Paige Graffunder
Bio
Paige is a published author and a cannabis industry professional in Seattle. She is also a contributor to several local publications around the city, focused on interpersonal interactions, poetry, and social commentary.
Stories (99/0)
Desperate for the Need to Rise
I live in Seattle. That means during the winter it will rain almost every day, and the sun doesn't rise until after 7 AM and sets at 4 PM. This is only November, so as the year progresses towards the solstice, the daylight hours will only get shorter. I work extremely long hours as well, so I am in darkness for two to four hours before the sun rises, and am often at work four to six hours after it sets. During the winter months, I live my life in the damp dark embrace of my city. I love it here and wouldn't trade even this for anywhere else in the world. But on days like today, weeks like this week, when sleep is a precious commodity I am not taking advantage of, and the worries of my mind press close, it is hard to be cheerful in the absence of the light. I am sure that there are others struggling similarly, and so I thought I would give you five things that help me stay afloat—when the world goes dark and the only constant is the rain.
By Paige Graffunder5 years ago in Psyche
Farewell, Stan Lee
The multi-verse weeps today. A mind so full of wonder and ideas winked out. Stan Lee has died. No more cameos, no more surprise comic signings at tiny events. A lot of my heroes have died in recent years. Robin Williams, Alan Rickman, Prince, Carrie Fisher, Maya Angelou, Chester Bennington, Chris Cornell, the list seems endless. But this one, this one seems so much worse for me. It wasn't one role, one character, one moment. It was so many, so many characters that emboldened me and others to do good, be good, answer to an authority of morals not laws. To experience companionship. How many nights did I lay awake with a flashlight under the covers reading Thor? The Amazing Spiderman? Captain America? His characters faced choices and circumstances, that were macrocosms of our life. Captain America, rebelling against the Superhuman Registration Act. Professor X, unwilling to see the truth about his closest friend. Spiderman choosing to be selfish in a moment, and costing himself everything. These are big events, that when taken into the scope of a non-hero can be really relevant. Protesting in the streets opposing the treatment of migrants, choosing to remove yourself from a toxic friendship, thinking twice about acting out of spite.
By Paige Graffunder5 years ago in Geeks
Am I Listening Actively or Centering
It is so easy to trip over yourself when your entire life is ruled by one overpowering emotion: Anxiety. I, like many of my generation, suffer from an anxiety disorder, and while mine is slightly more intense than the average bear (Tourette's Syndrome) that doesn't mean that the things I experience are any different than anyone else suffering from other anxiety disorders, I just may experience them with different intensity.
By Paige Graffunder5 years ago in Psyche
Five Things for Every Femme in STEM
Being a femme in a STEM field is a special kind of hell. You have to work twice as hard from the moment you decide to dedicate yourself to your field, in school, in social circles, the job hunt, and at work. I am sure that there will be some haters for this topic because there always are. There is always someone screaming that the gender divide has been bridged, but as a femme in STEM I can tell you, from first hand experience and statistical data that sexism is still very much alive, and in action every single day.
By Paige Graffunder5 years ago in Viva
The Art of Releasing Expectation
How many times have we gone into a situation with an expectation, only to discover how very wrong we were? Walking into a job that you expect to be straight forward, and discovering it is very convoluted. Walking into a date with the expectation that it will go well, only to have it tank horribly. Expecting your sports team to win, your tax return to be high, and life in general to be something comprehensible. We have all heard the pessimist's argument, "I expect the worst, so when it doesn't happen I am pleasantly surprised. I don't think this is the right approach either. I want to explore what I mean when I say "expect nothing" and how this approach has helped me in my personal, and professional life.
By Paige Graffunder5 years ago in Motivation
Remembering the Good
When I talk about my past relationships I usually end up talking about how they ended. Despite my attempts to always go forth in all things in kindness, most of my relationships have ended badly. So in talking about the ends only, I often am most frequently remembering the bad parts exclusively. I don't think that is a fair thing to do, either to myself, my audience, or the people I have loved. This maybe an exercise in futility, but it is a labor I am willing to complete for the sake of shedding some light on myself, my behaviors, and also to remember that despite how things ended each person that has come in and out of my life has been worthy of love, not just from me but from others as well.
By Paige Graffunder5 years ago in Humans
The Curse of the Omnivert
For a long time, it was assumed that there were only two types of people. You were either an introvert or an extrovert. To the surprise of no one, like gender, it turns out our personality types are also a spectrum. With the addition of Ambivert and Omnivert as blurred middle grounds, it gives people like me (omnivert) a place that feels a little more familiar.
By Paige Graffunder5 years ago in Humans
The Fundamental Shift in the Definition of Community
When I was a kid my community was my family. My siblings, parents, grandparents. My aunts and uncles, cousins, and all that extended outward. Less a family tree, and more two very intricate and complicated mandalas that touched in only one point. My parents were married only briefly, and I was the only child produced. Both families have complicated histories, dark secrets, and uproarious laughter that is contagious, no matter what mood you are in. I love my family, and in many ways they are still my community, but as I have gotten older, I have drifted away in search of independence, and a place to find myself, and I have ended up roughly 3500 miles away from everyone save a scattered few that I share kinship with. When I was little, if I had a problem, I reached out to these people for love and comfort. For aid and succor. And while they didn't always deliver in ways that I expected, I never was left alone in my struggles. There was always someone, at least one person who would demonstrate compassion, and help me, even when the rest of them thought I was being a brat.
By Paige Graffunder5 years ago in Humans
An Open Letter to the Femmes Who Walked Through Fire
To All The Femmes Who Have Walked Through Fire, I suppose I should start this open letter with an explanation of what I mean when I say, "walked through fire." Any woman who has ever experienced trauma. This is for the femme identified people who have faced death of a loved one, sexual assault, abusive relationships, sexism in the work place, sexism in the home place, discrimination based on race, religion, gender, or orientation. This is a letter for all my female identified, or socialized people who have ever felt shame for existing, felt that they needed to be more than they are to be worthy, and less than they are to be loved. To all my femmes who have ever held their tongue in the face of a rape joke for fear of retaliation. Who have smiled at a street harasser, or who have lied to protect their abuser. I see you.
By Paige Graffunder5 years ago in Viva
The Five Things Every Femme Should Own
When I originally developed this list in my early 20s, I had relegated it just to "women," but as the science points to gender and sex as a spectrum, I've figured "femme" would be the most inclusive. These are my personal opinions, and therefore, more like guidelines than actual rules.
By Paige Graffunder5 years ago in Viva
Making Friends with Benefits Work
The concept of the nuclear family is a relatively new one, but it has taken roots in America in a way that is decidedly opposed to any other relationship dynamic. There has been a recent uptick in acceptance of polyamory, and other "nontraditional" relationship dynamics, which is good to see. However, I have noticed that the topic of friends with benefits is one of those things that most of us has done a time or two, but there really aren't many resources into making those types of arrangements sustainable, or as a replacement for our traditional sense of the relationship paradigm.
By Paige Graffunder5 years ago in Humans