Moscow's Calling - 17

This conversation happened on May 30, 2024 as Trump was waiting in the courtroom for his hush money trial.

"Hello, Donnie?"

"Yes. Vlad?"

"Of course it's me, who else would call you on this line?"

"Well, I don't know... What's up?"

"'What's up?' You are asking me, Donnie? You are going through so much and not calling me, so I decided to call you."

"Oh, yeah? I'm flattered, but what do you mean, going through so much? I'm just sitting here at the courtroom, waiting for the verdict. Can you believe it? The best American president waiting for the verdict!"

"Well, I have a whole list of things. Let's see. First, your trial is almost over. How do you feel about it?"

"Oh, Vlad, don't even ask. Horrible. That Sleazebag, my former lawyer said a lot of bad things about me. And of course Horseface with her horrible lies! Lots of things that work against me. Lots of bad things, Vlad!"

"Really? I heard your current lawyer did a great job in the closing, exposing your former lawyer as a GLOAT and a thief. By the way, I like playing this game with you, of not naming those who hurt you with their real names."

"Yeah, me too! But can you imagine it, Vlad? The audacity, to steal from me! And he even admitted it, can you imagine? Like he was proud of it!"

"Yes, Donnie, the audacity! I would never tolerate anything like this from my employees, current or former."

"Well, what are you saying, Vlad?"

"I could have taken care of him for you, Donnie. Multiple times, and a long time ago."

"You know, this is the case where I would actually say thank you. But..."

"But?"

"But it might be too late. He already did the damage. So much damage! I can only hope that the jurors will see that he is a liar. Sleazy GLOAT! By the way, I came up with the term GLOAT!"

"You are so good with this, Donnie, I'm always impressed."

"But at the same time, I wouldn't wish any harm on him. No harm, Vlad."

"Why?"

"Well, he is kinda like an old family dog. I just can't do it."

"As you wish, Donnie. By the way, why didn't you testify at the trial?"

"Oh, Vlad, that's a million dollar question! I hated sitting there just like that, unable to respond to all the lies about me. So many lies! I'm sure I would have cleared my name in court."

"So, why didn't you, Donnie?"

"My lawyers said I would have perjured myself, Vlad."

"What does that mean?"

"If I accidentally said something that was not true they could put me to jail, Vlad. Can you imagine? Me, all Americans' favorite president, in jail?"

"C'mon, Donnie, you do that all the time!"

"Going to jail? I've never been!"

"Lying, Donnie, you are such a great master of that! Like the best in the whole world, GLOAT, I'd say. I should take some lessons from you!"

"Well, thank you, Vlad." [flattered] "Apparently, not under oath, Vlad, I can't lie under oath, or I will perjure myself."

"Oh my god, Donnie, c'mon, how would they know you are lying?"

"It's the court, Vlad, they will know. They always do."

"I think you overestimate the power of the court and underestimate your power of lying, Donnie. You just need to be confident in lies. And you can totally do that. I've seen you doing that so many times!"

"Again, thank you, Vlad. I think?"

"So, how's the deliberation going in this sham trial?"

"Sham indeed. Such a sham trial, shame on Biden for going after me like that! It's hard to say anything about deliberations, Vlad. It may be quick or take months. No one knows."

"Ok, well, let's talk about some other good things then. Barron has graduated from high school, right? Congratulate him for me."

"Thank you, Vlad, he is a smart boy. So smart!"

"I would think so, with a mother like that."

"Mother? What about me, Vlad?"

"That's a given, Donnie. So, what's next for Barron?"

"I don't know, it's between him and his mother. They are looking at some colleges... Oh wow, Vlad, I just got the word that the jury's verdict is in. I have to go now."

"So soon? Good luck, Donnie!"

"Thanks, Vlad. Bye."