Family life from the feminist perspective; can women have it all? Can anyone?
Girls are a lesson
Being a daughter whose mother had a traumatic childhood is not an easy situation. My mother has a somewhat dysfunctional relationship with her mother, but that is a story for another time. She has a complicated relationship with me and my sister. However, my mother went through something that will affect her and her daughters for the rest of her life. At the age of 5, she was sexually assaulted. My mother told me and my sister this at a very young age. It haunts her. She has seen therapy and while therapy helped her a bit, she still is affected. And it shows based on how she raised my sister and me.
The Diary of a Single Mother
One morning, I woke up and decided, I was ready to be a mother. I wanted to see the ten little fingers and ten little toes. I was ready to listen to the heart warming giggles. I thought, the slobby kisses and hugs from a tiny person is just what I needed. At that time, I truly thought I was ready to be a mom. I thought, I was equipped with everything. I graduated university, I was working within my career, I had money in the bank, a stable home, a loving partner, married for over 4 years. And most importantly, I was at my prime pregnancy age. I was under thirty and didn’t want the biological clock ticking ahead. Motherhood, oh it sounds so sweet.
To the Single Mother
To the Single Mother, You fascinate the world with the mystery that is you. Where do you find the strength and courage to endure the everyday emotional and physical strain? Your dedication to your family is remarkable. I can’t be not in your vocabulary. Failure is not an option for you. You are brave and bold because you have to be. Although loneliness might play a main character in your life, you still are strong knowing that exuberance and your accomplishments will be rewarded in the future. You power through working more than one job, going to college, helping your children with their school work, wash, rinse, and repeat day in and day out. You strive to be the best every day not only for yourself, but because you are a role model for your children. You are teaching them that no matter what the circumstance is you can always change the narrative.
Dear Little Warrior
Dear Little J, You live a normal, comfortable, and happy life. Most people wouldn't consider how much you've done to get here and how deserving you are of recognition of it. Society is always about more, what's next and how you measure up so "normal" doesn't ring praises. You don't care about anything that isn't authentic to you. I understand why you don't chase for more than a happy existence when you have suffered and just want a peaceful life. I wanted you to know I see you and celebrate you.
- Third Place in Sister Circle Challenge
To The Woman With The Heart of a Dragon
You were born in 1964. The year of the dragon. You’ve always admired dragons. Dragons, lions, eagles. Creatures larger than life, that represent strength and courage. I think it’s because you’ve always seen yourself in them. I do too.
To my Grannie, I’ve been thinking about you a lot these days. My world is so different than yours was, but there are similarities that shine through. I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today without you and the stories of your strength keep me going when times feel dark.
The Scent of a Mother
Mama Yangu Shujaa Wangu. These four words forever stain my arm with the memory of all that my mother has done for me, even in the moments when I felt like she wasn't doing anything but neglecting and rejecting me.
Dear Mom and Anne-Ashley ~ I’ve sat down to write this letter so many times. In my head it’s simple: "Say thanks, I love you, and blah blah blah". But as soon as I grab a pen or begin to type on my keyboard, I get overwhelmed.
My Pioneering Grandma - A Woman Before Her Time
This year as the pandemic raged throughout our care homes, my grandma became one of the people who could add their name to the death toll. When she passed she was not the same woman. It is wrong to say her leaving was almost a blessing. Dementia has eaten everything that was her, away.
Women Without Children
For as long as I can remember, I always insisted I never wanted children. I didn’t like kids—I still do not, to some degree. People would often tell me I would change my mind when I got older. They would tell me that it’s different when it's your own kid. Clearly they never understood my issues with kids. It’s not that I hate them, it's that I want to be able to get away from them. I don’t want to listen to them cry or deal with their temper tantrums. I don’t want to smell their diapers or touch their sticky hands. I enjoy hanging out with them and playing with toys, I just like to be able to hand them back to their parents when it comes time for responsibility. Some people completely understand this point of view, but more often, us women who don’t want kids are looked down upon as if there is something wrong with us. It’s as if there are people out there who think our only job in life is to produce and raise children. I know there are women who felt obligated, even though they didn’t want kids, and that isn’t fair to anyone, especially the child. In today’s world, it is shocking that there are still women who are shamed for their life decisions regarding children, and it just isn’t right.
Dear Family, Friends, People of the World, For as long as I have known, you have been asking me, "When are you going to have kids?" I want to finally give you the answer you truley deserve in this well thought out letter.
Sitting in a dimly lit Gerardi’s Café was none other than Christine LaForte. She appeared to be a confident, sprightly young woman in her mid-forties. She was looking at the painting of a coastal town somewhere in Southern Italy.