Not on the Same Page ... Round 2

Finding a potential mate in life is quite frankly a blisteringly daunting task for anyone, it was in the past, still is today, and more likely than not it will be for the foreseeable future, unfortunately. Though I would like to take a moment to example some clearly s***ty reasons why some people need to always be left alone. This refers to the narcissists, wallowers, drama seekers, etc. Now in some cases, I agree that it is unmerited because the dator is really worthy of a great datee especially if both are willing to put in the time and work to make something of the connection experienced. However, more often than not those who are getting left in the dust aren’t as date-worthy as they think they are. In my opinion of course. Feel free to agree to disagree but here is some food for thought.

Last summer in less than 48 hours I was pursued by a “caged bull” and it wasn’t pleasant. This person may have been a great person on some level at some point in time but as you will read, they lacked what it took to keep the date after they scored it.

On the 28th @10:38 am after messaging me that they couldn’t believe I was on this site at the same time as they were after having met me many years prior at a place of mutual employment (which they went into convincible detail, therefore, eliciting a call from me out of intrigue because honestly, I couldn’t remember them at all. This is how the conversation went… (with commentary) and (some modifications to protect identities, tweak grammatical errors that can be hard to understand, and make the conversation flow for the purpose of this story. The integrity of the conversation has not been compromised at all, including my own mistakes I now realize in hindsight).

(Morning)

Xxxxx: Hey Mia it's Xxxxx. I’d like to take you to a movie so let me know which movie you'd like to see and we'll go. What's your drink of choice?

Me: Hi… Um ok… Whatcha doing right now?

Xxxxx: Workin for the man.

Me: Okay so we can't talk on the phone.. cause before we go to the movies we probably should talk about some stuff first... you know get some of the preliminaries out of the way.. and right now I'm driving.

Xxxxx: Sounds perfect. Text me when you can chat more and we can talk later today :)

Me: Ok

(Afternoon)

Me: Ok I'm walking around the park now... So... apparently I made a good impression on you years ago since you recognize me even though I changed my hair color... correct?

Xxxxx: Love the park. I like to run down that big hill back behind the swimming pool. Have you done the inflatable obstacle course on the pool? Lol... I have a really good memory, you still have that same mischievous look in your eye despite your hair color. You used to stare me down across the work floor 😂 I can def see why guys would find you intimidating. But not I.

Me: No, I haven't done that. I haven't been to the park’s pool in a long time. However, I am up by the pool walking around it. Mischievous look in my eye? Interestingly I don't get into a lot of mischief. Well since your memory is so good could you please refresh my memory as to what we used to talk about when we saw each other?

Xxxxx: Hehe I’m familiar with that pool. I love walking up around there.

Me: Do you live close to it?

Xxxxx: I'm not close to it but I make special trips out there sometime just cause it's awesome. I like to kayak there and also hang at the lakeside restaurant and stare out at the water. We never had a chance to talk at length just cause they had me constantly working but it was mostly just harmless flirting as I recall.

Me: So where do you live then? And yeah I like that restaurant a lot. Yeah, I am a little flirty sometimes.

Xxxxx: Southside of town. It's a great spot. Suppose I'm a big flirt. Do you go to the zoo a lot? I still want to check out that bar inside the zoo. Obviously you can tell from my koala pic that I like animals and that I'm cuddly AF.

Me: Ok .. so your south of town and you work for the man, which I'm guessing means a normal 9-5ish type job... seeing you may be tricky.. do you have days off that aren't Sat/Sun. Yes, I go to the zoo a lot and it's not really a bar as much as a tiki stand with taps.

Xxxxx: Tiki stand with taps? 😒 haha, I'd still like it though. I'll actually be off this weekend Fri-Sun and also Thursday of next week.

Me: Are you a big drinker? Cause I'm really not, like if I know I'm driving I won't drink at all.

Xxxxx: I’m a social drinker and appreciate all the new craft breweries around the country it's really an art. It's fun and usually I just Uber.

