Dancing To My Own Beat

Throughout highschool and college and my twenties really, I wasn’t much into music. Sure, I always liked music and have many nostalgic moments based on songs, but my experience was basically limited to Top 40 and Casey Kasem (pre-2000s). Nothing at the time really grabbed me in a life-altering sense. Actually, I found it rather boring - until I discovered many options beyond Top 40.

My life was changed by music starting when I was thirty. I’ll share with you, some of the songs that had the greatest impact on traversing my life’s path and influenced my choices from age thirty until now. I’ve included only ten songs. There are so many more, but these are the major highlights of my trajectory.

Tori Amos - Silent All These Years

I shall start with the artist who set me on the course to achieving a better life. She gave me the courage to leave my unfulfilling marriage and realize I was capable of going after the things I wanted. I didn’t have to settle, and my voice was valuable. I no longer needed to remain quiet.

And another from Tori Amos because I can’t pick just one. So many of her songs have resonated with me. Her lyrics gave me strength and the will to keep moving towards the future I envisioned.

Tori Amos - Spark

Train - She’s On Fire

One of the songs that kept me inspired and feeling strong, while spending a lot of time driving my truck after leaving my x. I felt empowered and independent.

Rascal Flatts - I'm Movin' On

The next moment came several months later with Rascal Flatts. Their song, Movie’ On brought me to tears often. It became an anthem for letting go of my old life and moving forward to embrace the new. I learned to be comfortable with the possibilities. Excited, even.

Lifehouse - Everything

With this song, I proclaimed love. Defining my new relationship with the man who would be - and still is happily - my husband. The guy who made me see that my voice was truly valuable, and my opinions worthy of being heard.

NonPoint - Mindtrip

After filling out a job application, I was forced into admitting the reality that my body was succumbing to the mobility and dexterity issues of my genetics. I went home and played it loud while sitting on the floor in front of the blaring speakers with my long hair hanging over my sobbing face and a strong whisky in hand. I realize now I was angry and grieving.

Keith Urban - Stupid Boy

This song came out a little later, but it was perfect in looking at the relationship with my x-husband in retrospect. It’s a song that still brings me to tears of anger and frustration and sadness for letting myself be treated that way for so long. It is also a song that brought me clarity and closure.

Shinedown - .45

Before my current husband and I were married, we attended a rock concert on one of our earliest dates. The headliner was Three Doors Down, but the performance we remember is “.45” by Shinedown, a warm-up band for them and pretty obscure at that point. It solidified our relationship, and firmly proved that I was finally moving in the right direction. It was the death and rebirth of this woman.

Styx - Crystal Ball

Styx is important because it represents the life my husband and I have made, as well as the creation of, and music appreciation of our daughter. She chose to see Styx for her first live concert. She came out of the womb rockin’. This song epitomizes how we can’t know the future, but we need to appreciate our options.

Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff

(WARNING - Offensive language and references)

And this last one, which is pretty in-your-face, has become a family theme song, introduced to us by our daughter after a recent questionable Mom-moment in the car on our way to a concert …

It reminds me to keep a sense of humor - we are all flawed.