5 Things Sex-Positive Women Do Differently

If you grew up hearing that sex and sexuality were shameful things never to be discussed in polite company, you’re far from alone. The same is true of you if you’re officially tired of it and ready to embrace a healthier, more sex-positive way of life. However, knowing you want to be sex-positive is one thing. Truly understanding what sex-positivity is (and isn’t) is a little more complicated.

Being a sex-positive woman is not about being promiscuous, having sex indiscriminately, or even having sex at all. It’s about prioritizing consent, acceptance, openness, and understanding regarding everyone’s sexual choices and autonomy. The following are some excellent examples of habits that set sex-positive women apart.

1. They refuse to apologize for their approach to sex.

Women are socialized to think they need to apologize for so much about how they live their lives, especially when it comes to sex. Sex-positive women deliberately flip the script and refuse to passively play along, so following suit is a great way to get started on a similar path of your own.

Do you absolutely adore sex and seize every opportunity to get laid? Awesome! Are you not particularly interested in sex yourself and totally fine with that? Rock on! Do you swear by sex toys and solo lovin’ as ways to get to know your body better? Heck, yes! Sex-positivity is all about owning your unique feelings about sex without shame or apology.

2. They’re body-positive.

Sex-positivity and body-positivity go hand in hand, so it’s well worth your while to learn to love the skin you’re in. Don’t worry if it takes you awhile to get there. Again, you’re not alone, and you can do it one step at a time. Here are some ideas for getting started.

• Get rid of your scale. The number it shows you when you step on it doesn’t define you.
• Start viewing good, wholesome food as fuel for your body and exercise as a reward, not ways to punish yourself for not being the “right” weight.
• If you wouldn’t say something to a friend about her body, don’t say it to yourself.
• Make a list of amazing things your body can do and actively celebrate them.
• Get rid of clothes that don’t make you feel good about yourself and purge your social media feeds of accounts that make you feel bad about your body.

3. They look after their sexual health.

A considerable part of leading a body-positive, sex-positive lifestyle is taking good care of your sexual health. Making it a point to keep up with your regularly scheduled check-ups is a great place to start. Make sure you include STI screenings, gynecological appointments, and so forth. Be sure to discuss any concerns you may have with your doctor, as well. She’s there to help!

Sex-positive women also adopt healthy sexual self-care habits in their everyday lives. Pee after having sex to help prevent UTIs, whether you were getting busy with a partner or all by yourself. Have safe sex always. Take good care of your sex toys, wash them carefully after every use, and inspect them regularly for integrity issues.

4. They talk openly about consent.

Consent is a huge deal when it comes to sex, and it deserves to be talked about more often. You can help the cause by bringing it up for discussion with your friends and family when and where appropriate, even if it’s challenging to do so at first. It will feel like second nature before you know it.

Consent isn’t just an important matter when it comes to sexual activity, either. Men and women alike have the right to say no to any contact they’re not comfortable with. This includes widely accepted social norms like hugging. People have the right to say no and have their bodily autonomy respected, both in and out of the bedroom.

5. They’re accepting of others’ sexual preferences.

There’s no room for judgment in a sex-positive person’s approach to other people. Sex-positive women not only understand that everyone’s different, but they fully realize it’s part of what makes humanity awesome. They don’t shame others for anything that turns them on or off. They’re equally unashamed of their own likes and dislikes, so they expect to be shown the same respect they show others.

When sexual differences arise between them and a partner, sex-positive women talk things out. They make an effort to understand where the other person is coming from, and they actively seek to find happy mediums that both people feel satisfied with.

Leading a sex-positive lifestyle is about adopting a healthy, inclusive attitude toward sex and sexuality regarding oneself and everybody else. How do you embody the sex-positive spirit in your own approach to life? How do you go out of your way to educate others on what it does and doesn’t mean to be sex-positive?