To The Cheesy, the Love-Struck and the Naïve

I always had this innocent, chivalrous, heroic view of love. Probably it was because I was raised by a very conservative and religious family and that most of my upbringing was in one of those far-flung areas where tightly-knit communities thrived away from the “liberalistic” influence of the big cities. But don’t get me wrong! Now at 33, happily married and blessed with one child, I think I now possess a more mature, yet probably still flawed, perspective about love.

I know, I know, blah blah blah. But admit it or not, at one point in our lives, all of us viewed love in a very sweet and romanticised way, thinking about finding the “one” with whom we’ll spend forever. Also, admit it or not, regardless of how our love lives turned out, it was quite nice to remember those days when we felt giddy and excited whenever we saw those oh so attractive, eye-catching, attention-grabbing, endlessly beautiful smiles of our puppy love crushes!

And of course, what better things to feed our sometimes insane thoughts of ideal love than the countless movies and TV shows that showcase love as that eternal, undying, enduring component of the human soul. Unfortunately, there is no single formula to give you a recommendation of what movies and TV shows to watch, especially since we all have our own likes and dislikes. Fortunately, I’m a nurse, and in our profession we like devising pathways that help succinct decision-making based on conditional “if-then” statements. Starting with the classic Gone With The Wind which showcases all that is cheesy, love-struck and naïve about love, the application of my professional experiences (ehem, ehem) should guide you along the way!

Whether you’re cheesy, cheesier or cheesiest, love-struck or naïve, the following list should wake up those giddy smiles once more, and let you believe again that love, though it may take many forms, is that singular encapsulation of the beauty of life.

P.S. Don’t worry, there are no spoilers ahead!

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If you are romantically over-the-top to the point of being embarrassing (but not aware of it), well, cheesy you! Your “cheesiness” might be because you actually hold love to such a lofty pedestal or you are just plain, well, you. Below are the cheesy, kinda’ cheesy and very cheesy shows that will satisfy the emotional, hopeless romantic in you.

CHEESY

THE NOTEBOOK

Rotten Tomatoes 53%

Metacritic 53/100

If you think that the idea of growing old with someone is the most romantic thing there is, then this is the movie for you. The Notebook tells the story of Duke who we find at the start of the film narrating a tale to another patient in a nursing home. The tale is about Noah and Allie who fell in love with each other one summer in South Carolina. But because Noah is only a poor lumber mill worker and Allie is from a rich family, well, you know it, their families never approved of their relationship. But despite their social differences, conflicting emotions, and what their families wanted for them, they still found a way to each other’s arms, even when a world war came in their way! And you will find yourself in a little, lovely twist at the end (although I’m pretty sure you would have seen that twist coming!). With a beautiful opening piano theme from Aaron Zigman, The Notebook is a movie that will make you think about love as that one thing that can never grow old, regardless of the passage of time and space.

SO CHEESY

DIRTY DANCING

Rotten Tomatoes 69%

Metacritic 65/100

We are now going up the cheesy scale! This is another quintessential favorite (though I must admit at first I thought this was a “dirty” movie by the title! ) If you strongly believe that love should cross boundaries established by stereotypes of class and gender – and should be dancing to upbeat, earworm-able music – then this is the movie for you to see. Before there was Step Up, Silver Linings Playbook, La La Land and all iterations of the romantic dance genre, there was Dirty Dancing. This movie tells the story of Baby who fell in love with Johnny, a dance instructor. With some thieving and aborting and deceiving in the background, the movie will bring you from an inconspicuous critique of how social backgrounds influence love to the final lift that symbolizes the triumph of love over anything! And I bet by the end you would be celebrating that triumph as well to the tune of Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes’ (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life (which by the way topped the US Billboard Hot 100 in ’87 – ’88). "I’ve had the time of my life/ And I’ve never felt this way before/ And I swear, this is true/ And it’s all because of you..." Sorry.

VERY CHEESY

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

Rotten Tomatoes – varies per season

Metacritic – varies per season

The cheesiest of them all is the only TV show to make this list. How I Met Your Mother is the story of Ted Mosby narrating to his children, well basically, how he met their mom. If you believe in destiny, to the “one” out there who will come at the most perfect time in your life, then this is the show for you. Full of icons such as the yellow umbrella and Barney’s “Legend – wait for it!” quotes, the show spanned 208 episodes over 9 seasons. Personally, I fell in love with my first and only girlfriend – who is now my wife – and get over the pain of a long distance relationship with her while having late-night marathons of this show (it’s not that I wanted to emulate Ted for having a very long winded story!). But yeah, the show was indeed full of awesome and legendary moments that will make you laugh, cry and feel, while at the same time believing that no matter how long the journey, you will always find the one. “If you’re looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, it’s love” – that’s my favorite line.

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Love at first sight – I don’t really know if this is true. My anatomy professor taught us that falling in love in such a short span of time is more likely the product of chemicals swirling inside our bodies than a truly emotional response to another individual. Or probably it’s simply Cupid. Regardless, there are people who do become love-struck, and, if you ever find yourself swooning for someone you just met, then make sure you watch the following shows!

