The Thing about Angels ….
The Thing About Angels……. There has been a lot written about Angels so at first I thought what’s the point? No….that’s a lie. At first the title came to me and then I thought there has been so much written about Angels what’s the point? And that is the point. To go with that initial nudge and not let it be clouded with ‘human’ judgement. The angels would not entertain a negative thought and nor should you. That was not what I wanted to write. Should. But it is as if when I write something else takes over. But angels wouldn’t say should. Hmmmm. It’s taken me years to sort this one out, what is my inner voice and what is angelic communication. You see I can communicate with angels. How do I know? How do I know it is not my imagination? Because it started happening long before it was popular. I was drawn to angels. I felt them. I knew they were there and through a series of coincidences started to open up to them. So when I say they wouldn’t have a negative thought I say that because it took a long time to get in to the right ‘space’ to communicate with them. Although they are there when you are in a negative space at the time when you most need them they work on a very different, lighter vibration so when you are in the dense fog of negative thinking and all the thought forms we pick up on this planet it is hard for them to get through. I guess that was one of the reasons I stopped drinking. To clear my vibration. Anyway this may not make sense. Of course the words make sense but some people may not know what I mean by vibration. It is almost like the frequency we resonate at. Like a radio station. The vibe you put out is what you attract. So I have been working for a long time on my ‘vibe’. Our vibe gets clogged up with all sorts of things, often pain from our past and even past lives. So how do we clear it? By listening. Listening to that inner guidance. Which slowly reveals the roadmap but we all get so caught up with ‘worldly’ things that we don’t listen. Well, Mother Earth has got our attention now!! But a lot of people will not know how to listen so that’s why I am writing this. I didn’t know this when I started the article but that’s how it works. I have become a channel. I get daily angelic guidance. Did you know that the angels cannot help unless you ask? So I guess that was when it first happened. I started asking for help. Something in me just knew there was something else out there, up there. At the time friends and family thought I was completely bonkers. As I had my spiritual awakening in the 80s. It’s been a long wait. Till now. But something in me always knew this was coming. Not necessarily the pandemic. But the global fear as the planet awakens to a new level of consciousness and returns to love. What does that mean? Well, in my twenties I had my spiritual awakening where I realised I was not who I thought I was. The girl from Maidenhead who wanted to be an actress. I knew stuff. It was scary. Not knowing who I was anymore and I began a long and involved spiritual journey culminating in a realisation at 30 that what is happening on the planet now was going to happen and I had come to here to help. It was mindblowing. And no one believed me apart from one friend who could see what I saw. Were we both mad? It certainly felt like it. Having all this ‘knowledge’ and no proof. But it wouldn’t stop . The guidance. The ‘knowing’. So over the years I learned to work with it. Then I continued to meet people along every step of the way who were ‘believers’. And I deepened my connection to the angelic realms. That is a long story and would be for another time but I guess the essence of this story and the message the angels want out there is this. They do exist and if you ask for help they can give it. Are waiting to give it. As we sit in pain and turmoil there are thousands of lightworkers and angels assisting the planet. So how do you communicate with your angel? I have found the most effective way is to be quiet and believe. As I say they work on a higher vibration so if we are anxious or worried or negative it is harder to connect as that is not their ‘vibe’. Obviously we are on a different vibe but the more you communicate with them the lighter your vibe gets and that is how they help. A bit chicken and egg, really. How do you get to them of you are on a low vibe? If you sit quietly and try to calm your mind and believe they will do the rest. It may take months, years even but slowly you will see and feel the difference. A whole new world starts opening up . Clearing or facing the fear with their help and attracting more and more love and abundance. Problems solved, issues resolved from a higher perspective, money flowing to you just when you need it and a feeling of being protected and loved. Finally you know there is literally nothing to be afraid of. Once you learn the angelic world you become able to protect yourself energetically from all negativity and if you do encounter something negative they will guide you to the reason. It could be from a past life, or something you need to learn. You see we are all on a journey and we chose to be on this planet at this time for this huge awakening. And angels can lighten our load. So try it. Sit quietly and ask. Ask, Believe, Receive. And trust the answer that you get. It may take time, you may doubt it at first. But persevere and they will lead you home.
