It Begins with a Forgiveness

In a garden far and wide there is this one lonesome rose that sits embedded on a pedestal. Crimson tints your vision as you can't help but to covet the being immediately, it's penetrating beauty connecting you to the living entity, and suddenly you are happy. It's just sitting there. Curiosity begins to walk with the intent on meeting Captivation. In the air, what is that? Permeating a dusty pink hue eclipses the world, there's this rising fall deep in your core you haven't yet explored and your heart begs, no, implores, you to relinquish control but of course you can't, not once more...

The sting still resonates on the tip of your finger from 4 years ago like resin stains that sit and linger on your old soul. One day long ago, that pain was beautiful, captivating like this one, it was August with weather restless, but in the distance, there was this exotic flower with a color called "Resilience". You remember the strong way it stood tall -- thorns and all. All were captivated by its allure but once close up refused to incur the sharp edges that stuck out because they were unsure. They couldn't understand, weren't comfortable, and were insecure. The people, in awe of this Bachelor's Button, stayed far away but you felt the enigmatic draw of it. You couldn't quite put your finger on it at the time, but what they missed, you felt when around it...

And now the similarities are forming around your head, constricting it, it must be the same, it has to be, or else why would it feel this way now? Shallow breaths and backward steps dance with visions of the past in full bloom all around you. The Prussian blue of the flower of old is blinding your sight -- it was so perfect...why did I have to pick it? Racing thoughts rival the sun's rays, eclipsing your judgement, Curiosity is getting sad and Captivation impatient, but this yearning to be closer to that Crimson overtakes it, now there's your old friend Regret standing outside the gate but it isn't too late to take a step forward and take a chance because at the end of the day, you know if you don't it will be a mistake, now your head is short circuiting and sparks are flying, gears grinding and round and round you go spiraling out of control; how pitiful is it knowing what you want yet convincing yourself otherwise.

A breath in, eyes open, and you see the Crimson light shined no differently despite the tempestuous tornado tearing through your thoughts. The sun shone no differently. The garden lived on. Easy is life. The real question appeared: How do you allow yourself to choose another when you wish you the first hadn't died?

It begins with a forgiveness.

A forgiveness to yourself for thinking that something with so many edges couldn't hurt you simply because you were the only one who could get close. A forgiveness for the flower of old that pricked you because it couldn't have known that it did -- it's just its nature. A forgiveness that allows you to move on without guilt because history has no place in the present world.

Allow the memory to live but do not allow it to manifest once more, it is an impossibility. Memories are meant to be just that, something fond to remember, but not cling to the fabric of, because it will never provide you with that same warmth as it did before. You'll just keep stretching it thinner and thinner until there is nothing left. Distorting the very image itself in the process. We must forgive ourselves of this because if we don't then we do not open our lives to new experiences where new warmth can be met and new memories made.

In a garden far and wide there is this one lonesome rose that sits embedded on a pedestal.With thoughts clear, Curiosity took a few more steps down the once again rose tinted cobblestone. Captivation welcomed Curiosity with opened arms, no thorns attached. The rose tinted atmosphere kissed each breath Curiosity expelled, the corners of your mouth tugged up, and for the first time in a long time you felt happiness and it's all began with a forgiveness.