flying eaves and walls to get out, or disguised as a day student to get by, and was often caught. So I looked forward to the monthly homecoming week all day long, looking forward to the stars and moon, and missing home. Actually, when you say you miss home, it doesn't mean that a man can't live without his family. I just really wanted to see every blade of grass and tree in the house, see what changes there were. Every time I got home, I didn't stay at home, but went out to wander around, in the fields, forests, and rivers, and see where to catch fish. I didn't go home all day. At that time, there was a half-day off every Sunday afternoon in school, and my colleagues who lived in the dormitory usually went shopping It left a deep impression on me. After class ended at 12 o'clock, I quickly ran to the station and took the 12:15 bus. I got off at around 12:45 and entered my house around 1:05. As time passed, the ticket seller recognized me. I even saw her once during International Workers' Day in Tangshan this year and greeted her. She even referred to herself as my aunt.

However, it was a so-called "home-loving" me who went to college but ended up in Sichuan, which is more than 4,000 miles away from home.

When my dad sent me to leave, the school was holding a new student opening ceremony, and the square with more than ten thousand people was bustling. My heart was really empty. But this feeling quickly disappeared. After all, life in college is rich, relatively free and relaxed. You can do what you like, and there are no worries or worries, unlike now. So at that time, my mind was full of the good side, and there was no room for anything else. The expectation for the holiday was not so strong because there were various exams before the holiday. In college, you know, most exams rely on sprinting before the exam, so the theme of each day before the holiday was self-study. The only thing to worry about was the train ticket.

Later on, I studied for three more years as a graduate student until I graduated in 2011. The days of graduate students were even more boring than those of undergraduate students. The relationship between colleagues was not like that of undergraduate students, who were mostly busy with their own things. Moreover, many roommates in the same dormitory were not in the same major or even in the same grade, so they had less contact with each other and their emotions faded. Moreover, the research tasks of graduate students were relatively heavy, and the pressure of writing papers, publishing articles, and finding jobs was great, so they no longer had no worries like undergraduate students. Therefore, I have been looking forward to graduating smoothly as soon as possible. At the same time, when people are under great pressure, their mood naturally becomes more depressed, and the feeling of homesickness becomes stronger.

After working, as expected, I ended up in another city. At this time, there are fewer holidays, and going home has become a luxury. I can only go back for about 10 days a year. Over the years of work, there have been joys and troubles, but joys can be shared with family, but troubles cannot be revealed to them. Every time I drag my heavy luggage back home and see the changing hometown and aging family, I feel emotional. Just a few days later, I have to embark on the journey back, and I feel particularly uncomfortable. I hope everything in front of me will be the same when I come back next time.

It is already April 2022, and it has been nearly 20 years since September 2004. My hometown and relatives seem to be getting farther and farther away. As the saying goes, where the heart is at ease is my hometown. However, the homeland complex of the Chinese people cannot be changed by time, including Su Shi.