Me: Yeah, I've heard that about craft beer.. not my kind of thing though. I don't drink beer at all and have no desire to try.. sorry. I'm glad you Uber that's really good. If the fact that I'm not a big drinker and I'm not into craft beer breweries isn't a deal-breaker .. then maybe Friday early we could catch a movie.

Xxxxx: I'll be working early Friday. We could go over the weekend or on Monday or Wed.

Me: Oh ok... So just to break this down... The only night I'm ever occasionally free is Friday but only till like 10 and weekends are always out... but Wednesday early could work if you wanna plan for that. Sorry dating can be super hard for me.

Xxxxx: How about Thursday?

Me: Yeah that sounds good and we'll talk till then and as long as deal-breakers don't come up for either of us then we have a date.

Xxxxx: And yeah you're still pretty beautiful too, obviously. Haha, I’d say we’re in-store for a very nice time.

(So despite the fact that they were throwing warning signs of not paying attention to what I was saying with regards to my schedule they had, calmly, secured the date of a possible date. Though I did clearly state that it was contingent on whether deal-breakers came up.)

Me: Agreed and thank you 😊 How come you’re single? I was just looking over the questions you answered and you don't want to settle down? So I just wanna make sure we're on the same page when I say I don't just sleep with people. So Thursday is to hang out as friends without benefits ok.

Xxxxx: Just broke up. Lol. I'm not expecting benefits in the movie theater. I want to settle down. I'm not just so sure when.

Me: Oh so movie theater really wasn't code, my bad.

Xxxxx: If I had answered different wouldn't the code have been ok? Now I'm confused lol.

Me: Nope just me overthinking your answer to a question.

Xxxxx: Yeah just take me for me. I'll be honest.

Me: That's good. So why did you two break up?

Xxxxx: Long story. Nothing crazy just kind of a mutual thing I guess. Stupid things happened out of control so I don't really wanna revisit it although I probably could. Ready to just go and do my own thing.

(Right there I was 75% checked out of this person. Really read what was said in that response. 1. It’s a long story… Usually indicative of drama 2. He feels the need to point out that it wasn’t crazy and a mutual thing they GUESS! <~ That is never a good sign when they don’t even know the exact reason for the breakup. 3. “Stupid things happened out of control” well, were they out of control things or things fought over for control/possession? 4. They don’t want to revisit it… Look no one really wants to revisit a breakup it usually is painful however if it is so painful and hard to explain that it can’t be summed up with a definitive reason for going separate ways then it was messy and messy breakups need time to get over. So the fact that they were out on the prowl so soon after means drama will follow. And 5. The biggest of all “although I probably could” … So what does this mean? Possible pessimism that it will happen again via bad luck … or … A desire to live the drama over and over again? Either way who wants to traipse down this road for what equates to a stranger, no matter how much they try to convince a person/me otherwise. Hence that is why I made it clear I was proceeding as friends.)

Me: Interesting... that's an answer I haven't heard yet. So ok, since we're just proceeding as friends it doesn't matter.

Xxxxx: I'm not interested in just friends tho. Interested in dating.

Me: So what separates dating from being friends in your mind?

Xxxxx: Kissin n huggin.

Me: Well kissing yes, but hugging, I do that with friends... But ok so what's the time frame you have in your mind before that progresses to more?

Xxxxx: Just go with the flow baby. There's a lot of chemistry for us to tap into here. I think. But I mean holding hands, doing cute s***. Don't have to have a marriage license. If we start having fun and all that stuff I would totally delete this dating app. I don't want to be on these dumbass apps. Be the reason.

Me: Oh my... So some stuff you need to know upfront cause I am upfront. I'm still in love with my ex. Until just recently we talked every day and it was a mutual desire to talk every day to each other. So all I can actually offer is friendship right now. You can be you and grab my hand and kiss me cause I'm not in a relationship per-say but I don't know how long it takes to move on from years of commitment to someone. Just fyi.. feel free to bolt.

