A Kind of Proposal

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

It’s 2023.

I don’t understand the expectation that men are the ones that are “expected” to propose in a heterosexual relationship. In all honesty, I think this tradition is outdated.

I have been contemplating this thought for a while now actually.

There is a little bit of a backstory here though.

So I got the idea in my head to kind of jokingly propose to my boyfriend when we were camping this summer. We have been talking about our future wedding for some time. (Pretty much ever since we attended my cousins wedding a few months back.) So after spending some quality time with this beautiful man and my children, I bought him a ring pop and a package of candy smokes from the booth. I knew he was my one after the holiday we took together.

I was extremely nervous as I walked back down to the beach where he was playing with my children. I looked right at him and said, “Will you marry me?” I didn’t bend the knee though because I felt awkward as there was a bunch of people around us as well. This was quite the impromptu proposal. He laughed and jokingly said yes but also made it very obvious that he will be the one to propose. He did keep the candy ring however as a keepsake.

So I got thinking, why is it traditionally men that propose to their spouse in a heterosexual relationship?

Typically, the man in the relationship is expected to propose as it asserts some from of dominance or loyalty but I did some research into this.

Men proposing to their partner is the societal norm because women have been treated like property for centuries. I mean come on, us women used to come with a wedding dowery and everything. Most marriages were a form of a transaction for a very long time. People would trade their daughter’s hands in marriage for property or to settle a debt of some sort. Not cool. Especially if you didn’t have much of a say in who you marry.

Women have been considered to be “too emotional” to pick a suitable mate. Where as men are considered to be more levelheaded and able to make a rational decision when it comes to marriage.

Apparently proposal “tradition” dates back to medieval times. Knights would bend a knee out of respect for royalty. When a man proposes to his bride on bended knee, it’s a sign of devotion and respect for that person.

Another proposal tradition is asking for the family’s permission before proposing to your bride which I can understand to some degree as you want their respect and support in your marriage but, at the same time I believe that you love who you love.

Props to you ladies that have successfully proposed to their husbands. I respect that a lot actually.

What do you think of my silly candy proposal?

I’d love to hear some proposal stories in the comments down below.

I’ve been daydreaming about a wedding ever since my first wedding cater I did when I was fourteen years old.

Over the years, I’ve catered over 100 weddings at the restaurant I’ve worked at most of my life. It will be a proud moment for me when I finally get to wear that beautiful dress I’ve always imagined myself in. Not to mention the ring.

Thanks for reading this story.

Chloe Rose Violet 🌹

Sources

https://www.abc10.com/article/entertainment/television/programs/why-guy-question/proposals-one-knee-marriage-engagement/103-3dfc639e-2f64-4561-aa95-b26d0c5a5a40

https://www.thelist.com/34169/men-historically-propose-women/

https://www.yourengagement101.com/propose-too/2018/09/still-expect-propose/