Who We Are Communicating With Can Make A Big Difference

Young people can have a whole different language. Think of rap music. Is the language different?

Old people can use language like cool, which some think sounds like a fool. So many conversations and sayings give our grandchildren a look that says, say again! You sound like a broken record, can’t be translated to a scratched CD! My granddaughter did not know what a record player or record was.

Some may say thank you, while others will say Miigwech (Ojibwe), Merci (French), or Pidamaya (Dakota). While no is no in English and Spanish and Gaawiin in Ojibwe.

A touch is a form of communication. An outstretched hand for example and a firm handshake, while others may bow, and still others will have a light touch and even only touch fingertips.

Some will give a kiss as a greeting, while others will have a firm hug. Still, others will give a gentle tap. With the pandemic, there was not much touch with people outside of our immediate circle.

Communication with eyes is another form of communication. Growing up as a Native American, direct eye contact was not okay sometimes. It was a sign of respect. It was not used when you were being scolded. Some even had more serious reasons for not using eye contact.

However, when you get hollered at by a teacher to “Look at me when I’m talking to you,” and the teacher has a red face and is spitting at you. That is when you learn that it isn’t the thing to do in that classroom.

Some people will think you are shy when you are taught to watch and listen before talking. They may even accuse you of fooling them, which you had no intention of doing. The message you learned growing up is that we have two ears, two eyes, and one mouth for a reason.

If you have grown up with an oral tradition of storytelling, without a written language, then you have heard many stories growing up. Some people lost the stories, others still have some of them and still, others have remembered many. Our values and teachings are a part of those stories.

Many of the people I have grown up with have had to learn to live in at least two worlds. Some are more comfortable than others in those two worlds. When I went to work in State Government, it was yet another world. Politics is interesting and not something I planned to spend my life working in.

Some people would interpret what I said to others initially. Yes, I was speaking English. It wasn’t the same, even though I understood what was said to be what I said. I got used to the lingo soon enough to not have that continue.

Twelve years was too many for me. Tribal politics I observed from a distance when I worked for a reservation. That was enough for me too.

Most people do not understand politics, other than know that they do not like most politicians. And it is a tough system to work in unless you become a bureaucrat. It appears to be easier for those who have gotten there. I don’t know though as I have not been there.

I am a woman in long-term recovery and what that means is I haven’t found it necessary to take a drink or a drug in 41 years. The people I enjoy communicating with are other people in recovery. My mother used to call them my other family.

I love communicating with my Native American family. and that is not just my immediate family or who I am related to.

I have gotten to a place in life where I just enjoy visiting with others, wherever I am. I enjoy people. I really will talk with anyone. If they don’t talk back, I will move on and not take that personally. I think people are interesting and I am curious. Communication is important to me. Understanding some of the nuances is something I will continue to visit.

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First published at Medium in Mercury Press