LOVE-STRUCK

500 DAYS OF SUMMER

Rotten Tomatoes 85%

Metacritic 76/100

As the name suggests, this movie chronicles in 500 days the relationship between our male protagonist Tom and his boss’ assistant Summer whom he fell in love with. Tom was clearly into Summer but she didn’t want to put any label in their “relationship”. When they did not work out, Tom fell into depression until he saw Summer on Day 488, during which he realized that true love did exist although in many forms and at the perfect time. Critically acclaimed (even Roger Ebert gave this film four stars out of four!) because of the performances of Gordon-Levitt and Deschanel and the energy and somehow realism in the story, this movie is a perfect example of how we might actually fall in love with someone, thinking that that person is finally the one, until life smacks us in the face and makes us realize that being love-struck does not necessarily result in happy endings – because true love is love that wants to be found at the perfect time, perfect place and with the perfect person.

SO LOVE-STRUCK

NOTTING HILL

Rotten Tomatoes 83%

Metacritic 68/100

Gosh this movie! Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts gave exceptional performances as William the bookstore owner and Anna the Hollywood actress respectively. I think I might have seen this movie two or three time since its release, and when I visited the UK, I went to Notting Hill to see the Blue Door. I thought I would be able to see the bench where William and Anna sat but was devastated to learn that someone actually bought the original bench and used it to propose to someone (that is a very interesting side story!). Funny and sweet, the movie cements the idea that similarities bring individuals together, no matter how different they might be or what the world might say, and forge a love that surmounts immediate feelings of infatuation or physical attraction. With Ronan Keating’s “When You Say Nothing at All”, Notting Hill is the perfect story for everyone who falls in a kind of love that bows to defy all odds.

VERY LOVE-STRUCK

LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA

Rotten Tomatoes 25%

Metacritic 43/100

Can there be anyone as love-struck as Florentino Ariza? Heartbroken after learning that Fermina was wed to her father’s choice, Florentino waited for 51 years, 9 months and 4 days (or well, until her husband died, that is) before he attempted courting Fermina again. This time around, both at their old age, Fermina accepts Florentino’s love. Though adapted from the novel of the acclaimed Gabriel Garcia Marquez, I did have some conflicting feelings with this story, especially since Florentino passed away the time waiting for Fermina by engaging in sexual but noncommittal trysts, and that more from being love-struck, I thought Florentino was eternally obsessed. Anyway, Florentino fits the most love-struck in our category, and if you think that love does wait regardless of the length of time, then this movie is for you (although I also think you’d be better off reading the novel!).

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Now we are in our last category! No matter what age has taught us, it does feel good to view love in a very innocent way, and view it in its pure, unadulterated form, free from the worldly influence of money, power and social status. Though I must admit most stories that fall in this category end in a tragedy, it is still nice to see the main characters remaining faithful to each other until the very end. For the naïve, this list is for you!

NAIVE

THE FAULT IN OUR STARS

Rotten Tomatoes 81%

Metacritic 69/100

Adapted from John Green’s novel of the same name, the movie is about two teenagers with cancer who fell in love with each other. Well, I must admit that from the start of the movie I already knew that someone would die (that’s not a spoiler!) but the story was delivered in a very heartwarming way that I actually enjoyed the journeys of these two star-crossed lovers. They were both tied up to the existential threat of their disease that nothing else mattered in the world, although meeting their favorite author gave them some form of awakening. With Ed Sheeran singing the main theme of the movie, I did find myself shedding tears at the end, and, if you are like me who likes to view love without the exploitation brought about the modernity of our world, then this movie is for you! By the way, I must also admit the movie is quite faithful to the book, so if you are a book lover who hates bad movie adaptations, then you will be pleased by The Fault in our Stars.

SO NAIVE

A WALK TO REMEMBER

Rotten Tomatoes 27%

Metacritic 35/100

It’s such a shame that the producers of the movie decided to modernize the story and depart from the novel by Nicholas Sparks but nevertheless, A Walk to Remember encapsulates the idea of innocent and pure love that never dies and even transcends death (that’s not a spoiler!). Jamie Sullivan is an exceedingly kind teenager who had leukemia and eventually succumbs to the disease while Landon Carter is the converted bully who eventually falls in love with her and asks for her hand in marriage even when he knew she was dying. The walk being referred to in the movie was Jamie’s walk to the altar, and it was supposed to be remembered because in the novel by the time of their wedding, despite Jamie being so weak she was mostly confined in a wheelchair she took all her strength and decided she wanted to walk the distance. I wanted to say that the movie pulled my heartstrings as did the novel but sadly, no. Thankfully, Mandy Moore’s songs did the job of diverting my disappointment.

VERY NAIVE

ROMEO + JULIET

Rotten Tomatoes

Metacritic 60/100

Is there any other story that demonstrates the naivety of love than Romeo and Juliet? There have been several cinematic adaptations of this Shakespearean play over the years but this modernized reimagining by director and writer Baz Luhrmann is probably the best. With Leonardo di Caprio and Claire Danes playing the titular roles, the movie is a roller coaster ride of the feud between two mafia families and the unexpected love that blossomed between Romeo and Juliet. Oblivious of the effects of their relationship to their families, the two decided to fight for their love until the very tragic end. Scooping several awards and being named as one of the British Film Institute’s “50 films you should watch by the age of 14”, Romeo + Juliet is definitely the movie experience for those who want to view this timeless story of innocent love.

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There you have it! If you like to revisit the times when you were cheesy, love-struck or naïve, or simply wants to view a movie about the innocence of love, then make sure to check out the list and the pathway. But do remember, in the cheesiest but most sincere words of yours truly, it is only the frailty of our humanity and the solitude of our existence that drive our hearts to falsely believe that love is only an entity that moves between and not among human beings. For in the end, love is the long sought-after ether, superstring, M-Theory and Higgs Field that pervades and unifies the universe, the essential element of the Theory of Everything, that unseen, ubiquitous force that makes us all one.