The sun is out, I can feel the heat on my skin as I make my way to the top of the mountain. I look up and all I see are the fallen trees, piles of sticks, and rocks that have not been touched in years. There is no path up the mountain. I'm just going where my heart desires. I am using the trees to help me go up the hill and stop me from falling on my face. It is not a huge hill but it is big enough to get hurt if I fall. I am out of breath, as I stop mid-way and look at how far I made it. I realize it has not been as far as I thought, but it feels like forever that I have been walking up this hill. As I'm leaning on the tree, I take out my water bottle from my black backpack. I almost forgot I had it because my backpack was so light. I am sweating and breathing hard water is what I needed . I took a big gulp of water and exhaled hard, that was the best water I had. I was so thirsty I could feel my whole body come back to life. I continue to walk up the hill. I have only a couple of miles left in me before I need to turn around and go back home, as I'm walking up the hill I see a snake bright Orange and Black slither under a rock. I screamed because it was coming my way and I'm deathly afraid of snakes . I hurry and walk faster. I become paranoid of the ground and everything around me. My eyes are moving back and forth checking out my surroundings. I realize that I am the only person walking uphill, and my mind starts going crazy thinking about the worst things possible. Hunters hunting me, a squirrel attacking me, I lose my path and my mind. I look around and decide that I should probably head back down before the sun goes down. I make my way down the hill. It is way harder than going up. I am throwing myself from tree to tree to catch myself from rolling down the hill. This is probably the worst Idea I tell myself out loud as I head down. I hear a dog in the distance, I am now confused because dogs are not allowed in this area. I decided to ignore it but now I can hear the dog crying, so I decide to follow the cry. I am getting closer and closer with every step. I'm squinting my eyes and looking for the dog. After a while of walking in the woods everything starts to look like the same long full trees, the same plants. I feel like I'm walking in circles . I have been walking for about five minutes which feels like forever towards the sounds of the barks and cries of the dog. I finally see a small Golden Retriever all alone. I slowly approach him as he is sitting there all muddy and sad eyed, he is looking right at me, right into my soul. I go into my backpack and show him my water bottle he perked up. I gave him the rest of my water because he seemed so thirsty like he hadn't had any water in a long time, after that he got up and started walking away from me. I’m trying to catch up to him, but he is just a lot better at walking over sticks. I just stopped following him and tried calling him instead, so I just slouch my back and pat my thighs and make kissing noises towards him. He decides to just sit and tilt his head towards me. I thought it must be working, but he never came to me. He is just sitting looking at me .I am so confused. I told myself I am not leaving this mountain woods shit until he is somewhere safe. He starts walking again so casually, so I decided to start running towards him full speed with no consideration to the ground. I tripped on a rock and cut my knee so badly that I couldn't bend it. Ahh blood love the sight of it. I decided to take a break on the ground. The dog decides to sit and wait for me to get up. As we are sitting on the ground a lady with an oversized Black and White plaid shirt, Blue Jeans and two inch Black boots comes out of nowhere and scares the crap out of me, no hello or nothing. She is just happy that I found her dog and she says thank you for finding my puppy. I say no problem and she heads off while I stay on the ground. The lady swiftly turns around and yells out that she has a cabin just a few feet away and she can get me some more water and a snacks .I decide I should go with her because I’m out of water and the sun is going down and have no idea where I am. We make our way to the cabin. She tells me how her puppy likes to “run away” while she cleans. It's basically part of his routine to escape into the woods and explore until she goes looking for him. Very normal conversation, nothing felt out of the ordinary .We got to the cabin and it was really sketchy looking half of the roof looked like it was falling, the door were medal, the porch was closed off and it was all fenced in did not look like Pinterest cabins at all it looked straight out of a scary movie. She offered me to come in I declined the offer, but she insisted I go in ,so I did. In my mind I believe okay this is a typical scary movie where I go in and I die. Once I walked in, I was shocked because the inside was so pretty the outside didn't do it any justice at all. The inside looked like a modern house with a little bit of farmer's décor. I did not expect that at all. She expresses that she knows the outside looks like garbage, but it was the look she was going for. She wanted it to look creepy so people don’t feel the need to come near the cabin and feel a little threatened by it. She called it her “survival skill” because she lived alone in the middle of nowhere. That is so smart of an idea I say to her. It's late, the sun is down, and I have yet to make it home yet, she offers me a ride to the parking lot. I say yes, of course she has a truck.it was a 2005 Blue Dodge Dakota. I got my water and snacks and got into the truck. The ride was a little awkward but I had my water to save me from talking and making things more weird. We quickly got to the parking lot where my Blue Chevy Cavalier was waiting for me. I say thank you and get into my car and drive off waving goodbye, she smiles and waves back. A couple days later, I’m sitting on my balcony and I see a familiar Blue