Beyond the Blues
Beyond the Blues

Worrying is good

by ASHLEY SMITH 5 months ago in coping

surviving a crisis

Worrying is good

I heard an interesting theory while listening to a comedy podcast earlier and still not sure if they are right or not. They said that the man in the couple is anxious, worries all phone calls are bad news and that all conversations are the same. The wife is organised to a point but lets things happen and deals as she goes along. What they said was not only is he dealing with the pandemic and lockdown better but that she heard that this is true in many more cases.

Then theory being that if you are always expecting disasters and problems that when one actually arrives then your getting what you expected all along. The idea is that as your expecting things to be bad that when they arrive you are already planning what to do. Even that the chaos may be some kind of relief, a safe place as you have been proven right to worry.

I am in a mix of emotions at present because I have to act differently for different people. My fiancé worries but understands the situation so I can be realistic with her but limit some of the stories if she hasn't heard them. I care for disabled adults who understand very little about it except they cant leave the site they live on. For them I have to remain calm and reassure them it will all be over soon, though I am sure it wont be. That leaves the stuff buzzing around in my own head, usually depending if I am alone or with others.

I work as a carer and therefore have to naturally be ready to react in a crisis while also remaining calm. For example I work with two people with epilepsy, as their fits are unpredictable I need to be aware they could happen while not smothering the person in case. Similarly I work someone who is very unsteady on their feet but likes to walk around a lot, so again i need to give freedom but also be aware of a falling risk.

It probably also depends what information you take in and what you believe. I know the majority of social media posts are rubbish and that the media guess or invent many things. I choose more reliable sources and wait for things to happen rather than predict. My partner also has depression and anxiety but is slightly different as she doesn't work at present. She stays home mostly and doesn't mix, a lot of her time is spent alone while I work.

She does worry but usually tells me what aspect scares her most, I then have to decide how to reassure her. This reassurance may be with the truth or with a slightly better option then the one she is worried about. For example the area I live in apparently has the worst death rate in the whole county. Scary as a headline but when you look closer that terrible number is seven .Obviously still a tragic number but not nearly as scary as the headline seems to imply.

I think that as my depression and anxiety was high before this started I have started to worry about it later then most. It was basically just another thing to add to the list. Its meant the 3 concerts I was attending this year have been cancelled and my wedding postponed a year. These registered more for me for the first few months, then the worry over dying came later. I even had fun annoying the twitter idiots who think its all fake or that we should be able to carry on regardless.

So after all that I am still not sure. Anxiety and depression is rising under lockdown which means many are struggling more then before. I think we need to basically accept this is happening, follow government advice generally. If in America or certain other countries maybe listen to someone else.

coping
ASHLEY SMITH
ASHLEY SMITH
Read next: Never In the Cover of Night
ASHLEY SMITH

England based carer, live with girlfriend. will write for all areas but especially mental health and disability. though as stuff for filthy seems popular will try there too

See all posts by ASHLEY SMITH