(Now right here they should have bolted and I really really wanted them to bolt. I mean what I said wasn’t a lie but it was also said strategically to try and end this without being rude. So it was a classic ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ line. However, this person just could not accept that there was an even slimmer chance that this was going to happen now.)

Xxxxx: I believe you. But that also sounds like something you tell people who you think don't want to settle down. You wouldn't be on a dating site telling people they're hot and making dates with them for no reason. I don't even know what I wrote on my page. I know more about your page than my own.

(Now I chose to let this go because I was 99% sure this person was going to completely sink themself soon... Seriously though... That was a creepy thing to say, in my opinion, because while a person may want it to come across as sweet and romantic that they have taken such a liking to you, it actually comes across as stalker-esk because in the 24 or so hours it’s been they read through my profile enough to know me better than themself? Really!?! That is ludicrous. So I laughed cause to me it really is hilarious that this person is so hell-bent on “knowing me” that they make these bold assessments and statements that couldn’t be further from the truth.)

Me: 😂🤣 Nope it's all the truth. I'm on a dating site for friends and it says that on my page. And I'm trying to start the moving on-ish process IF I can... And I don't lie... You are hot... I call it like I see it... And it's a friend date, which to me means we go have a nice time and don't have sex, cause sex is my separation factor for friends/dating. Like I couldn't settle down right now if I tried... But I ask because I refuse to be someone's booty call or entertainment for a month or so till someone else comes along… That’s just insulting.

Xxxxx: I don't want that. I want to date you. If I woulda had "ready to settle down" in my profile we wouldn't be having this conversation. That's ok. Also... Didn't know what I was looking for. Didn't think I'd find you.

Me: What makes me so "worth the effort" just curious.

Xxxxx: You’re hot 😎 You've been on this app for a couple weeks. I just got on here. We've crossed paths again and I wanna go for it.

Me: Yeah. I need to go slow. So if you do wanna “go for it”, I appreciate that and I'm cool with that... But understand friends first... And really cause I'm hot!?! You'll have to learn your audience 😂 Hot doesn't work on me Sarcastic cynical smartass would have 😉

Xxxxx: We've been friends for a long time. It's only now I've had the chance to get them digits 😎 And all those things are what makes you hot. I haven't forgotten ;)

Me: So some other tidbits. I don't like scary movies. I barely eat. I overthink everything. I say random s*** when I get awkward. I do random s*** for shock value.

Xxxxx: Yada, yada. Told you I'm not intimidated, Mia. Hahaha, I'm looking forward to it.

(It was humorous for a minute but now I’m starting to get irritated.)

Me: And we haven't been friends for a long time... we were acquaintances a long time ago... And I did forget, I'm sorry. But in my defense, I forgot because when you working at the same place I was I was in a relationship at that time and trying to get pregnant, so I was just flirty cause I am by nature, not because I was interested.

Xxxxx: Humph 🤔

Me: Interesting, You're really sticking to this is “something I do to push people away or test them”. Well, can't say I didn't warn you and was upfront.

Xxxxx: And I am by nature too. I'm not sticking to anything just being me.

Me: Ok and so am I, I question everything.

Xxxxx: So do I and I'm very cynical and sarcastic too. I push people away all the time.

Me: Why?

Xxxxx: I'm selective. I'm not out just leaving with any chick.

Me: I'm just a bitch 😂. No there are seriously deeper reasons for it but I bet all those people I pushed away would say I'm a f****** bitch 😂🤣

Xxxxx: I think we are more alike than you ever knew. That's why I'm here!

Me: Are you sure you're not projecting what you want on me because of a sheer coincidence?

Xxxxx: not projecting anything just telling you that there's more to me than meets the eye.

Me: Well there's more to everyone than meets the eye.