From Surviving to Thriving
So, where do I start ? I've tried to write a book about it so many times but there is too much. So I guess it's best to strip it back to basics. Which is what I am doing right now. In lockdown. I had basically been retreating for about a year before lockdown. I was done. At age 15 I was diagnosed with scoliosis - curvature of the spine. It's a long story which I finally got round to writing last year. You see, the pain had caught up with me. Both emotional and physical. So I started writing about it, having thought I had 'dealt' with it. How could I have been so wrong? What I had done was 'got over it'. Because in the end you have no choice much as I have always fought that philiosophy and now that I am training as a therapist, I can see I was right to fight. I have always been a rebel but have calmed down alot now.....sort of. Anyway, the point is I was given the choice to wear a back brace or have an operation. I opted for the operation and as a naive 15 year old went to the pub to celebrate, thinking great now I don't have to look stupid in front of my mates. The operation went wrong. Not only did I wake up in the dark in excruciating pain having no idea where I was but when I finally did sit up ten days later the shooting pain in my left leg was agony. Not to mention the lasting effect it had on my relationship with my parents and the fact that whenever anything went wrong in my life my mother would put it down to 'that terrible operation'. When I walked with a limp the surgeon said it was a bruised nerve and would get better in 18 months. It didn't and now at 53 my foot has dropped and the limp is permanent and due to difficulty I have taking exercise it has meant that the final assault on my body of the menopause after years of trying to be 'inspirational' and 'get on with it' has brought me to my knees. You see.....I was already in recovery. I was already trying to 'be inspirational' as I have been recovering from a drink problem since I was thirty. Well, at least I thought it was a drink problem. It seems it was a 'life' problem and yet people see me as warm, friendly, real, authentic and giving. Hmmmm. It's taken a while to unravel the knots. So what is my point? Pause. I do too much thinking. Is that because of my back and the fact that I can't walk well so have found refuge in writing? Or is it because my spiritual path has lead me to this and my writing? Very complex and no matter how much I write I can't get to the bottom of it but I keep writing. There are so many things I have learned along the way. I guess one of them is writing needs an audience. What is the point of going through all this if you can't help people with it ? But I don't want to be a cliche. Someone who triumphs over adversity to help others. It's not that I don't want to help others but to me writing doesn't work like that. Writing is a healing tool. A place to find one's truth. A place to recover. And if it helps people, great. But there are so many potential 'traps' in recovery. I don't want to be cynical and have actually been able to realise gratitude for what you do have is so important. And I have so much. I was lucky enough to give birth to the most beautiful daughter who has brought so much love and happiness in to my life and healed so many wounds. I have always said if I had the choice between walking properly and having her I would choose her but it has been tough. Not just because of my back but because my personality in general is just so damn tricky!! So we are back to unravelling knots .....what am I trying to say? The title is from surviving to thriving. I have survived alot. After my operation I went to drama school as I had always desperately wanted to be an actress and saw no point in waiting until I was 18. I guess the clue is in the word desperate. Outwardly I had it all going for me. I was attractive, intelligent, talented, rich from adverts I had done as a kid, and hopeful even after the hidden trauma of my operation that I put a brave face on and acted my way through. But it caught up with me. As did the disappointment. The broken relationships, the escape in to drink, the not understanding with all these talents why I couldn't 'make it' in life, the spiritual breakthrough, the incredible pain, the feeling lost, the being checked in to a treatment centre, thinking 'I don't belong here.......I am supposed to be a famous actress by now'. The journey continued. Good and bad. If we choose to judge it like that. And maybe that is the problem. How we 'judge' or percieve our journey. So what's my point? I have been through alot to get where I am. I could list it all but that would take too long and the only point is to say, trust me. I have been there. To hell and back. And survived. As have many others who tell their story to be 'inspirational'. So why am I different? I guess I am not really but the girl before all this wanted to be. Before I became a 'label'. Before I became labelled by what had gone 'wrong' and what I had overcome which is why a part of me wants to ignore it and certainly not put it out there as an inspirational story. I am sick of being a product of what happened to me but my back won't let me forget. But I am not that. I would have written anyway today. Because that is what I want to do. The heart doesn't lie. I wanted to get drunk, I wanted to party, and I wanted to do all the crazy things I did. And then I wanted to get sober and have a family. So eventually I got lucky. I saw all the gifts in my journey. Why they had happened, what they had taught me. Yes, it's been painful but the gratitude of not being where I was and coming out of the darkness in to the light outweighs everything. So what am I trying to say? To pass on? And why does it even have to be about that? Because I am a writer and I am also a loving person and recovery and has taught me how to love and give again instead of being so wrapped up in my own pain. So how do you go from surviving trauma to thriving? This is has been my latest question having been brought to my knees last year and having to have yet another look at my stuff. Gratitude. Number one. If you are having a bad day. Look at what you have to be grateful for. There is always something even if it is having learned the tools to deal with a 'bad' day. There are all the cliches like what doesn't kill us makes us stronger so through adversity you learn to cope with challenges etc but my greatest gift I guess last year was breaking. Was admitting my vulnerability and for me, turning to God. This may put some people off. So be it. It is my truth and if there is one thing I have learned it is that life is nothing without that. I thought thriving was getting back on your feet, showing them all, being a success. No. Thriving has been getting back my faith. In God, in life, in that things are going to be o.k. That even when tested once you have come in to the light...you never go back. The tests were a gift. I passed. And the peace, joy, love and gratitude I have earned are inexpressible. Apart from to say this. Thank you for being my audience today. Thank you for letting me express the love I have learned exists under any circumstance, any trauma, any problem. Gratitude, gratitude and more gratitude. The more grateful you are the more your attract. The more you complain, the more you attract. It's very simple really but when we are in pain it is hard to see. And sometimes the pain has to be worked through. Not 'got over'. And it's worth it. Cause once you have looked it in the eye you can see it for the illusion it always was. Good luck on your journey know that all is well and exactly as it is meant to be even f it doesn't seem like it and try it. If you are having a rubbish day or even experiencing the worse pain imaginable ask for help. Call on your higher power whatever that may be for you and believe you can do it. And you will. Step out of the shadows and in to the light, one day at a time. And that, my friends, is thriving.