Disney Tinder Turns Ugly
#MyWorstDate When I think of my worst ever dating experience, several memories flash in my mind like a highlight reel. There was the time a guy announced his infertility before the starter had even arrived, the guy who showed me the 12 inch designer blade he had in his glove compartment, the guy who asked me for petrol money after dropping me home... but when I think of THE worst experience ever, there can only be one.
- Top Story - November 2017
Shoutout to the Single DadsTop Story - November 2017
Single Mum Survival Special: A Shoutout to the Single Dads Let's face it. Dads have got a bad rep. Let's be honest about it too, some women would have been better off going to Sweden and getting themselves a nice sperm donor (good genes without the hassle). Countless baby daddies are jumping from woman to woman like grasshoppers, siring children they don't give a second thought to once they've left. Maybe one day they will grow fat and bald, and the inadequacy of impotency may find them sitting in their armchairs thinking "I wonder how my son is doing?" They may make a somewhat feeble attempt to communicate with their various progeny out of guilt, to find themselves talking with a fully grown man or woman that doesn't want to know them. Stepfathers are walking stepdaughters down the isle in the absence of their biological parent, sons are growing up without a father figure and a single mother trying to make ends meet. It's easy to see why vitriolic abuse is hurled at these men. Yet the absentee father overshadows a very different kind of man. The single dad; he is the man who steps up, takes on the burden of playing both roles, and effectively too. He is the silent worker bee, tying up his daughter's hair before school.
Make Like Fergie and Get Back Your MILF Money 🍼💸
My current look is something like the "after" picture in a Don't do Meth campaign. I look like I literally reside in a dustbin. It wasn't always this way, in fact I used to have a shelf full of high end make-up and never left the house without GHDing the shit out of my hair. Now it's a quick spray of dry shampoo and I'm good to go. I've perfected the art of showering in a nanosecond, and I've learned how to make baggy jumpers work for me. I have moments of inspiration where I resolve to put a full face of makeup on every day and stick to a skincare routine for more than a week, but I always relapse. I need beauty rehab if there's such a thing.
I'm Going to Get on Your Every Last Nerve Until You Stop Judging Me
I'm going to get on your every last nerve until you stop judging me and you better believe it. We all go through our day with a million little judgements. The person at the checkout was rude, that girl you work with is a stuck up bitch, the guy sitting next to you on the train smells. The list could go on, but you can save it for the internal monologue. It's not that I'm interested. Mild discrepancy is acceptable, we are only human after all. To judge an entire group of people based on a singular aspect of their lives however, generally falls into one of the "isms." You know those widely unacceptable and quite disgusting notions that cause human beings to generalise and discriminate, you know things like racism or sexism.
Single Mum Survival at Christmas
As the Christmas season is upon us we find that it is required to go to the shops and buy other people gifts and suchlike. It is required that we attend social events and smile nicely. It is required we do all manner of things to make Christmas go smoothly. Here's a list of Do's and Don'ts for Yuletide cheer. 🎅🏻🎄
Sex and the City Plus Kids
It may be a while since you have dated, or you may be new to the single mummy dating scene but rest assured we have you covered! Dig out the clothes that aren't covered in dried Heinz tomato soup and get some lipstick on! You will probably want to go home after an hour but dating is a good way to fill up one's time on occasion, plus it's a chance to talk about current events instead of your child's invisible best friend Rosie. Make sure to have several Nesquick bars stuffed into your handbag just in case he takes you somewhere quirky (read: tiny food portions) and don't forget to put on deodorant (sometimes I don't bother, he can like it or lump it).
The Types of Men that Won't Date Single Mothers
When you are dating, you have a set list of preferences in your head. It could be "tall" "nice career" "non smoker." However, we sometimes meet someone who doesn't fit the mould and somehow we find ourselves attracted to them, despite our "checklist."
No Matter What He Did, Forgive Him
Let's be honest. Woman to woman. Single mum to single mum. More often than not he did you wrong. He hurt you in ways that you could only imagine a person could be hurt. Maybe you hurt him, too. Maybe you spent a decade or more hurting each other. Maybe he hurt you because he left. Maybe he cheated on you when he promised you were the only one for him. Maybe he was abusive. Maybe he took your identity and ripped it to shreds. This story is for anyone who's been abused, this story is for anyone who sits alone at night filled with resentment.
The Men You Will Date as a Single Mother
***DISCLAIMER - I have not slept with/dated all of these men and introduced them to my child. This article is for ENTERTAINMENT purposes only!! If you are offended by anything you see here please refer to a dictionary and look up the word "entertainment." That being said it has an element of truth. You are not required to date all of these men and not all blondes are dumb. Thank you for your time.****
"I'm Sick of Reading About Anxiety"
"Oh great," you say, as you scroll along the newsfeed and see another annoying post about anxiety and "raising awareness." It's just a bunch of millennials who are wet behind the ears right? Everyone's jumping on the mental health bandwagon these days. It's trendy to have anxiety. Why can't they just get over it?
Life in 2050
2017 has given the planet its fair share of miseries and it's hard not to imagine oneself in the distant future, far away from the incessant click of phones and barrage of selfies (including my own, check my selfie it's my best yet). Technology and AI are making great leaps and bounds. The first female robot has been given citizenship of Saudi Arabia and you now have the option of consulting your doctor from your phone. For some reason the Conservative party still wants to remain in 1500 but that's ok, like climate change deniers it's likely they will catch up to the rest of the population in a century or so.