Shout out to my Ex

I think most people have had an ex-partner that has done a number on their head. I have written a post like this before about two years ago. But this song has been hitting hard for me lately with what I'm going through. Sometimes you can do all the right things for the wrong people and still wind up being the bad guy. You can always be bad in someone's book. I learnt that lesson the hard way.

I fell in love with a psychopath many years ago. Self proclaimed one at that. He broke my heart and spirit so many times by cheating on me, gaslighting me, physically abusing me, and so much more. More people side with my abuser because he is able to manipulate people into believing that I deserved what I went through- but it keeps happening to other women and it is escalating. You can't make up trauma in my opinion.

This song has gotten me through so many dark periods in my life but today I decided to write instead of wallowing in my pain.

Praying by Ke$ha

Well, you almost had me fooled . Told me that I was nothing without you . Oh, but after everything you've done . I can thank you for how strong I have become...

I was fooled for so many years with how in love I was with the wrong person. Now I get to use my voice and speak up for his next victim. I have never known pain like this before. But the strength that I have gained from all my experience with abusive relationships has taught me more lessons than I can give myself credit for.

Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell . I had to learn how to fight for myself . And we both know all the truth I could tell . I'll just say this is I wish you farewell

The fact that I still find out more of what he was doing behind my back when I was living with him- even years later is astonishing to me. I just take it with a smile and laugh it off but deep down it hurts. That's when I pull out my strength.

I hope you're somewhere praying, praying . I hope your soul is changing, changing . I hope you find your peace . Falling on your knees, praying...

I love the chourus of this song. It brings me peace when I listen to the words.

I'm proud of who I am . No more monsters, I can breathe again . And you said that I was done . Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come.

I have never felt more free than I do now because I stand rooted in my truth. When you love someone that isn't good for you, you can become kind of a monster- at least in my experience. I remember the dread in my stomach when I would come home to him being in a mood. I never knew which way to turn when it came to his mood swings. I like to just tell myself I was his practice girl. It made me realize he never loved me, he just used me for his own personal gain until I had nothing left to give to him.

'Cause I can make it on my own . And I don't need you, I found a strength I've never known . I've been thrown out, I've been burned . When I'm finished, they won't even know your name.

I may feel powerless right now, but that is all going to change one day. My strength is here for a reason.

You brought the flames and you put me through hell . I had to learn how to fight for myself . And we both know all the truth I could tell . I'll just say this is I wish you farewell . I hope you're somewhere praying, praying . I hope your soul is changing, changing . I hope you find your peace . Falling on your knees, praying.

The chorus of this song really hits home for me. I love the line "And we both know all the truth I could tell." Because sometimes the truth is silent but deadly, I have decided to use my voice to speak up for those that cannot speak for themselves.

Oh, sometimes, I pray for you at night . Someday, maybe you'll see the light . Oh, some say, in life, you're gonna get what you give . But some things, only God can forgive . I hope you're somewhere praying, praying . I hope your soul is changing, changing . I hope you find your peace . Falling on your knees, praying...

I truly hope that he finds his peace. I found mine through writing. _____________________________________________

I hope you enjoyed my ramblings about the song Praying by Ke$ha. It truly is one of my favourite songs to listen to. I have learned to heal through music and writing. I truly hope he finds his peace someday. We both have been through enough.

Chloe Rose Violet

Check out a similar piece I did a few years ago on one of Halsey's songs down below!