(Now I could have just ghosted this person at this point but for 1. I’ve been ghosted and it sucks so… to that end, I prefer to end it in a finite way. And 2. I didn’t honestly think they would have accepted that. Sooo... I decided to go in a different direction…)

Me: Would you ever want kids of your own?

Xxxxx: Depends on my partner. Wouldn't be a decision I'm prepared to make today. I'm open-minded. I'm leaving work if you're free I can call you.

Me: It seems like a random question I know. But you seem to have a very optimistic outlook for us despite my desire to be friends first and go slow. Which is nice but also makes me overthink things such as... If that's something that could be important to you.. you should know I'm done with kids forever! Maybe later after 9 if you're still up.

Xxxxx: Ok. And yes always optimistic.

Me: Yeah I'm more of a stone-cold realist.

Xxxxx: Opposites attract 😌

Me: According to Paula Abdul.

Xxxxx: Your fav.

(Which she is not! So if it was stated as a question then this is a prime example of why Punctuation Saves Lives… Just sayin’...

Now, that all went on throughout the same first day of talking up till this point which was around 7:00 pm. Now nothing else was really said until much later that night when this person felt so inclined to let me know that they were going to bed and that they would talk to me in the am, to which I replied, “I'm in bed already 😴 So night night” BUT first thing the next morning this person was on it texting me first.)

At 8:54 the next morning I get:

Xxxxx: Hey sexy lady.

Me: Hi. How's work?

Xxxxx: Better now ;) Too many hours Mia I just want a nap.

Me: I was gonna ask what's on your mind but obviously sleep is.. lol... Didn't you get enough sleep last night? Like do you start work too early?

Xxxxx: Well sleep is on my mind but also Ms. Mia is on my mind 😌

Me: Why? I mean thank you, but why?

Xxxxx: Cuz you a badass bitch 😉

Me: Interesting, why? I mean thank you, but why? I don't do well with compliments. I know to say thank you but they honestly make me uncomfortable, especially when it's someone who I know doesn't really know me. So I appreciate that you wanna be sweet.. but I'll respond better if you just forget how pretty I am and how flirty I am and just talk to me normal Like for example: I ask what's on your mind.. you say.. a cheesesteak from Charlies.. or last nights game.. or this damn machine at work is broke... I can work with that stuff.. I can't do anything with me besides f*** with you and ask you why until you get annoyed.

Xxxxx: That won't work on me 🤣 Notice I didn't really compliment you. I know you aren't good with compliments. That's why I said you're a badass bitch ;). I know you slightly better than you give me credit for. I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down.

Me: What!?! Badass bitch is a great compliment I mean s*** the only one higher is "f****** badass bitch".

Xxxxx: I know but I didn't give you a cheesy phony compliment I mean and see you were complimented by it so I win 😎 Haha...

Me: Not cool you tricked me. I feel so outwitted... It's like being trapped by a hungry bear in the woods (I hate the woods) though I would try to send the bear loving vibes .. before he ate me.

Xxxxx: I'm the bear 🐻 Grrr baby.

Me: No no no! You ain't eating me. Damit you have quick wit I have to rise to a new level...

Xxxxx: Yum yum baby. Hahaha...

Me: Nope not gonna happen and I feel like a washed-up basketball player with leopard print hair... I'm so outta practice... damn distracting elements of life. Focus focus focus.

Xxxxx: I'll just nibble on you then 😆 I just laughed out loud. Doesn't happen often. Leopard print hair is sexy btw. I love the retro 80s type stuff I'm working on an '80s room in my place.

Me: Nope I'm not a Waterford cracker. No nibbling either. I'm glad you laughed out loud 🙂 And I'm not big on the 80's I'm more stuck in the ‘90s. But good for you, that sounds like an awesome project to have.

Xxxxx: What are your favorite things from the '90s?

Me: Yeah pretty much everything... Music, clothes, TV shows, large coffee mugs, roller skating rinks, Chevy cavaliers, gas prices, and Bill Clinton cause he was hilarious... yeah everything.

