When Life Feels Too Hard: How to Mindfully Get Through the Day

“If you find it difficult today, remember the aroma of coffee, the way the sun shines through the window, the laughter of your loved one, the feeling when your favorite song arrives, the color of the evening sky, and that here you care. ”~ Nanea Hoffman

I'm tired now. Really hit. I have taken on more work than I can handle in my spare time, I have been feeling under the weather for a while, and my eighteen-month-old son is in another sleep conditional.

Whether I care for her or work, I almost always do something, seven days a week. And like many of us, I feel that I have very few places of entertainment and relaxation, even if I find time, because of the limitations of this epidemic.

I know I have little to complain about. I'm healthy, and so are my loved ones. I have all my basic needs. And there is much I can appreciate. But still, my days feel overwhelmed and difficult.

Maybe you can tell - and maybe for you it’s even worse.

Perhaps you are battling mental health problems from months of separation. Or you are trying to figure out how to pay off your debts because you have lost your job or some of your hours. Or you may be dealing with a sick loved one, and the burden is too great to bear.

If you’re in that frustrated place right now - if you’re frustrated and burnt out or at the end of your rope - I find you. I do so. And I do not have the simple answers to the real ones, and perhaps the ones that seem insurmountable.

I would say, however, that things do not always turn out the way they always did. And no matter what happens on the road, there are a few things we can all do to help ourselves get through this day. Mental health is perfect. So we are less likely to hit, we are less likely to hit, and we are better able to handle whatever the future may bring.

Here are a few sensible ways I approach the day when everything sounds like too much:

1. Do only what you can achieve by doing one task.

I find it incredibly difficult to be present when I have to do so many things at once because I feel like I am failing at all, and I am definitely caught in my head, judging myself and my efforts.

And I don't enjoy anything when I do a lot of activities - even if some of them are fun, like spending time with my son or writing. It's like having twenty tabs open in my mind, with music and video clips and Netflix programs playing at the same time. All good things, but not all at once!

Even in normal times, especially parents have to do a lot of work - there is so much to do between child care, household chores, and real work. But still, I realized that I could ask for more help and just let some things go. I can wash the dishes over time. Or make an uncooked lunch. Even if you don't do some of the little things I'd like to do but you really don't have to do this for yourself.

This is not easy for those who want to be perfect. We want to think we can do everything - and do it all right. And if we can, we are hard on ourselves. But I've started to tell myself, at the end of the day, if I can't do everything right on my to-do list, the problem is not me, my responsibility.

So do one thing at a time, and if you feel like you can't, ask yourself if that's really true, or if you're too attached to your busyness - because you feel productive, or it gives you a sense of control, or lets you avoid feelings you probably don't want to deal with.

2. Allow yourself to enjoy the little things.

It sounds confusing, and I know it is, but this is really life-saving. When your days seem to be frustrating, those little moments can go a long way in creating a sense of balance, even if life isn’t so limited now.

Take five minutes to taste your tea or coffee instead of scrolling and swiping it. Dance to your favorite song and bring out the songs, really feel in your heart. Take a few minutes to look at the moon and stars at night and then miss a moment at the beauty of the evening and the magnitude of the universe.

One night, after a bizarre experience with my son, I noticed that the moon looked like it had been painted. It was really amazing - it was fuller and more orange than usual - and I don't remember ever seeing it so good before.

So I stared. I didn’t try to stop thinking, I just did it because it was so amazing. And after a few minutes I felt quiet. I was meditating without trying to appreciate something I might have missed - even though it was so big and high in the sky for me to see it.

Take a moment to marvel at something you will never enjoy unless you carefully choose to focus on it. See things you don't see when you're in a hurry. Feel things you will not feel when you are under stress. Keep in mind that everything else looks temporary - because in reality things don't stand still. So it should be us who do it.

3. If you start worrying about the future or regretting the past, make a list of your current strengths.

Hard days are extremely difficult when we remember difficult days or worry about difficult days. But our minds are like a magnet for negative things when we begin to indulge in thoughts of failure. It’s like we apply a gray filter and look back and forth over time in a dark, oppressive color.

So instead of worrying about the past or worrying about the future, focus on all the strengths you now have that will prevent you from making the same mistakes and help you deal with what lies ahead.

Think of all that you have won and how that has shaped you. Maybe you have intelligence, or you can adapt, or you have an open mind. Maybe you are willing, or disciplined, or empathetic in a way that helps you connect with people and build strong support systems.