I Am Not A Number, I Am A Free Man

The Prompt

Explore a moment in your life where you grappled with your concept of identity.

The video is the opening to "The Prisoner" a surreal sixties series that gave me the title to this piece.

My Identity Crisis

Vocal has made me believe that I can write and create, or rather my friends and audience have done that. But what has come with that is a craving for recognition.

I addressed some of it in this piece.

The thing is if my stories are not read or do not get recognised by Vocal I then feel I have failed and am no longer a writer but then identify as a failure.

This happens quite often, though I will dip into my back catalogue and find something that is so good that I can hardly believe that I wrote it, and then I identify as I writer and creator again.

For years I never placed in a Vocal Challenge and finally did and that made me feel valued.

I still write pieces I believe are excellent that are not read by many people and then I start to identify as a failure.

I thought this was an interesting playlist. I think it is excellent, but it has just a single read and it is nine months old. I put effort into it and hoped people would take something from it, but one person did and left a good comment, but the fact he was the only one makes me feel it is a failure and therefore I am. But then I read it myself and realised it is very good, so really I am a success.

Conclusion

I identify as a good successful Vocal Creator but there are times when I feel I am the total opposite (and I don't mean a Medium Creator).

I am definitely a free man and will not let my imposter syndrome confine me.

Thank yu so much for readinf.