Xxxxx: Ooook ok I can dig that. Who are your fav bands?

Me: I can honestly get down with any bands except for hardcore rap and hardcore heavy metal.

Xxxxx: I read that. Haha... Are you a good kisser?

Me: Hmmm.. well I've never had any complaints and there are several people who would like to do so even now so I'm going to go with yes but every person is different so I can't give you a definitive answer really.

Xxxxx: 🤔 Fair enough.

Me: Yeah that was a weird question... In my opinion... But it's all good I want you to ask whatever.. and I'll answer it as best I can and always honestly.

Xxxxx: Not weird. Just challenging you a bit.

Me: Okay.

Xxxxx: Are you real health-conscious? Do You work out?

Me: No quite the opposite... I eat junk typically, just not much of it, cause I'm weight conscious. Though if I can eat salad or rice and veggies I would take that over anything else.. I just HATE cooking and by that, I mean dealing with food at all. And I love to walk, I own a treadmill but if it came down to it I'd starve myself as opposed to workout... And that's the brutally honest truth.

Xxxxx: Well hey, whatever works for ya. We will have to go on a nice romantic hike sometime soon.

Me: Thank you and thanks but no thanks on the hike. I like nature but I don't enjoy hiking at all.

Xxxxx: Well it's more walking Not Really "hiking". It's not hard. You'd prob like it.

Me: Is it on a trail?

Xxxxx: Lol... Mmmmabey...

Me: Then no.

Xxxxx: Darn.

Xxxxx: Do you like jacuzzis?

Me: Why?

Xxxxx: I want to get one.

Me: Cool, go for it if you want it.

Xxxxx: So you don't like jacuzzis? Can't swim? I do know CPR.

Me: They’re ok. If I'm on vacation and the hotel has one I may sit in one for a half-hour one or two days outta the trip.. but to sit in one daily no. I can swim and I too know CPR.

Xxxxx: Oh, do you? Good to know you're heroic. I like that quality and a woman. Mia the anti-hero ;)

Me: Yes it's a good thing to know. I'd be superwoman every day but... I'd rather not be responsible for anyone else’s life or happiness who isn't an absolute permanent fixture in my life.

(Now I will admit that earlier in the day we were talking rather well I guess even though they do not get my sarcasm at all and they ignore all the times I try to ignore their cheesy "player" lines… I mean I said "I hate the woods" and they still asked to go on a hike. It's just rude and impolite to not pay attention. So with the exception of feeling as though “the woods” may have possibly been a way to kill me and bury the body cause they didn't care that I hated the woods, I chalked that one up to my own weird paranoias because apparently a lot of people enjoy hiking and not listening to others nowadays. BUT… this last part is the kiss of death for this person and the exact reason why some people who think they’re the good guy/girl are living deluded and that is why they have trouble finding someone to be with.)

Xxxxx: More like Harley Quinn, I think.

Me: How did you come up with that?

Xxxxx: I was going to say Wonder Woman but you're not a brunette no mo. She's blonde.

Me: Interesting. So are you like the Joker at all?

Xxxxx: I'm the Dark Knight boo. You'd also be a good Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman.

Me: No you hit it with Harley Quinn. I'm attracted to men who treat me badly and I'm very damaged.

Xxxxx: I won't kill you... But... I don’t have to save you.

Me: Good cause I don't want to be saved. I love how twisted I am. I love how damaged I've become. It's who I am now and I don't wanna sugarcoat me just to be with anyone.

Xxxxx: I f****** love it.

(Now in my mind at this point “I won’t kill you” is metaphorical like this person won’t break down who I am and the “I don’t have to save you” part is somewhat more literal as to they won’t try and change who I am. HOWEVER… this is not what they apparently meant though some backpedaling will occur in just a minute…including on my part because I realized they were taking what I was saying in a different direction then I meant it. And I get it, when someone says Harley Quinn it’s automatically assumed she’s a woman looking to be abused but that’s not all there is to her. Also, I know I bag on myself a lot but a great person let someone do that, this person was getting turned on by the fact that I was downing myself. That's a red red red flag.)

