Happy Father's Day Mommy!

It is 2023. The price of everything I can think of has risen exponentially. Joblessness rates are high. People are unable to afford to buy a house. Marriage rates are way down, divorce rates are way up. So many households are headed by a female. These issues are not race or culture specific. As a black woman, I would be remiss to not mention how absent fathers are made to seem more prevalent in the African American community. It, in fact, is not. That, though, is a different discussion for a different time. Stay tuned for that perhaps.

Many people feel that Father's Day is not the time for single mothers to "bash" their absent baby dads, take credit for caring for their child(ren) or wish themselves a Happy Father's Day.

*Dear dad, Happy Father's Day! Thank you for the gift of life.

Thank you for shielding me from strife and loving me. Completely

The strong man. The first "love of my life", like Erykah Badu told

me. How I should be treated, you showed me. I love you daddy...*

I can accept that sentiment to be honest. Father's Day (I assume) was created to lift the good fathers up, not to put the bad and/or deadbeat ones down. Makes sense. My oldest daughter is 17 years old now. She has long since seen her father for who he is , and essentially who he is not. She is still sorting through her feelings about this. I have never been one of the moms who bad mouths the dad to or in front of the child. I have always wanted my children to form their own opinions about their dads should be up to them and be completely independent of me and my relationship or the lack thereof with him. Very mature, right?

*My father is gone. ABSENT, Invisible to me. Why create me

only to leave? Hardly ever come around to see me? Mommy

is all I got. I don't even want to call you "dad". It's so sad

but also true. Thank you mommy, for everything. I love

you...*

My oldest daughter told me "Happy Father's Day" this year, and last year. She also gets or makes me a small token of appreciation. My children are my whole life. I have gone without food for my children. I wear old and/or ragged clothes to use my money for clothes or shoes for them. I am no stranger to sacrifice. My children see it. My 7 year old does not fully understand, my 17 year old does however. As a result, she is sure to thank me often and tell me how much she appreciates me. This makes me feel so good inside. I am a lucky mom.

I never publicly pat myself on the back. I mean going to social media and posting or ranting even, about my sacrifices and bad mouthing my respective "sperm donors" . I have long since grown tired of the "bitter baby mama" narrative, so I have been known to speak rather candidly and not mince words if there is a reason to speak on either of my daughters fathers. I simply state facts: neither is consistent physically or financially currently or any significant amount of time in the past. Each father was unfaithful to me at one time or another during our relationships. The failure of my relationships and the subsequent absence of dad that followed is placed solely on my shoulders by society. This too is another discussion for a different time. I have no qualms about letting the GOOD fathers out here have and enjoy their day. I suggest we celebrate them several days a year. It feels nice to know you are appreciated...