truck on the other side of the complex just parked sideways and someone is looking in my direction with binoculars. I go inside and peek out my bedroom window. I see her get out of her truck and walk towards my apartment. I can now confirm it is the same lady from the cabin because she is also wearing the same plaid shirt I met her in. I start freaking out and wondering what the heck is she doing spying on me. I am pissed and a little freaked out all at the same time. I have so many questions I need to ask her so I decided I should just confront her, by the time I go outside she is already gone, so I make my way back to her cabin in my car. The ride there I am thinking to myself what am I going to do to her? What approach should I take? What's her name? I can't believe I never got her name. I approached her cabin and there she was outside playing with her dog like she was never spying on me. I quickly get out of my car and politely ask her if she would like to go out for some food and she says no she already ate, so I just decided to ask her straight up “hey have you been spying on me think I saw you near my apartment?”. She gets very defensive and starts cursing are you freaking kidding me no I don’t have any time to do that you got the wrong person little girl, mind you I think we are the same age. I try to play it off as a joke I’m just kidding there was no one spying on me I just came to see if you wanted to get some food and last time I didn’t catch your name, she laughs and says oh my name is Lacey, nice to officially meet you Lacey I’m Wendy. I decided to just let it go and we start playing with the dog and two hours passes by and we are having a good time. Lacey Invites me in for some drinks and food because we just burned all the calories, she goes into the kitchen and I watch her pour me my cup of orange juice. I take a sip, the next thing I remember is waking up the next day from some deep sleep and feeling a little drowsy. No one was inside the house, so I decided to just leave because I didn't feel the greatest. On my way out Lacey is on the porch smoking a cigarette. I asked her if she feels fine, she said yeah, we just played so hard with the dog last night. you K.O. Lacey tells me. I say thank you and that I am going to head out. Lacey quickly says I shouldn’t leave because there is a tornado on the way and it's safer to stay here because she has a basement. I agree it is safer to stay here than to go back to my apartment, so I stay and we start talking and getting to know each other a little better. Her parents are rich and she hates that lifestyle. She wanted a place to get away from all the greed and “work” for everything she has instead of getting it from her parents and I respect that .Let's just ignore the fact that her parents gave her the money to build the cabin in the woods. The wind starts getting crazy and we decide to go to the basement. Once I get down there, I start looking around and notice some weird things like a hole in the ground and a door that says “keep out” with a little potion bottle on the sign. How original. I could not shake this negative energy she gave me while being in the basement. I pulled out my phone and sent my location to my sisters just in case anything happened to me. You can hear the crazy winds from outside. Lacey decided to go out and look at the tornado and see how far and what direction the tornado was taking .I stayed inside with the dog from a distance. I heard some yelling, but I did not go outside to check it out, because the wind alone sounded violent. It has been a couple minutes and Lacey is not back. I start to think the tornado ate her. I make my way back to the living room to wait for her to come back, because I was worried about her, and I'm also scared of her basement, out of nowhere she pops back up with some orange juice in her hand and says let's go back down to the basement. She tells me I should have stayed in the basement ,so we make our way down stairs. I stop mid way going down the stairs just to let Lacey know how much I appreciate our new friendship. I start to think of our time together and how lovely it's been and how nice of a human she is. She tells me to shut up and stop being so sappy and shoves the orange juice at me and tells me to drink it. I take a big sip and quickly I start to feel a weird sensation in my body. I look at her with fear in my eyes and this is the moment everything clicked for me. The oh shit moment. Everything started happening so quickly I was still able, so I quickly looked around and went to the nearest wall next to all the tools and grabbed a screwdriver. Lacey approaches me and whispers in my ear and says I know where you hide.. and I pass out. I don't know how long it's been but I wake up and my hands are zipped tied and feeling a little drowsy she is standing looking down at me. I'm confused. I am thinking people do not do this to me, I do this to them. I politely ask her for some water, so she goes up stairs and gets it for me. I quickly break out of the zip ties thanks to all the videos I watched on how to break out of zip ties. The adrenaline is rushing through my body. I can hear her coming down. I can't wait to see the shock on her face when she sees I freed myself out of the zip ties. It will be so predictable of her to be shocked, but she is not. She just laughs and laughs now I'm actually confused she just laughs and says you are such a scary cat it's just a big joke. I say what about the orange juice, she says she laced it with melatonin that's why you woke up feeling drowsy. I am pissed and I yell at her Lacey you think this is a fucking joke. she says “YEAH” all she said was yeah. I cannot believe my life right now. The anger inside of me was like no other in that moment without thinking I just pushed her into the Five foot hole that she had in the basement. At that moment I felt a sense of relief, a sense of home. I just knew we were going to be friends forever.
