the rantings and ramblings of an inconstant mind.
love and loathing in girlhood
Every time I see a piece of media about womanhood or girlishness or femininity or a plethora of other descriptors for the endlessly free yet consciously limited experience of girls it often falls into one of two categories. Firstly, it could be a criticism of women as bitchy and competitive and snide, condemning us for our gossip and frivolous interests. The second category is a retaliation to this, an attempt to manufacture proof of the appreciation and deep care that girls share for each other. It fully rejects the idea that we could ever be anything but kind and loving and maternal towards absolutely everything. Girls are either ruthless monsters who devour everyone in their path and cannibalise each other, or we must shit sunshine and cuddle our equally radiant friends in fields of strawberries watered with white wine. If it is not yet apparent, I think that subscribing to either of these ideas is a reductive way of thinking about womanhood. Though, I am also very conflicted about my female friendships. I don't always think that my girls are infallible, amazing people, but I don't not love them and I'm distraught to be leaving many of them all too soon. Each time I sort through my memories of us I am left with a confusion as to how we are friends and an oceanic appreciation that we still are.
a younger girl's bedroom window
One day this bright plain view from my bedroom window will leave me feeling incomplete. I will come to my parents house for the weekend, and that is how I'll refer to it, their house, not home, and I'll sit here. My feet will push on the windowsill and maybe then the windowsill will push back against this misshapen stranger. I will look out and for the first time realise that there are blank spaces between the houses, where I could have sworn there were trees I had once longed to climb but as I am documenting right now there are not. I will for the first time realise that the hill isn't very steep and I could have sworn it used to feel like a mountain but as I am documenting right now it has always been a gentle slope, coaxing me down on my scooter and then on my bike and then on my skateboard and finally in my car that does not care for it's mighty gradient. I could have sworn a thousand little differences but as I am documenting right now the house and the view will not be the things that change. I will perhaps for the first time notice how the compost bins look a bit like Daleks and I will congratulate myself on this nugget of childlike inspiration I have kept with me, forgetting that I noticed that same thing when I was 7 and childlike was my whole being. I will perhaps remember the parakeets that made their yearly migration back here, more loyal to this garden than me, who will likely live across the globe and return increasingly infrequently. I will perhaps fail to realise how their vibrant green has faded slightly since I was a child. I will feel dizzy and incomplete at the realisation that I am no longer a part of this place that is all too happy without me.
YOU Season 4: A Satire of Satire
Spoiler Warning! Joe Goldberg, as much as he'd like to convince us that this isn't the case, lacks self awareness. Obviously. He is always telling us what a good guy he is, and how none of this was meant to happen, and that he's trying to change, but we know that people don't trip up and accidentally murder (nearly) all of their romantic partners, plus a few extra for good luck.
Write the story
As someone who is very early on in their writing journey, I often feel like my skills do not match my ideas. I get an idea which, at the time of conception, feels like the greatest idea I will possibly ever have. This idea is precious, it must be handled with silk gloves and kept in a temperature controlled room with a team of bodyguards so no one can ever touch it and taint it. I cannot even touch this idea, and attempt to turn it into something more than just a thought, because I am not worthy of it yet.
Feminist discourse is increasingly easy to get involved in. Due to the rise of social media and the internet, anyone can have their say from anywhere. I could be taken as an example of this: sitting in my bedroom, typing away about my opinions on everything. Myself, along with many other teenagers, have found feminist discourse to be interwoven with every type of media- most prominently on TikTok. I know I have a tendency to relate many cultural phenomena back to this app, but (especially for teenagers) the impact it has had on many aspects of life cannot be underestimated.
Why 'Harry's House' feels underwhelming
'Harry's House' is the much anticipated 3rd solo album from Harry Styles. With song names like 'Little Freak' and lyrics like 'choke her with a sea view' being leaked in the week building up to the album's release, fans were expecting Medicine and Kiwi-esque sexually-charged rock songs. Theories of him returning to the sound of his debut solo album were circulating, which contained a mix of rock and ballads with the occasional softer sound to solidify his comeback.
Still thinking about the 2019 Met Gala.
Despite the 2022 Gala right on the horizon, I am forever stuck in the hell that is 2019 Met Gala discourse. The theme was 'Camp: Notes on Fashion', and the outfits ranged from bland to outlandish, from wearing plain suits to having 4 costume changes (with an umbrella?!). "What is 'camp'?", we all exclaimed. 'Can I just look vaguely stereotypically gay?', they asked. 'Will some frills and a splash of pink work?', 'I thought it meant we were going camping?'
- Top Story - January 2022
The Gone Girl RevivalTop Story - January 2022
Spoiler warning! Gone Girl, both the book and the movie, have seen a resurgence in the past six months or so. Snippets of the 'Cool Girl Monologue' have been floating around Tiktok, and aesthetic images of Amy Dunne are appearing on Instagram, with captions claiming 'she did nothing wrong'. Of course, with lockdown it was inevitable that many movies would find many new viewers, particularly films that were very popular when they first came out, but there has been a certain added attraction to movies with highly gender-based commentaries: American Psycho, Fight Club, and Gone Girl, to name a few. The reasons for this Gone Girl resurgence in particular are a complex tale of anger, counter-movement and irony.
'Don't Look Up' and the terrifying reality of corruption
Powerlessness is the overwhelming emotion I feel when I think about climate change. Fighting against a corrupt government, lobbying corporations, and misinformation will always be an uphill battle- as shown by the new film 'Don't Look Up'
'All Too Well (10 minute version) Analysed
With the release of the 10 minute version of All Too Well, us Swifties have been gifted new lyrics to pick apart, and pick apart we shall. In case you are unfamiliar, it details the breakdown of her relationship with actor Jake Gyllenhaal in an emotional outpour more potent than any other breakup song- and I would argue this song, like many of her others, are much more than your bog-standard breakup song. Miss Swift has an uncanny ability for storytelling, giving a full insight into both her emotions, and the surrounding context.
Pride Month and other profitable movements.
Every June pride month rolls around and big companies are quick to jump on the bandwagon. As they release their merchandise people are even quicker to criticise them, and 'Rainbow Capitalism' as a whole. The first thing I saw when going on Pinterest to look for the flag photo was 'Pride Month Shop', and if that doesn't illustrate how commodified this movement has become, I don't know what will.