Me: I wouldn't have thought you would. You seem too optimistic to be down with a trainwreck.

Xxxxx: There's so much fun to be had. That's why my fav color is gray. I'm between Batman and Joker.

Me: I can't be driving at 120 off a bridge.

Xxxxx: Like I said... I won't kill you... But I don't have to save you... Now let's put a smile on that face.

(And there it is… The kiss of death… True colors… what this person really meant was that they wanted to take their frustrations, aggravations, and misfortunes out on me. So in a more physical sense, in their mind, in my opinion (which at this moment is the only opinion that matters cause this is my life), while they were grudge f***ing me for what ended badly in their last relationship they’re going to choke the hell out of me just enough to not kill me while completely deluding themselves that this is what I was asking for because they “knew me” and they’re a “bull that’s been released from their cage” and that’s what I really want. That I “wasn’t a sheep” and I always had a “mischievous look in my eyes” so of course, I don’t need saving. What I need is this person who “knows me better than I give them credit for” so when I say "NO" I really mean yes, so that will make it all justified as “legal” cause I said I’m akin to Harley Quinn and that means that I’ll have a smile on my face while I’m being treated badly. Slowly putting all this together I try to clarify that we’re on different pages.)

Me: You won't kill me. That's good I don't want to die. You don't have to save me. Thank you, I don't want to be saved. So how do you think you'd put a smile on my face? Cause we still may not be on the same page.

Xxxxx: I Have many methods. What page are you speaking of?

Me: I NEED to know these methods.

Xxxxx: Play your cards right and maybe you'll find out.

Me: NO! I don't play that game... I know upfront or it goes no further.

Xxxxx: I'm a good kisser and I'm good with my hands. I'm a smartass and I don't follow rules.

Me: Yeah, we're not on the same page cause there are rules in the real world.

Xxxxx: That's ok. You can follow them if you want. But I know well enough to know that you aren't a sheep.

Me: OMG. This is going down a very uncool road.

Xxxxx: Not really. You can't compare yourself to Harley Quinn then say you follow all the rules. C'mon now.

Me: Then I'm not like Harley Quinn. At least not the version you have in your mind.

Xxxxx: I don't do anything illegal so no worries there. I live in that gray area.

Me: I'm not 50 shades of Gray dude.

Xxxxx: Hahaha. Not like that.

Me: This is all Dali-esk. And without you spelling it out. I'm thinking the worst and I'm not down with anything over pg13 Harley Quinn.

Xxxxx: You're a hard R Harley Quinn.

Me: NO I'M NOT!

Xxxxx: That's EXACTLY what Harley Quinn would say!

Me: You knew of me and I use that phrase loosely cause we didn't talk-talk back then.

Xxxxx: I knew you better then you think! Look, you and I were just having fun. Trust me I read a lot about you on your bio page I hear ya. But you're quirkiness is a turn-on, always was.

Me: I appreciate that you "read up on me". But I don't wanna do this anymore. I said before I just wanna be friends. And that is just not what you want. And I won't give you anything else.

Xxxxx: I've just been turning it up a notch on purpose. I wouldn't normally say such things. I actually prefer things to go slow. You are just very unique so I’ve been all over the place plus today had been a horrible day.

(... So it’s my fault, of course… and it’s also all due to the fact that they had “a horrible day” … So they’re clearly not into apologies (which I get it, they have no reason to apologize for being themselves, the fact that they were clearly freaking me out didn’t matter to them cause again they “knew me”) any more than they’re into accepting the words NO and I’M NOT LIKE THAT. How fantastic, NOT!)