The Bare Minimum
We as people have a lot of practices, we practice being beautiful, being intelligent and we practice our talents all ways of showing ourselves self-love. Self-love is not being conceded or selfish. It is taking care of yourself in a crazy world, that is the bare minimum of what you can do for yourself despite what anyone has to say. You ought to do what you need to do for yourself always. Self-love is showing appreciation to yourself and giving yourself the respect, you deserve. If you are struggling with loving yourself here is a tip to help the love for yourself grow or become. You are the best thing in this world, treat yourself like it. You deserve to take yourself on dates single or taken. The best part of self-dating is that you do not need to be taken to go on dates. You should do it especially if you are in a relationship it will help with reminding yourself that you are a person who has individual purpose. If you are uncomfortable with doing things on your own start with places you have been with friends and do them on your own. Once you have done them and feel like you can do other things on your own you can start going to different places like going to the beach and having a picnic, going on a hike, or going to a fancy restaurant on your own. It will not be easy, but it will feel freeing and you will feel independent. You will stop caring what others think of you. You will look like a loner but in the best way possible, at first you will feel like all eyes are on you and people are judging you and it will feel uncomfortable, but over time you will learn people are happy for you and looking at you because they wish they can do things alone as well and have your confidence. Eventually you learn to appreciate the looks and stares and understand them, but if you are uncomfortable with stares you do not have to go out to take yourself on a date you can also do at home dates with yourself perhaps at home spa day, movie night, or backyard picnic. You do not have to spend money to take yourself out you can use what you have at home that is the best part about dating yourself. You can treat yourself to whatever you are in the mood for. Taking yourself out on a date also means you get to dress up or dress down depending on the occasion the time getting ready is just as important as the date. If you look good you will feel good and that will create the energy for the night so blast some music and dance around while getting ready wear something that you feel comfortable in but dress to impress for yourself it will help with the vibes that you need to go on your solo dates. Getting ready and taking yourself on these dates you will see your confidence grow and your independents shine through your soul. The number of things you will learn about yourself will be just as great but the memories you will create with yourself will be one of the best things to look back on happy self-dating.
