Lifetime Review: 'The Boy She Met Online'
Dating as a teen is a tumultuous process, and it's even harder for teens in Lifetime films. It seems whenever a teen finds love in the Lifetimeverse, they're a unstable psychopath or a twisted sexual predator. It's not surprising that Lifetime is so commonly associated with the Soccer Mom division; most Lifetime movies involving teenagers basically double as cautionary tales to naive adolescents.
Lifetime Review: 'The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom'
Fifty Shades of Grey is essentially a Lifetime movie with nudity, more swearing, and made on a much higher budget. It has a plot that has many of the trappings of a Lifetime formula: a naive young woman falls in love with a mysterious yet handsome man, who quickly turns out to have many secrets in his past. Only differences: Christian Grey isn't a raving murderous lunatic and the series (to my knowledge) doesn't end with Anastasia escaping his clutches and ending the movie happily surrounded by family.
Lifetime Review: 'I Am Watching You'
With February being the month of Valentine's Day, I decided to dedicate a few reviews to what Lifetime Movie Network would refer to as "Tainted Love" movies. Regulars to the channel will know what this refers to: movies about love, sex, obsession, and all that goes on when infatuation turns deadly. "Tainted Love" movies are basically what would happen if Tim Burton directed Hallmark films (though with much lighter camera work).
Lifetime Review: '10 Year Reunion'
Can we all agree that slasher films are the best? There's no better way to get me in a good mood than to put me in front of a Friday the 13th marathon. The action is thrilling, the final girls/boys are badass, and the characters (no matter how thinly written or annoying they are) are usually bound to provide good banter until they end up on the killer's chopping block.
Lifetime Review: 'Psycho In-Law'
Getting married is often times a serious pain. There's deciding on decorations, finding enough money for food, and struggling not to pull your hair when dealing with your relatives. But to anyone suffering wedding blues, I offer up the perfect cure: watching Lifetime's Psycho In-Law. After this flick, you'll be counting your matrimonial blessings.
Lifetime Review: 'Girl Followed'
As a 19-year-old, I can say from experience that the teenage years can be a pain sometimes. The awkward transition from child to young adult is a steep one, and it is only further complicated by the troubles of high school; peer pressure, dating, and the tender subject of body image.
Lifetime Review: '16 and Missing'
Oh, Ashley Scott, it seems you can hardly catch a break when it comes to Lifetime movies. Before being cast in the schlock that was Fatal Defense, you were in this MarVista-made "thriller" where you had to deal with both a psychotic ephebophile and—even worse—a 16-year-old daughter!
Lifetime Review: 'Wrong Swipe'
NOW it's time to tackle one of the films at the bottom of MarVista's barrel. Mind you, I love MarVista; their films (even if everything else is terrible) provides me with attractive people and sets to admire and usually keep things moving consistently enough that I can watch and enjoy their movies.
Lifetime Review: 'Online Abduction'
Since I just spent my past two reviews praising Lifetime movies that take on the evils people use technology to commit, I thought it would be best to counteract them with a couple of films that show that not all Lifetime movies delving into the realm of cyberspace are always fantastic. I also feel like after the thorough bashing I gave to Blood, Sweat and Lies, I should remind my readers that not every product of MarVista Entertainment is a complete trainwreck.
Lifetime Review: 'Revenge Porn'
Released in 2016, Revenge Porn (alternately given the somewhat problematic title My Daughter's Disgrace) premiered right after Lifetime's much-hyped remake of one of their most classic movies, Mother, May I Sleep with Danger? If one looks at the tweets sent out regarding the movie, it seems the general consensus was that Revenge Porn was a lot more entertaining than the vampire-centric reboot. And no wonder; Revenge Porn not only is an entertaining yarn with a great cast to boot, it also carries the same underlying empowering message against slut-shaming.
Lifetime Review: 'Break-Up Nightmare'
A personal fact about myself: I don't care for people who say that social media is "ruining society." Life has been greatly enhanced by social media, as it allows to people who never would've met otherwise to connect quickly and efficiently, and has made several tasks such as banking and journalism quicker and more reliable (for the most part, but that's an argument for another venue). While Lifetime has gained a reputation for having several "anti-Internet" movies, I realize now that they've made it clear that it's not technology that's evil; it's certain people who utilize it that are.
Lifetime Review: 'Fatal Defense'
Since I talked about this Lifetime "thriller" from last year in my recent review of Blood, Sweat and Lies, one of 2018's first Lifetime premieres, I figured I could devote 600 words or more to talk about how bland and mediocre Fatal Defense was. And like with BSL, there's a hint of tragedy within the schlock, as Fatal Defense gave itself an opportunity to avoid the path to boredom—only to ignore it like a cinematic plague.