Your Life Isn't Lacking Because You Aren't Perfect

I'm the type of person that loves to reflect on the good times in the past. I love looking at old pictures and remembering where I was at that time. Sometimes I appreciate those moments, remembering the good times. Sometimes I appreciate them just so I can compare who I am now to who I was then.

So I look back on these old pictures, from like 5-6 years ago. And I think, "wow - I must have had it all together."

In these pictures, I look absolutely beautiful. My eyebrows are waxed, my hair is straightened and looks really nice, my makeup is done, and I have new and trendy clothing.

I remember this time in my life. I remember where I was when I took these pictures. I remember WHO I was when I took these pictures.

At this time, I had all of these things. And more.

I had the ability to go get my eyebrows done, because I had the extra money to do it and the extra energy to do it.

I had the ability to go buy new clothing, because I had the extra money to do it and the extra energy to do it.

I could do my hair and makeup every day because I had the extra money to buy makeup and hair products, and I had the energy to make myself up.

And I wasn't doing these things for myself. I wasn't doing all of this to make myself feel beautiful. I was doing all of this for others, to impress others, so they could fill the empty space that had been left in me after my overdose.

Now, my life is a hell of a lot busier than it was then.

I don't have the energy to go get my eyebrows done, or go buy new clothes, or do my hair and makeup every day. My life is filled with many more important responsibilities, like caring for my puppy and working on my business.

Not to mention, while working on starting my own business, I DEFINITELY do not have the extra money to spend on these luxuries.

Yes, I still do my hair. Yes, I still do my makeup. But I don't have the energy (or need, really) to do it every day.

And when it comes to waxing my eyebrows and buying new clothing? I sure as hell don't have the money to go do that stuff right now.

However, the point here is, all of this doesn't mean that my life is any less. In fact, it's so much more now.

All of those times that I seemed to have it all together on the outside, I was actually really broken on the inside. I was really fucked up on the inside during those times.

At this stage in my life, I don't have it all together on the outside. It actually looks like my life is a complete mess. And sometimes, it is.

I'm not 100% happy, but I am the happiest that I've ever been. And more importantly, I have hope. I have hope because I know that I'm actively bringing myself closer to a better future every single day.

Even on the days where all I do is rest, that's still working on myself. That's still giving myself what I need.

I'm also in the most stable position I've ever been in. I feel the safest that I've ever felt. Doesn't that speak volumes?

I think this speaks a lot to perception and the idea that what we perceive is not always what we get.

If your life is working for you, makes you happy, and gives you hope - you're living a wonderful life.

So you don't need to be all dolled up all the time, or on your best game all the time, in order to be worth something. If you WANT to do that, by all means. But don't think that you need to.

Be yourself, and watch how much more the world will open up for you.