Me: I am honest to a fault. I don't play games. I hate this kind of s***. Yeah, that may be the truth and I'm sorry for your day but you got me all weirded out now and I'm just not interested... For whatever reason you amped s*** up, it got to an awkward uncomfortable level and I'm not cool with it.

Xxxxx: Well we were playing around with Harley Quinn and Joker. Saying you like men who aren't good to you and saying you’re twisted. I was just playing off of the anarchy. How about I just call you real quick?. I have like 10 mins.

Me: What is calling me going to do.

Xxxxx: Because you’ll understand my sense of humor better. I wasn't being serious. It's hard to talk as much as we do without tone of voice n all of that.

Me: And I said I'm attracted to guys who treat me badly. Didn't say I wanted that.

Xxxxx: And I didn't say I would give it.

Me: At least not on the level you keep insisting I want it on… right?

Xxxxx: I was messing with you like I always had. You know honestly when we worked together all the other people I talked to...

Me: I get enough from text.. your tone of voice can come through via writing if you know how to write.. hence books.. they don't talk.

Xxxxx: ...thought you were a bitch. They were afraid of you.

Me: Cause I am a bitch.

Xxxxx: Well I'm not writing a book.

Me: I know that.

Xxxxx: I was trying to get you out of your shell a bit. I was pushing the envelope.

Me: Why?

Xxxxx: I’m not being serious. Because you are intense. Even though you say that you're "carefree" ;)

Me: Yeah I am intense, I need to change that on my profile.

Xxxxx: Hahaha...

Me: I'm not in a shell.

Xxxxx: Guarded. Like I said before I'm a "big" flirt. IDK It's weird being single I guess I'm like a bull let out of a cage.

Me: I don't need to be brought out of my so-called “shell” at 2-4 in the afternoon after only like 24 hours of talking plus and more to the point I'm not guarded I'm a damn open book... I'll answer anything as long as I know why it's being asked.

Xxxxx: Hmmm, Yeah That makes sense. I was gung ho to a fault.

Me: Yeah and seriously I'm still in love with my ex.. and meeting guys who are "like bulls being released from a cage" is just not something I'm interested in dealing with. Sorry not sorry. Again I'm being honest I get that I put a lot out on the table quick... but that's to not waste time... and I'm glad you did too to the extent that it showed me where you are and I'm not where you are. This is us being real, which is good... now we know and we can move on.

Xxxxx: Hahaha... I agree BUT... I know we will still have fun.

Me: I don't think we will anymore.

Xxxxx: You said that you say things for shock value. So do I. We basically just played tug of war.

Me: Holy f*** 🤦 Stop!

(Time of death 6:38 pm on the next day)

(Now again I realize that I did in fact probably say some stuff that led them in the wrong direction and I apologize for that but it should have stopped when I kept saying “I’m not like that”. Being flirty doesn’t mean I’m looking for abuse or deserve any specific kind of treatment that negates what I say. What it means is that I try to keep things light or "carefree" but as soon as I realize it’s not staying light I get very intense to make it stop. Now I admit that I should have ended it after that first day because they didn’t in fact text me anymore (knock on wood) after I said “Holy f*** Stop”. However, I do kind of still believe it needed to get to a certain point, as it did, for them to understand I really meant NO and STOP because of how intent they were on “knowing me” and wanting to “go for it”. Also, I never go to that park anymore or on the southside of town either, just to make doubly sure I never run into them for any reason.)

Point is, always stand up for yourself if you start to feel uncomfortable! Also, please take a minute to assess yourself. Especially if you feel you’re not getting what you want out of dating or any kind of relationship for that matter. Lastly, for the love of all things good LISTEN to what people are saying. Whether it is in a text, through a call, or maybe even through email, whatever it’s mode-of-transportation, really listen/read/pay attention and if something sounds weird or bad ask for clarification, and if it still seems off just quit talking/typing. Don’t keep doing what’s clearly not working. It’s completely ok to assess and not fuel a fire. #metoo