You Should Always Tip Your Server
I have worked in a restaurant for Seven years as a prep worker in the kitchen, a host, and a server. A Couple years into working as a host I decide to take on serving. I got trained as good as I can with servers who were new, servers that have been there for years. They were all good at teaching me, but no matter how much training one gets, you do not learn how to serve until you are on your own, working busy shifts and learning how to multitask on your own, with that comes mistakes and patients. I was a couple days into serving on my own. I made some little mistakes as you do when you are learning something new. Things were going well until I got this one table who was just rude from the beginning. When it was time to pay. I made a mistake and accidentally swiped the gift card for $50 when the meal was only $38. I brought it back not realizing that I have done that. He realizes and starts yelling at me in front of all my tables he says, “You are trying to steal from me I am going to call the cops.” I say “I am sorry I am still learning I will have the manager fix that for you I’m so sorry.” It was an honest mistake, and an easy one to fix as well, but before I got to leave the table to tell my manager the situation , he made sure to let me know that I was dumb, not good at math, and I should never be a server again. That whole time he was yelling at me I was holding back my tears. Once I got to my manager, I tried to tell him what was going on, tears were running down my face, he fixes it goes to the table and apologizes as well, obviously he does not leave a tip for me. I still had to attend to my other tables, and I remember that they all said sorry to me for having to deal with people like him and left me a good tip. The tips were nice that day, but his words affected me every day and made me believe I was dumb and should not be a server. A Couple days pass after this incident and I decided that I hated serving and it just was not for me and went back to working in the kitchen and as a host. In that short time of serving I learned that the servers must deal with a lot of different personalities and a lot of behind the scenes to make your experience great. I think you should always tip a server at least 15% if it is okay, 18% if its good and 20% if it was great, because regardless if the service was good or bad I’m 100% sure the server tried their best to make your experience good even if mistakes were made. Servers beat themselves up more than you think, when mistakes are made, because of how much it slows them down and impacts everyone’s service. They are humans who have good and bad days just like you. Servers do work for tips they make about $6 an hour plus tips. Some of you will say they should go get a job that makes minimum wage and stop relying on tips, but that is not their reality and serving may be all they know. If you go to a restaurant with the intention of not tipping you should consider the other options like ordering to-go or going to a fast food restaurant. Not tipping your server for the service they gave you can be discouraging, and why would you want to discourage anyone?
Saving Money in the Name of Makeup
Makeup is such a great way to show your creativity and help build your confidence but most importantly it is fun with many different colors and products to use for every part of the face. Having this hobby of buying makeup can get very expensive, because high-end and low-end brands are always coming out with new products every day. It is an addiction buying new products every time brands come out with new makeup or skincare products because you are either attracted to the brand, packaging, formula or perhaps you want to support a YouTube influencer that has created a makeup palette. Financially it is not a good idea to always buy that makeup palette, or the under eye cream that just came out. If you are someone who struggles financially, but also want to try different makeup brands, I recommend a $10 makeup subscription box. If you are a beginner, and still learning what works best with your skin, the $10 one would be perfect because it usually comes with small sample sizes of makeup and skincare products and you can learn what works for you without having to spend so much money. If you are a die-hard makeup lover and have a bit of extra spending money, I would suggest the $21 subscription box because, you will get to try about five to six full size makeup and skincare products that you have or have never heard of with a value of over $100, and you can also get points and get some free samples just by leaving a review on a product. The best part about a subscription box is it feels like a gift every time you receive one in the mail. If you are not interested in waiting for the products in the mail, I have a solution for you. It’s the biggest secret of the makeup world. It is going to a store, but not your average Ulta Beauty or Sephora store. It’s going to your local Marshalls, T.J. Maxx, Ross or Burlington Coat Factory, they have lots of high-end brands like Too Faced, NARS, and Clinique that are not selling well, or companies that have over stocked. Most of the products there are well-known brands and will save you about 50% of your money shopping at any of these stores. Couple of tips I suggest when buying from these kinds of stores is to always check and see if anyone else used the makeup before, or if it is broken or unsealed. You will be able to tell right away once you open to see, always check before you buy the item to save you some time of having to return it later on. Check the clearance section and the lower shelves, because that’s where the good brands are hiding. Also the best makeup is always by the checkout line depending on which store. Shop around and remember to check the original price online while in the store, because what they have priced on the makeup product can be off by a couple of dollars, and you can see how much money you are really saving. Once you start shopping at Marshals or T.J. Maxx you will never go back to your normal store to buy any makeup product or skin care for full price. Because of this makeup secret not only will you stop spending so much money, you will save so much money, and feel a lot more comfortable buying so much makeup that you already love for such a better price without having to compromise the quality of the makeup product and your hard-earned money.
In the Darkness
My thoughts have became my reality. I am lost but I am right here. Lost in a fantasy that only exist in my brain no one knows I’m there. It’s becoming so dark that only at night there is light. The moon is looking at me telling me that it is day so I’m up all night and I’m ready for the day. Yet I don’t move because my bed is also yelling at me to stay. I’m confused on what should I do ? Start my project or should I lay and think about all of my bad days both sound good but I’m tired so I’m just lay. I’m here only sometimes I really don’t know what to say. I don’t like you and I don’t want you to stay. I exhale because you are in my way where should I put you ? Because I really don’t want you Stay. Some don’t understand what I’m trying to say that’s okay because you are the only one who willing to listen.