What Is CPTSD?

CPTSD is a severe form of PTSD, which is not easy to deal with. CPTSD comes from long-term exposure to harsh situations, behavior, and abuse. It is a response to real trauma. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a very real mental illness that many war veterans get when they reintegrate into civilian life, besides what abuse victims get. PTSD is a mental health problem people get from seeing intense trauma that never ends. My childhood felt like this, pain that never ended, a pain I still remember. This is why I have CPTSD because I have had to suffer real trauma from family members.

My thoughts rattle around in my head; sometimes I get severe flashbacks, which come out of nowhere. PTSD is common after things like combat or sexual assault in addition to emotional, verbal, psychological, and physical abuse. Symptoms of PTSD include reliving the event by having bad memories or nightmares. In a psychic person with PTSD, I have visions of the past, present, and future. I can see future trauma, but at least I can change the outcome. I avoid situations that may trigger me, such as my family, the ex, etc. I have negative feelings and beliefs from dumping an ex-friend that became toxic.

I am wary of new friends, mistrustful, wary because somebody might take advantage of me again. People who take advantage of me do not deserve my kindness. I have to set boundaries, and when somebody disrespects my boundary, I feel that I cannot trust them. When I want to be alone, respect that alone time damn it. I occasionally feel keyed up from hyperarousal. Source. I used to have a drinking problem, but I quit drinking on my own. I feel afraid of everything though. I’m traumatized by flashbacks. The good news is I found a therapist local to me at the college.

I will try to read about treatment options for PTSD today. I need to work on trauma-focused psychotherapy, cognitive processing therapy, and I have been giving myself prolonged exposure therapy for various flashbacks. I have heard of eye movement desensitization therapy or EMDR. C-PTSD is different from PTSD in that the short-term trauma becomes long-term trauma that is repetitive in nature. This is why I need therapy, and I’m relieved I found a therapist. I’m doing some reading on PTSD to get a handle on what it is I need to fix myself for.

I have been through long-term domestic violence, and worse. I have to wonder at how my PTSD affects me daily. Why do I feel this way when I get flashbacks? C-PTSD is long-term stress welling up inside of you. I do disassociate a lot. I get flashbacks, but I space out from them. Sometimes I worry that my trauma will always be with me. Just reading about this subject makes me start feeling my symptoms. One wonders how I can function at all with my anxiety. I have the anger problems common to those with PTSD.

I feel helpless sometimes when my PTSD comes on. Just writing about it is triggering. I feel detached from many different things, including my emotions. Now that I can control my feelings because of my medication, I do not have so many extremes. I was a victim of my feelings in high school because my mother refused me medication. I suppose that brings up strong feelings for my classmates. High school was a time of extreme conflict with my family. I avoid people because of my CPTSD. I finally found a therapist though, so I can get myself the help I need because I’m really up the creek here with my C-PTSD among other mental health problems.

Works Cited

https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/ptsd-overview/complex-ptsd.asp

https://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/PTSD-overview/basics/what-is-ptsd.asp