My Response to the Killing of George Floyd

I was angery and I was sick with worry about what was going on in the country around the time that George Floyd was killed. I had emersed myself into social media at the detriment of my sanity. I did not want to see the video for fear of my own rage. I was afraid of what I would do, of what I would feel. A couple of weeks later I was reading a testimony of a bystander and there was a link. A little blue “here” link at the end of the sentence and I pushed it, and all of a sudden I was watching the murder of George Floyd. I know the word was that he was a criminal or that he was a bad person. I tried to rationalize it in my head to take race out of it, but now I am watching the brashness of the officer and the cries for help. and now I am angery. I am in rage, and I don’t know what to do. The following is what flowed out of me after watching that video.

I can’t I can’t I can’t

Be enough for you to care

Be cool

Be white

Be Un-Angry

I won’t I won’t I wont

Listen to your Bullshit

Your ignorance

Your hate

Your racism

I will I will I will

Stand for those in need

Be in your face

Fight for truth

Remind you of your fuckedupedness

My life My life My life

Will be about shit that matters

Will matter to you

Will be an example of evolution

Will make a difference.

So much has happened since then, and I had to get off of social media in order to stop the anxiety attacks that I was having. You see, I stopped watching the news a long time ago. It did nothing for me but bring me down. Now all of a sudden I was apart of the soup of hatred, fear, ignorance, racism, and apathy that gets weaved into our daily lives by the media. I am glad that I put myself into that situation. I am glad that I cared enough to feel something raw, to be apart. I just know we have a long way to go as a country, but after the way people came together I have hope! I see that change, real change can happen when we come together and stand for what is right.