With Love, Zinnia
Bio
"What if heaven and hell lies between our ears?"
Stories (9/0)
I'm Dreaming of a Vocal 2024.
Hmmmm...so many plans...so many resolutions...which to choose? Maybe I'll just write about my number one goal! Here, on Vocal, I plan to be just that- more vocal! I’ve always used my words typed or on paper to express all the jumbled up shenanigans going on in my head. It’s one of the ways i'm able to make life make sense to me…a sort of therapy in and of itself. I have plans to document my journey as a first-time mother-to-be, navigating her mid-20s and learning what kind of love to give and what kind to participate in. The idea seems relatable enough as there are millions if not billions in the same place as me. I used to want my whole life to be centered around fiction to the point where it became hard to exist in real time as a real person. Now, I think it's time that I step away from the Fae and imaginary men of my dreams and fall in love with being alive again..to fall in love with my own story again. And to top it off, what better place to do that than Vocal+?!
By With Love, Zinnia3 months ago in Writers
Dear me, thank you...
Dear Maxie, I'm sorry I've abused you for so long. I've loved everyone but you and I never even noticed that you were hurting until you almost silenced us both. The way I talk to you, the way I misuse your body, the way I always set you on fire for the sake of someone else being warm...it's damn near unforgivable. If I don't want another person to abuse you, what gives me the right to think that I can?
By With Love, Zinnia3 months ago in Poets
I Am Not a Rat
*As a disclaimer, 'rats' are not regular people with regular jobs. 'Rats' is a false perception that people are to be treated as test subjects, robots, or just another employee. Having a job and being alive is amazing. Loving your job and loving being alive is even more amazing. Rats don't get to experience that. I hope you do.*
By With Love, Zinnia12 months ago in Poets
Dear me, thank you...
Dear Maxie, I'm sorry I've abused you for so long. I've loved everyone but you and I never even noticed that you were hurting until you almost silenced us both. The way I talk to you, the way I misuse your body, the way I always set you on fire for the sake of someone else being warm...it's damn near unforgivable. If I don't want another person to abuse you, what gives me the right to think that I can?
By With Love, Zinnia2 years ago in Humans
When living is hard...
I can safely say that I HATE being an adult...for the most part. I'm not sure what the hell is happening in my mind that makes living so difficult. That's why I was taken to a psych ward this morning, because life has never taken so much of my strength before as it has these past few years. I've heard multiple times from multiple therapists that depression isn't supposed to last years...but what more could I do? I've stared my trauma in the face and then determined to not become a victim, I went to therapy and did the work, I let people around me know what was happening in my head for accountabilities sake, and I'm still getting harassed by my own thoughts. How do you separate yourself from the things that are causing you anxiety when it's you who's causing it? I scared myself so bad last night to the point where I had to stay on the phone with my sister until I fell asleep just because I didn't know if I'd wake up the next morning. I knew life could do this to a person, but no one told me life could do this to me.
By With Love, Zinnia2 years ago in Humans