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Moscow's Calling - 18

A friend's call of empathy for the verdict

By Lana V LynxPublished 18 days ago Updated 14 days ago 3 min read
By Ukrainian political cartoonist Oleh Smal, specially for the author

This conversation happened on June 1, 2024, one day after Trump was found guilty by a New York City jury on all 34 counts in the "hush money" (business records falsification) trial.

“Hello, Donnie?”

“Yes, Vlad? We just talked like yesterday?”

“Yeah, the day before, actually. You left so abruptly for the verdict announcement and never called me back.”

“Did you want me to call you back?”

“Of course, I wanted to know what the verdict was.”

“Like you didn’t hear it from the news? It’s all over the world!”

“I did, but I was also hoping to hear it from you…”

“Why, Vlad, why? To make fun of my humiliation?”

“Of course not, Donnie! Remember, I’m your friend. And just like a good friend, I wanted to support you in times of trouble.”

“Really? You wanted to do that for me, Vlad?”

“Of course, Donnie, what else are friends for?”

“I’m so glad to hear that, Vlad! So glad to hear it. I’ve never really had friends, you know. In my line of work you can’t trust anyone. Just can’t trust anyone. No one is a friend. So I’m happy to have you as a friend.”

“Of course, Donnie, you can trust me. How are you, really?”

“Angry. Mad. Pissed off. So angry, Vlad, I still can't believe that they did it to me! And feeling betrayed. So betrayed!"

"By whom?"

"Everyone, Vlad, everyone! There was a juror there in the box, who kept smiling and even winking at me. Winking, can you believe it? I thought that juror was on my side. On my side, Vlad, hoping I'd get an acquittal or at least hung jury."

"Yeah, Donnie, that sucks."

"And then my lawyer. I felt like he was light-weight, even though he did make some good punches at the end with GLOAT and saying that they should not send me to prison. But so light-weight, like he's never defended anyone before."

"Well, he didn't, Donnie, did he? Wasn't he a prosecutor before?"

"Yeah, and that's why I thought he'd be a good defense lawyer. Came highly recommended, but he is no Roy Cohn. No one is, I can't find my Roy Cohn."

"You've said it, Donnie, no one is Roy Cohn. But I'm sure your lawyer did his best, under the circumstances..."

"And then that judge! Someone who is out of Central Casting, so handsome and dignified. And so well-mannered! I have to give it to him, Vlad, I have to give it to him, he looks like a real great judge. I thought he'd be at least lenient to me, at least a little bit lenient."

"He still could be, Donnie, when he determines the sentence."

"Oh, don't even say that word, Vlad! Can you imagine, me, America’s favorite president, being sentenced for the crime I didn't commit! I’m so very innocent! This trial was such a disgrace! Total disgrace, all backed by Soros and Biden!"

"Are you going to appeal, Donnie?"

"Of course I am, Vlad, but it's a state court. The judge did everything by the book. Just by the book! Appealing will only delay the process but I doubt the decision will be overturned. Can you imagine, Vlad, I am a convicted felon now! Me, a convicted felon!"

"You should be proud, Donnie!"

"Proud? Why?"

"You are really like your favorite Al Capone now. Think about this: Even in prison, he was still running his empire. If you get elected while in prison, you will automatically become a hero!"

"You really think so, Vlad?"

"Of course, a martyr for the people!"

"Maybe, if you think about it that way. But if I get elected while in prison, god forbid this, I will just pardon myself." [chuckles]

"Right, I forgot about the American president's great power of pardon! Imagine all your enemies' faces when you simply pardon yourself, Donnie!"

"They will all eat sh*t!" [both chuckle together]

"See, Donnie, at least I made you laugh."

"Yeah, Vlad, thank you. You know how to make me happy. Only you know."

"Well, I have to go now, Donnie, but please take care of yourself and stay in good spirit."

"Thank you, Vlad. I will."

"Good, Donnie, and remember, you still owe me two billion." [hangs up]

Trump, after hanging up, "How can I forget that, Vlad? How can I forget?"

trumpsatirepresidentpoliticspoliticiansfact or fiction

About the Creator

Lana V Lynx

Avid reader and occasional writer of satire and short fiction. For my own sanity and security, I write under a pen name. My books: Moscow Calling - 2017 and President & Psychiatrist

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Comments (4)

  • Hannah Moore16 days ago

    I meant to look out for this piece! The UK press is saying an appeal might well go his way.

  • Awww, Vlad made Donnie laugh. Lol 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Andrea Corwin 18 days ago

    Great job as usual! I was, however, waiting for a tiny bit of commentary on the absent wife LOL.🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Lamar Wiggins18 days ago

    Lol... Can't wait for the sentencing and to see what Moscow has to say in your next episode. Haha.

Lana V LynxWritten by Lana V Lynx

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