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Memory Lane

Discovering angst through the years

By C.Z.Published 3 years ago 3 min read
Memory Lane
Photo by Milena Trifonova on Unsplash

Happy. Bubbly. Sweet.

The words used to describe me as a child and most of my teenage years. Angsty, angry, emotional, those are not words anyone ever used to describe me. Every teen has angst though, right? I didn't even know what angst was until my older sister was about 16.

Control by Metro Station

Metro Station. My intro to pop/scene/angsty tunes. I love them still and this song was it when I was 11. By the time hormones started flooding in around 12, I knew exactly who to turn to.

I still never considered myself particularly angsty or edgy. Truly the only place I found that identity was in music. Even before I knew what I was doing I had a....

Dirty Little Secret by All American Reject

Okay, not that dirty. Baby me was learning what emotions other than happy were. Ages 12 and 13 were big. I had braces, a very real source of anger and angst if ever there was one. And I had my very first relationship.

By relationship I mean I had a boyfriend that I only got to e-mail the entire time we were "together" because I lived 25 miles away. But then we broke up and I was positive, at 13, that no one would ever like me again.

Just a Kid by Simple Plan

We were all bombarded by this song in the mid-2000's. It was in every movie with a montage about an outcast kid. And we all loved it.

"I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare"

I mean, it was impossible to not scream sing along as 13-year-old who just wanted to grow up, ditch the braces, magically get pretty like in the movies, and find that fine boyfriend. Simple Plan was such a vibe and I loved that they were entire plot point in Mary-Kate and Ashley's movie New York Minute.

Thank You by Dido

At 15 my angst took a turn, a very bummer turn. I discovered 19 by Adele, Regina Spektor, Birdie, and most importantly No Angel, Dido's best album.

At 15 I met the love of my life. No, really, we're married now. But he didn't see me at first. We were classmates in chemistry and he was two years old and super hot. At the time, I felt the only thing I had going for me was my beautiful, straight smile (thanks braces) and I didn't think he even saw me.

I would come home after classes and gush to my bestie about the really hot guy in our class. I pined. I listened to Dido on repeat.

First Love by Adele

Then he noticed me!!!! We went on a few dates, he joined my partnering class at ballet, I was ecstatic. Happiest 16-year-old probably ever. I knew we would end up together.

Then we broke up.

But then we got back together!!!

To say dating was an angsty period would be underestimating my teenage years to the extreme.

Fight for Your Right by Beastie Boys

My later teenage years were when I embraced the angst. I moved out, got married, set out to create a life for myself. The Beastie Boys were my anthem for a while, feeding the "angry" emotions that came with growing up, working, dealing with life.

Deep down I'm still an angsty teen. I still listen to Nirvana and grunge out. I yell the lyrics to every Alanis Morissette song I know. Simple Plan will get me to dance alone in my living room every time.

Embrace the angst. Embrace the role music plays in your teenage (and adult) years.


About the Creator


A slightly inspired, barely motivated, lover of fact and fiction

Reader insights


Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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  • Mariann Carroll2 years ago

    Hearted , could not resist a playlist story. I also subscribe. I like the topics you write about. Looking forward to reading some more of your stories. ♥️🥰

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