Why Writing Makes Me Happy

When I started writing short stories I was sixteen years old. It was my only outlet I ever had. The only place I felt like I could share my thoughts and feelings inside. Which led to storylines, and world building. While others had friends, and a social life something I never had until I got older it was probably the loneliest life I ever had. I found things to be a struggle in my youth because I wasn't heard.

Make things even hard when I grew up having the same habits even now I would rather be home with my husband then out fighting crowds for that shinny new Prada purse.

I can remember this is the longest time I ever been in one place for a long time this small apartment. All my life I moved which made things very difficult to connect with people.

Parents never in my life was abandoned while my mother started her new family. Grandparents selfish behind closed doors. My former family disowned me after I married my husband Shane.

Underneath all the disappointment in my former family I knew I never belonged with them.

I lost so much when I left my mothers three times in a row she took my desk gave it to Ash, she threw out everything then my supposed friend Sue through out my three coats and everything else.

What makes things harder is seeing my husband suffering in Saint lucia and I can't do anything about it. How do I do anything? I'm in this gorgeous apartment because of my husband telling me about this place. It's because of him encouraging me that I have made it this far.

I thought the picture thought it would give a hint of humour for all those who need a good laugh.

Some people call writing a great therapy, I do too. My therapy for writing has costed me, though it does help me in the long run.

I love the OCD moments of being creative adding the notes. Nothing has to be perfected but the best part is mapping out your ideas for a great novel.

I think why writing makes me so happy is, it's my voice my every being inside the pages.

Think the reason why writing makes me happy, because when I was young I always got into trouble for speaking my mind. A house full of vain people isn't easy to deal with. When every time I had to cope with everything sharing my thoughts and feelings became paper based.

It's been hard recently always staying busy because I am missing my husband so much. I have no funds for a round trip for Christmas working the Christmas rush. This is been the most difficult thing.

The most highest stressful thing is living in a city that is a right to work city. Meaning they can hire you just to fire you. The only place I ever truly loved working at is the nursing home I was the receptionist but I wasn't able to come into work on time. There was a protest going on with the Palestinian Gaza movement in Cleveland. I got on the wrong bus 51A I would have been late to work. I don't know why I delt with this kind of stress. I've been so worried about not being able to keep a job. The stress sometimes can be to much, and I'm sure my audience can understand this stress.

Because of my stress level I've not been able to write lately until recently. That's probably the hardest thing in the world not being able to write. Even harder thing in the world is dealing with the depression of missing my husband. Stress, anxiety, depression the works is what I'm trying to overcome. I keep praying for help and guidance and I feel like I'm not putting enough trust in my higher power. I want to trust, but lately I've been putting my trust in all the wrong people.

Can anyone relate to this? How do I get this feeling back? I wish I could create enough content on Vocal that this can be my source of income. Right now it's not possible.

As winter approaches the chronic pain of depression sets in because I live in Ohio. I'm spending the holidays alone this year just like I did last year. I can't afford to even put a tree up and our apartment is to small. I want my luck to change I want to love the job that just recently accepted. It's only seasonal for the Christmas Rush. I'm praying so hard that I can keep up with it, and my anxiety and self doubt doesn't get in my head. Does anyone have any suggestions? Can anyone relate to how I feel? Please like and subscribe to my vocal entries. Leave a comment of your thoughts.