#SingleMomChronicles: Me Time

Hey mamas! On this episode of #SingleMomChronicles, we are gonna talk about: ME TIME. It is difficult as a parent to get time alone. As a single parent? Alone time is pretty much non-existent. I found myself becoming extremely overwhelmed all of a sudden. As the only adult in the house, everything lands on my shoulders. Whenever my children need anything, they come to me, of course. I have to cook, clean, help with homework, give advice and pep talks, be a listening ear, ect. I have a 17 year old daughter. She has generalized and social anxiety and depression. She has abandonment issues from her father leaving her as a child. She has mixed emotions about him raising his other kids but not being there during her childhood. She talks to me about all of those things. I have to sift through her mental and emotional stuff while attempting to sort through my own. I still gotta work somewhere to make money to live day to day. That is a heck of a lot for one person. I got to the point where I was sitting on the toilet in the bathroom with the door locked at midnight crying my eyes out. I mean ugly crying with the snot and the stuttering sobs. I would cry whenever I was in my car alone as well. That is no way to live. Something had to change, and change soon.

The fact that I am a mother wasn't going to change. My baby dads were not going to suddenly become active parents. My life is what it is. Mt hand was dealt, I gotta play it. I have always told my children these exact words: "You can not control peoples actions, but you CAN control how you REact to those actions." I decided to take my own advice for a change. I simply changed how I reacted to the stressors, people and situations in my life. The answer was so simple. Here are some tips I use:

THERAPY IS NOT A BAD THING

At the end of the day, I needed someone to talk to about life. I am on anti-depressants. I promise you, it has changed my life...quite literally.

EVERYBODY HAS A VICE

Girl, drink that glass of wine if you want to! Everyone has something that they do/use to get through each day. Obviously, as a mom, I am not suggesting over indulging in alcohol or taking street drugs. We still need to be coherent and responsible functioning adults. So...moderation boo!

HOBBIES WORK

My favorite thing to do when I am stressed out, is color. Yup, color! I have like 10 packs of giant coloring pages and dozens of coloring books. I like to use color pencils. The fine point is perfect for coloring inside the lines. At first, I was using Crayola color pencils. I discovered Prisma Color. Y'all? They are amazing, you hear me? I will sit and color until my hand starts to hurt.

WRITING CAN BE CALMING

You may have to wait until the children are asleep, but come on. We are moms, so we are used to doing that. I know I am, and that is ok. Maybe you don't feel like talking today. Start a journal perhaps. What I do is: write down whatever is bothering me at the moment on a piece of paper. I would then ball the paper up and toss it into a trash can. Do you see the symbolism? The idea is that I am throwing the problem away. Makes sense right?

As always, I hope this helps or inspires someone. Until next time mamas!

*MUAH*