Society places a lot of emphasis on orgasms. We’re meant to orgasm easily, every time we have sex, and, preferably, at the same time as our sex partner. As a sex therapist, I’ve seen first-hand how sexual ideals like these not only make sex more complicated – they also create sexual issues, like female difficulty achieving orgasm.
The beginnings of relationships are often thought of as the best. There’s lots of sex, talking, bonding, sharing, and staring into each other’s eyes. It’s a highly intoxicating period of time that is nothing short of magical when we’re in the thick of it – and its addictive nature seems to explain why sexual desire is strong at the beginning of relationships.
Long monogamous relationships are, for many of us, the goal. We want to be fulfilled by our bond and nourished by our connection. But long relationships are hard. And, if not looked after properly, they turn stale and boring. To keep your relationship alive and exciting it’s important to keep on connecting – every day.
You thought your partner loved being caressed in the kitchen, but they don't. They thought you liked their mother-in-law's quiche, but they were wrong. Misunderstandings - they happen to the best of us - and cause problems, which explains why communication is so important in relationships.
We’re not always aware of it – but negative emotions during sex can pop up when we least expect them to – ridding sex of pleasure and enjoyment.
Decreased sex drive, impotence or difficulty having an orgasm are three of the most common reasons people seek sex therapy. One thing that’s become clear to me, as a clinical sexologist, is how often people mistake some sexual problems for other sexual problems.