Way Less Sad

I really don't know if AJR lives with depression or not, but this song pretty much explains my life. I live everyday of my life with Clinical Depression and it is so hard. The days that I am way less sad are some of my best days!

"Hey-hey-hey, hey-hey-hey, hey-hey-hey

Hey-hey-hey, hey-hey-hey (oh-oh-oh), hey-hey-hey

I should move 'cause New York is gettin' muddy out

There's L.A. but it's always kinda sunny out"

I know this feeling all too well. Every time that my depression is really bad I want to get out and go somewhere that will make it not so bad. When New York is muddy out, I just want to go somewhere that doesn't have a depressing environment. If I went to L.A. everyone would be too happy enjoying the sun. I would want so badly to be happy like them, but it wouldn't be possible so I just stay where I am.

"And I don't wanna hurt no more

So I set my bar real low"

I don't want to hurt anymore, so I just set my bar lower. I don't let myself think that the guy I like may like me back, because I do not want to be hurt when I find out he never thought of me in that way and never will. That is normally what always happens, so I don't let myself expect what I want. When I apply for a job that I want, I don't let myself think that I will get it because I don't want to be hurt if it doesn't work out. Setting my bar so low actually helps my depression, because when something doesn't work out the way I would like it to, it doesn't cause more hurt or pain. Adding more disappointment on my depression would not be manageable. By doing this, I am looking out for myself and making sure I can handle everything that could happen.

"I'm a-okay, I'm a-okay (ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah)

You say it but you just don't mean it"

When people say, are you okay? They really do not want to hear all the reasons why you are not okay and what depression does to your life. You just say, "I'm a-okay, I'm a-okay", but you really don't mean it. When you have depression, you are never okay.

"You're so insane, you're so insane (ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah)

Shut up and just enjoy this feelin'

Don't you love it, don't you love it?

No, I ain't happy yet

But I'm way less sad

Don't you love it, don't you love it?

No, I ain't happy yet

But I'm way less sad

Hеy-hey-hey, hey-hеy-hey, hey-hey-hey

But I'm way less sad

Hey-hey-hey, hey-hey-hey (oh-oh-oh), hey-hey-hey

But I'm way less sad"

People will think we are crazy when it seems like we should be happy. Everything is working out in our lives. AJR is famous. I live in NYC and am a published author. I should be happy, but I am not. No matter how hard I try and want to just be happy. I am not and don't think happiness is possible for me. But hey! When I am way less sad, I am having a good day. When I can go out and enjoy the day, I am doing okay! This is what I strive for each and every day. Being way less sad is my form of happiness.

"I wake up and I'm not so mad at Twitter now

Livin' sucks but it's suckin' just a little now

And I don't wanna cry no more

So I set my bar real low"

See! Setting my bar real low makes it easier to wake up and I am no longer as mad at my social media accounts and everyone that shows how happy they are. I just want to be happy like them, but it does not happen for me and most likely never will. When I set my bar real low, I can get through the day and it doesn't suck so much anymore.

"I'm a-okay, I'm a-okay (ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah)

You say it but you just don't mean it

You're so insane, you're so insane (ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah)

Shut up and just enjoy this feelin'

Don't you love it, don't you love it?

No, I ain't happy yet

But I'm way less sad

Don't you love it, don't you love it?

No, I ain't happy yet (happy yet)

But I'm way less sad

I may wrong, I may be wrong

It's stupid but it's all I have"

I love is embracing when I am wrong or accidentally do something stupid. Instead of wishing I could go back and change it, I embrace my mistakes. It makes me feel a lot better about myself.

"Don't you love it, don't you love it?

No, I ain't happy yet

But I'm way less sad"

"Well, I can't fall asleep and I'm losin' my mind

'Cause it's half-past three and my brain's on fire

"I've been countin' sheep but the sheep all died

And I'm tryin' too hard but I can't not try

Well, I can't fall asleep and I'm losin' my mind

'Cause it's half-past three and my brain's on fire (brain's on fire)

I've been countin' sheep but the sheep all died

And I'm not dead yet, so I guess I'll be alright"

I do this all the time and it is the worst! I lay in bed trying to calm my brain enough to go to sleep, but I can't. I am trying way to hard to just fall asleep, but my brain won't stop feeling like it is on fire. I just want it to calm down enough to fall asleep, so I start counting sheep. That doesn't work and like AJR says, "the sheep all died". I am not dead yet, so I guess I am alright even though I do not feel like it.

"Don't you love it, don't you love it?

No, I ain't happy yet (happy yet)

But I'm way less sad

Don't you love it, don't you love it?

No, I ain't happy yet

But I'm way less sad

I may be wrong (I may be wrong)

I may be wrong (I may be wrong)

It's stupid but it's all I have"

A lot of people would say that it is stupid not too be happy. For me, I am happy to just be way less sad. It means more to me than most people would ever understand.

"Don't you love it, don't you love it?

No, I ain't happy yet

But I'm way less sad

Da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Paul Simon / Ryan Metzger / Jack Metzger / Adam Metzger

Way Less Sad lyrics © Amab Songs

Now, this is exactly how I see depression. It sucks and I wish it would change, but at least I am way less sad. I am still alive, even though some days it feels like being dead would feel better. I keep on going when I do not feel like it. The moments that are way less sad are what drive me forward.