An Ode To My Soul..

From the moment I laid eyes on you I knew.

Love at first sight I never thought was real but with you it was a instantaneous feeling. I just felt like I needed to protect you, and from that day on we have honestly not been apart. Many don’t believe in what I do, including you. But it’s like it was too good not to be true. I know what true love feels like because of you. I know it exist because of what we had…what we have. It exist eternally. We burn as one forever, this I know to be true. I know it was God sent, but we all have our free will. I can’t you for you, you have to do such for you. I see you, I know you, I believe in you. Most importantly, I love you.

I now understand that the ones we assumed were the “ones” were merely a reflection of our lower selves. It’s in the awakening that I realized it’s all a reflection of the same time line, that’s where free will and the right to choose how your life will be. Anyways, I just don’t know how to put it into words the intensity of the love I feel, of the way I yearn for the warmth of the softest skin on earth. The embrace of the blanket of safety. I’ll never forget the last night you held me, the way you pulled me close…

You lied to me and that’s what broke us off .. or is it the sadness of my soul and the dark cloud I carried? That shit got too heavy huh? I don’t blame you, but I do hold you responsible! Why can’t you truly be accountable? That’s all I wanted for a long time, but it’s run it’s course and that was it.. that was the last time. I don’t understand what I did because I wasn’t intentionally hurting you? You truly know that don’t you? I don’t think you do, and I’m sorry that the way I dealt with my pain felt like I was abandoning you. I thought you told me you had enough for two so I shut down because I didn’t know what else to do. Childish you say, and honestly I cannot disagree with you. I still showed up physically literally just by being here around in your space for you.. or I thought. Life is so blurred then because I was really fucked up in my mind and emotions that I wasn’t truly paying attention. Just as I got over that sadness, a different type crept in. I was baffled….

A house is not a home if there’s no love. There’s a certain bliss I felt with that was heaven sent from straight above. I wanted new, I wanted fresh. I could’ve handled your heart better. I see the bigger picture now. I seen you the day you looked at me in the bed and I laughed. Not because I thought it was funny but because I didn’t know how to react… I was too far in my ego. Too guarded… I just wanted the key to unlock your heart so I could know how to love you. Now all I have is memories of you. I love you so much that I let you go. I forgive you. I just always want you to know. You are worthy, you are kind, you are brilliant and you are one in a million. You are me..

I love you forever and always. My soul, eternal flame. Forever you know where to find me…

4Lifers