Youthful Days

The rain is falling across my window, and a warm cup of tea is beside my laptop as I type away. I am writing this while listening too, Avril Lavigne's "I'm with you" playing loudly through my headphones. I feel a sense of comfort and warmth as it is playing. The playlist I made has songs that will have stories behind them. Others are just songs that make me smile. I went through a typical punk rock phase that some of us go through. I swapped out the girly girl clothes for the band shirts. I stole my mom's black eyeliner and would light the tip with a lighter, thinking it would make it blacker and heavier. I am sure Simple Plan's "Welcome to my Life" was my daily anthem in middle school.

My 8th-grade dance was filled with us singing loudly, proudly to Panic of the Disco and Blink 182. As I continue to daydream about those days, I am sure we were the only ones requesting My Chemical Romance and Fall out Boy as well. Those middle school days ended quickly, along with the memories of those songs.

High school was a roller coaster, but the songs that I listened to were my lighthouse in a dark time. The friends I knew and cherished went to different schools, and I was alone. Green day was the first lighthouse that I came across. My dad died when I just entered high school in September. I did not have friends or anyone to talk to when he passed. Music at the time was my savior and life jacket. I clung to Green Day's "Wake me up when September ends" like I was drowning, and it was my only way to survive. I found myself repeating it throughout the day along with "Hate Me" by Blue October. During that period, I found having a pen and paper was like having a friend. I found comfort in writing down my feelings and thoughts.

After my dad died, a year later, we moved. My mom found a house in a small town in the middle of nowhere. I found myself listening to music increasingly each day at school. Alicia Keys, Beyonce, and Mary J. Blige were some artists I would play a lot. My high school was not genuinely diverse, which led to bullying. Alicia Keys was an inspiration for me. I would listen to her album As I am. The Intro is beautiful even though there are no words, but you can still feel the emotions through the piano. I also must add that her song "Super Women" fits nicely after listening to them back-to-back. These songs were another life jacket for me. There was a moment I remember vividly. I was on the bus listening to Beyonce's "Ring the Alarm," and I finally had enough of the bullying. I tried to ignore it first at first. But their words finally got to me. I remember so clearly standing up for myself on the bus and with Beyonce playing loudly through my headphones. After that day, the bullying and racist remarks stopped. I did make new friends and memories in high school. I finished high school with my head held high, and the song I finished the year out with was Mary J. Blige's, "Take me as I am."

There are a lot of songs and memories that I could bring up. I know some will have love songs and love stories to share. I felt the strongest memories through these select songs. As I was writing this, I realize I still find comfort through music and writing. Recalling the bad experiences, the songs from our youth, and the words we write on paper. I do believe these memories and songs stay with us as adults. Whether we listen to them daily or on occasion, you'll feel a nostalgic feeling when those songs come on.