Teela is a Vancouver-based Sex Educator & Relationship Expert. Learn more at: https://exploresextalk.com/
How to Take Rejection With Grace
We all want to be considered attractive and awesome. It’s common to want people to look at you in a good light and this desire is amplified for the people that we admire. We want the attraction we feel to a person be returned. Sadly, this isn’t always the case. Rejection can feel pretty crummy! There are things we can do to help us remove the sting of rejection but there are also things we can do to try to take it more gracefully. That way, if we are rejected by our love interest, we can still shoot for the second-best-case scenario. A scenario that may not be possible if we are to take the rejection poorly.
What is a Safeword?
Have you ever heard the term safeword? It’s a common term in kinky and BDSM circles. It’s a way to communicate consent in ways other than using terms like, “no” or “stop”. The safeword system is a word or set of words that are agreed upon before engaging in sexual activity or entering the kink play scene. These words are used to signal that the scene is getting too intense or unwanted harm is likely to happen. It can be a great way to quickly check-in with your partner and make sure everything is still going well for them.
The Suffering Emotional Blackmailer
For many of us, it’s hard to witness suffering, particularly if it’s someone we love. Some kinds of emotional blackmailers take advantage of that and use it to manipulate us to their will. Enter the suffering emotional blackmailer. This type of emotional blackmailer really focuses on feeling miserable. They can seem sick, unhappy, or just plain unlucky but the only remedy they see is for us to give in to their will. If someone resists this, it quickly becomes apparent that their suffering is our fault. We are made to feel like the sole cause of their pain and discomfort and all because we said no or set a boundary.
Self-Punishing Emotional Blackmailer
Who would use the threat of self-punishment to get what they want? The truth is many people have tried it in various forms. Have you ever seen a kid in the middle of a tantrum who’s threatened to hold their breath until they turn blue unless the parent gives in? Did you ever do that as a kid? Most people have done this, experienced it, or both throughout their lives. The blue-faced threat is a very simple and obvious example of a self-punishing threat an emotional blackmailer would use. The threats used by an adult engaging in self-punishing emotional blackmail tend to be much more sophisticated but the foundational principle is the same. You give in to their demands or grave harm will befall them… and it will be your fault!
Tantalizing Emotional Blackmailer
Out of all the different types, the tantalizing emotional blackmailer is the most subtle. This type of abuser manipulates through the use of promises of great rewards for jumping through their hoops. The rewards can be anything from promises of money, career advancements, material possessions, or even the promise of their undivided attention, acceptance, and love. They will sometimes buffer this by making smaller concessions that are easy for them in order to keep the promise of the real prize feel like it’s within grasp. Whatever carrot the tantalizing emotional blackmailer dangles is something their victim never gets anywhere actually near. Instead, the victim jumps through a series of hoops and challenges to prove their worthiness, often without even realizing they are being emotionally blackmailed.
What is Menstruation?
Menstruation, commonly referred to as a period, is a part of the fertility process for vulvas. Once a cycle, the lining of the uterus prepares the possibility of pregnancy by filling the lining with thick and rich blood vessels. This rich lining provides support to a fertilized egg to begin growing into a fetus.
When Does Sex End?
When DOES sex end? Have you ever wondered about that? It may seem like a strange question but how we answer it makes quite a difference to the sexual satisfaction of some people. Our perceptions about what is the climax and completion of sexuality activity play a big role in what feels right to us. It also sets our expectations. Those expectations play a huge role in the interest people have in sex as well as how satisfied they are with sexual activities they participate in.
Is Sexual Orientation Nature? or Nurture?
Have you ever wondered if our sexual orientation is nature or nurture? The debate over sexual orientation is far from being a settled issue for many people. It’s a topic of heated debate and a lot of scientific exploration. At this point, we cannot pinpoint the exact roots of influence on sexual attraction. There are a lot of different theories and some really compelling evidence but it’s not a closed case just yet.
What Is Toxic Masculinity?
What do we mean when we are talking about “toxic masculinity“? Despite the recent attention to the term in the last few years, it actually was coined in the 1980s and 90s. The concept came about from various men participating in male-only workshops, drumming circles, and retreats to reconnect and redefine what the true nature of protective masculinity looks like. The concept of a single type of masculinity has actually been rejected since the last 1980s. There are many types of masculinity and most of them are not considered to be toxic.
Why Do I Always Get Rejected?
It can be hard to get rejected and often we don’t get to know why. People usually feel awkward turning someone else down and don’t want to add to the sting by hurting your feelings by saying why. So how can we grow as people if we never find out why we are always being turned down? Some of us want to continue to grow as people and be successful with people we’re attracted to. When faced with consistent rejection where we aren’t told why all we can do is some introspection to try to figure it out on our own.
How Do I Know If I'm Kinky?
Have you ever wanted to spice things up? Lots of people will say that kink and BDSM may be your answer. But how do you know if you’ll like it? How do you know if you are into anything kinky? There is definitely a right and a wrong way to get into BDSM. Some people end up having bad experiences because of entering into it the wrong way. Like so many other things in our world, a lack of knowledge on the subject can really burn you. Taking some time to learn a bit more is going to help steer you in the right direction! So what kinds of things should you know?
What is Contraceptive Injection?
Contraceptive injection is a form of hormonal birth control. It’s a shot that vulva people can get to prevent unwanted pregnancies. The shot is given in the arm or butt every twelve weeks. It’s sometimes referred to as the birth control shot. There are different brand names available but the most common and well known is the Depo-Provera Shot, also sometimes called the Depo Shot.