Sex Ed
Sex Ed

How Do I Know If I'm Kinky?

by Teela Hudak 4 months ago in advice

Questions to ask yourself

How Do I Know If I'm Kinky?

Have you ever wanted to spice things up? Lots of people will say that kink and BDSM may be your answer. But how do you know if you’ll like it? How do you know if you are into anything kinky? There is definitely a right and a wrong way to get into BDSM. Some people end up having bad experiences because of entering into it the wrong way. Like so many other things in our world, a lack of knowledge on the subject can really burn you. Taking some time to learn a bit more is going to help steer you in the right direction! So what kinds of things should you know?

Is Kink Always Extreme?

Many people are frightened or put off by the idea of kink because their minds go straight to extreme examples. These intense experiences are often highlighted in the media because they are unusual and considered bizarre. The highly unusual makes for better storytelling than things that are more mundane. So these extreme examples are often just that, extreme. They often don’t represent what is commonly found in many kinky communities. Just because some people are into it, doesn’t mean that everyone is into it!

One of the main appeals of kink is that it offers the opportunity to mix different kinds of sensations into a sensual context. People have a variety of unique tastes and interests. This can play out in a lot of different ways in the bedroom. While some people may enjoy sensations others would describe as painful, some forms of kink have nothing to do with pain at all. Activities are chosen based on the interest of those involved. No one has to consent to anything that they aren’t interested in, comfortable with, or don’t think that they’d like to try.

Deciding Which Kinky Activities Are For You

So how will you know what you’ll like? The answer to that question is extremely personal and you are going to be the best person to ask! Some people will have a general sense of things they find appealing. These may be ideas they’ve gotten from TV, movies, or literature or even a conversation with a close friend. They hear about something and there’s an immediate light of interest in their mind. These are often a good place to start. It can help steer you in the direction of types of kink that you will find appealing.

If you’re really not sure, don’t worry! You’re not alone! Sometimes people don’t know what they will like until they’ve learned about it or tried it. If you’re unsure then it’s a good idea to sit down and go through a Yes/No/Maybe List. What is that? The Yes/No/Maybe List is a list of kink and BDSM activities. There are plenty of them to be found online or in related books and they all vary depending on who generated them. Some lists will be simple and include a variety of more common kinks. Others will be long and more comprehensive in the diversity of activities. There is no right or wrong for what kind of list you choose. If this is all entirely new to you, you might want to consider going with a shorter and simpler list. If you complete that with ease, you might try finding a more detailed list.

Filling out a Yes/No/Maybe list is quite simple. You go through each activity one by one and take some time to consider it. If you think the activity is something you DEFINITELY want to try, you write a “Yes” next to it. If it’s something you’d never consider doing, write a “No”. The “maybe” is usually reserved for things that you’d either like more information on before making a decision. People can also use this choice to signify to themselves or others that they may have some conditions that need to be met for them to say yes to the activity. A completed list is a good first step to helping you decide what direction you wish to go. What kinky adventures await you?

Sexy Adventures Are Out There! Choose Your Own Story!

Exploring kink can be exciting and fun but it’s not for everyone and that’s ok! You may look into some of this stuff and decide that you aren’t kinky. There’s no harm or judgment in it either way. The whole point is to choose what appeals to you and your romantic partner. What makes you both happy? What makes you both satisfied? Ultimately that should be your sexy adventure! Whatever path you and your partner choose, just make sure that you both are communicating clearly and taking the steps to learn about any new activities so unwanted harm can be avoided.

advice
Teela Hudak
Teela Hudak
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Teela Hudak

Teela is a Vancouver-based Sex Educator & Relationship Expert. Learn more at: https://exploresextalk.com/

See all posts by Teela Hudak