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Starting My Story

Here Goes Nothing

By Angel AdagioPublished 3 months ago Updated 3 months ago 4 min read
Top Story - November 2023
32

I was born on a Wednesday…

I don’t know if that’s an exciting fact to know about me, but it's very much true. I’ve been told so many times that I should tell my story. I’m just not sure which version everyone wants to hear.

The version of me who lost their best friend at 5 years old?

The version of me who was bullied constantly for years?

The version of me that lost the passion?

The version of me that was hurt countless times by countless different people who promised me they loved me?

The version of me that so desperately wants to be happy?

No wait, I know.

The version of me that lives in the depths of night. Because no one knows who I truly am. Only what I have let them see. Only what I can bare for people to know.

It's easy to say, "tell them your story". I don't think my story is revolutionary. I was born and I am currently living...sorta. More like existing in-between whatever surviving and living is. I'm trying my best.

I don't think that is something someone who is struggling wants to hear though. Shouldn't I have some resolution to my problems like the fairytales?

Isn't there supposed to be a prince charming or princess charming to save the day?

Isn't that how we know that the story is near the happiness?

My story doesn't have that. Not even close to that. Whoever has written my story before I have lived it, really wanted me to have some interesting character development.

As much as I want to be an inspiration for those who come after me, it’s hard to be so inspiring when I don’t really have good words to describe the notion: Keep Fighting. I literally have almost given up too many times to count. It took me gaining a sister to keep going. Otherwise, I would’ve just been another lost name amongst the billions or trillions of others.

Have I had good times? Of course.

Have I had bad times? It seems like those are more common for me as of recently. I don’t know how to end the cycle of pain.

So I don’t know what people want to hear. My poetry is my outlet because I don’t know how to verbalize the pain I’m in. Yeah, it’s sad. But that's my currently reality. I wish it weren't.

I'm often staring at the screen trying to figure out what to write in my poems to not only have it feel real, but be the truest version of my heart. Sometimes that's hard considering that my heart has been shattered by the ghosts of my past.

How am I doing?

Is this okay?

Like I said, this isn't a pretty story.

There are days where I can't walk or talk. There are days where I don't want to walk or talk. Neither is a choice I am knowingly making.

I have a job that is killing me on the inside, and the people on the outside want to kill me. You wouldn't think that would be the case for a 20 something year old to have to deal with.

I should be thinking about the cute boy in glasses smiling at me in the cafeteria, not what time it'll be okay to leave my room to walk around outside because I need to avoid certain people who have threatened me.

I should be thinking about the fun I will have spending time with my sister, not the impending doom of a countdown to return to my reality and how afraid I am to leave her.

I should be thinking about how excited I am to pursue my passion projects, not the fear of everyone turning their back on me the second any sort of success comes my way.

There is no room for me to breathe right now. I wish I could breathe.

Is this the story that will have people on the edge of their seats for? Maybe?

I don't know if my story is important to tell right now. Maybe one day it will be.

For now, I was born on a Wednesday. And I am trying to live a life worth telling a story about.

ProcessLife
32

About the Creator

Angel Adagio

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Comments (18)

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  • Basharat2 months ago

    Great read!!!

  • Isabella Rose3 months ago

    This has me intrigued.

  • Babs Iverson3 months ago

    Fabulous!!! Congratulations on the Leaderboard win!!!💕❤️❤️

  • Cathy holmes3 months ago

    This is a wonderful beginning to telling your story. This right here, "to not only have it feel real, but be the truest version of my heart." That's what matters, and this is an excellent start. Congrats on the TS.

  • Judey Kalchik 3 months ago

    Every story- including yours- is with telling.

  • Novel Allen3 months ago

    Well, you seem to be doing quite well. I was born on a Wednesday. and no Wednesday's child is not full of woe as they say. Yes, there has been some woe, but we rise above it and soar as high as we can. Congrats on a double win with your story. Nowhere else but up, i say.

  • Brin J.3 months ago

    This was so raw and hit all the elements that we as humans ponder when we contemplate letting our walls down to share parts of ourselves with others. I commend you for baring yourself open like this. I wish I was that brave. <3

  • ROCK 3 months ago

    You hit the nail on the head, or is it the head on the nail? Clearly, you are ready to proceed with your story and more. Wonderful and explicit narrative.

  • Anna Turnitsa 3 months ago

    Great read!!! I started a memoir, although it's on hold because I'm enjoying writing for challenges. One can write many memoirs about their life. A memoir is like taking a moment out of the many in my life.

  • KJ Aartila3 months ago

    Just keep living until you are living the version you want. This is excellent writing!

  • Naveed 3 months ago

    Kudos! Keep excelling in your work—congratulations

  • Lamar Wiggins3 months ago

    I'm praying you can find happier times. I loved how you started this story by contemplating which version you should tell. It gave us a true glimpse without going directly into the details. Very effective writing. Congrats on your Top Story. You earned it!!!

  • Kimmiekins43 months ago

    I love this so much. I feel like you took everything I think and put it into this. You're doing amazing, and just know you're never alone <3

  • Dana Crandell3 months ago

    This is a fine piece of writing and a great start! You've tapped into your honesty and authenticity and I can't thinnk of a better place to write from.

  • Rachel Deeming3 months ago

    Sounds like you've had a tough time of it and continue to too. Writing is a salve. I think it's good that you're using it as an outlet. This was powerfully raw and felt very honest and truly felt: authentic. I was born on a Friday.

  • Margaret Brennan3 months ago

    PRICELESS!! Congratulations on TS. Your story is well worth top praise.

  • Rene Peters3 months ago

    I love how honest you are in this. I definitely relate to parts of it. Congrats on top story too!

  • Salman siddique3 months ago

    nicely written use some keywords also in your story like i do to get better reach

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