Andi Maie Jones
Bio
My name is Andi Maie Jones. I am a Woman on a long winding path, trying to navigate motherhood, overcome/manage mental illness, figuring out my niche in life, trying to learn more, see more, travel more, and just be the best person I can.
Stories (11/0)
My First Love Story
I was fourteen when I meant my first love. I was in my second year of seventh grade. I touched on that in some of my other writings. I had no idea who he was until he walked into my classes. We were in the same section which means we all had the same classes together all year. His last name was right after mine in alphabetic order so he always sat close to me. I didn’t know him well so at first I didn’t say anything, but we had a few mutual friends so we started to talk more and more.
By Andi Maie Jones10 months ago in Confessions
Last Friday In June
It is the last Friday in June. What did you accomplish this month? This month I got my living room, downstairs bathroom, and foyer (I guess that’s what to call it) deep cleaned. I managed to keep it clean. Nightly resets helped and waking up every day and refreshing it puts me in a good mood each morning. The Bad part about this is that I have not done much in any other room in this house.
By Andi Maie Jones10 months ago in Journal
Fat Bitch
So sorry for the distasteful title but that is what I thought of as soon as I opened my eyes today. I am a fat ass bitch. I need to lose weight. I have never been as heavy as I am today and It really bothers me to my core. I am 35 years old and all my life I remembered how I felt as a young girl. I will never struggle with weight, I will stay slim and fit. I won’t struggle with weight the same way my own mother and aunts have. Well, guess the fuck what? I am and it sucks so bad.
By Andi Maie Jones10 months ago in Journal
Spinning Wheel
Today I spent most of my day in a worrisome state of mind. I racked my brain all day about side hustles I can do, and how I can make an income. I have so many great ideas for businesses I would like to start. Yes multiple. Side hustles too. My biggest gut-wrenching worries that overcame me were how am I going to pay my bills, and how am I going to feed my growing hoodlums. They are so picky and I will never let anything or anyone go hungry. Should I go back to a 9-5 job, or should I go back to killing myself in a warehouse and not have no time for said, hoodlums. I will never rule working out because that is life and I am not lazy and I don’t want to ever have to depend on anyone or anything but myself. I am too proud to ask anyone for money or any type of financial help. It has crossed my mind and it made me go into a panic attack thinking of having to do that. My brain just doesn’t want to cooperate a lot of the time. Which leaves me hanging. Flight or Fight mode kicks in. I try to fight but by then my fight isn’t good enough for those around me anymore so I take flight.
By Andi Maie Jones10 months ago in Journal
Rome Wasn't Built in a Day
Becoming discouraged after thinking you are doing a great job at something with no feedback or acknowledgment is harsh. I just started writing this blog. I have attempted it at least 20 other times only to delete it all and stop for a few months. This time I don’t want to do that. I want to keep on keeping on and writing until someone notices me. But how do I get noticed?
By Andi Maie Jones10 months ago in Journal
I Am Dying Everyday
I will be thirty-five this upcoming birthday. Thirty Damn Five. I am nowhere near where I want to be in my life. I am getting closer and closer to my dying day. I live in America. The average lifespan of an American woman is 77 years old. I am overweight, I drink energy drinks, I stress myself out, my family stresses me out, money is a huge stressor for me, and my anxiety and intrusive thoughts put a lot of stress in my heart too. I take a slew of medications, and I am not sure I’ll even make it to 77. If I make it to 77 that means I only have 42 years to be with my children.
By Andi Maie Jones10 months ago in Journal
In The Begining
In the beginning, god created the heavens and the earth. It is kind of hard to believe anything the bible says. There are so many theories, so many different points of view, and so many scientific analogies proving it wrong but there is also evidence that the teaches in the bible have once occurred. I have struggled with my religion all my life. I like to think there is a higher power. God, Jesus, and The Virgin Mary, but I have so many questions and so many doubts. I pray, pray a lot.
By Andi Maie Jones10 months ago in Journal
Manic Monday
I am having a thought block. I don’t feel like I am in a fog today. My mind is relatively clear. I have been trying to sit down and write all day. I can not focus on writing with my kids running circles around me, the asshole I live with demanding me to cook and clean and family members randomly making my house a pit stop. It’s like Grand Central Station here. If anyone related to me has to drive past my house they are stopping. Not for any particular reason either. My dad is one of my favorite people and I miss my granddad stopping in every day but now I just am in a leave me the fuck alone kind of mood every day now since he passed and I wonder where my dad was if he did not stop.
By Andi Maie Jones10 months ago in Journal
Who Am I Today?
Does anyone else have different personalities that differ from week to week or month to month? One week I am this outgoing, confident, social butterfly that thinks god damn I am hot. I can go out have a few drinks, go and visit friends, see the extended family, go out and get my nails done, bathe and shave my entire body, self-tan, practice my skincare, go shopping for new clothes and makeup, and just do all the vain shit I love to do. I am slightly selfish at this stage. I like to be alone and in my head, it’s all bout me. When I start to feel guilty for not doing things for and with the kids I tell myself I need this. I buy them things all year round.
By Andi Maie Jones10 months ago in Journal
Write That Down
Have you ever had so many good ideas you mentally think in your head shit I need to write that down? Or how about you have so many ideas brainstorming you want to write them down but when you start to write them down you forget all the good details you were just sitting for an hour thinking up in your head. What about when you are driving and you come up with a complete business plan in your head and all a sudden remember holy shit I am driving but somehow you haven’t run right into a damn pole, or where I live an Amish buggy.
By Andi Maie Jones10 months ago in Journal
Unspun
Today like many of my other days my brain raced out of control. I woke up at 5am. My throat was hoarse, and I started to sneeze rapidly. If you are a woman who has bared a child out of her vagina then you know I had to stay lying down and cross those legs tightly, or dart for the toilet hoping to make it in a millisecond, or id be changing pants and cleaning my couch cushion. I did make it off the couch but not to the toilet and I wasn’t fast enough to get my yogi’s down in the millisecond I needed to. I fired not one, not two, but five sneezes before I had those britches down all the way. Yep, I had pissed myself. Thank You, kid, one, two, and three. I had to shower anyway so my incontinence was only a slight inconvenience and lucky for me no one was awake yet to see my embarrassment.
By Andi Maie Jones11 months ago in Journal