Things Others Don’t Realize You Are Doing Because of Your Anxiety

If there's anything I've learned in my 15 years of dealing with anxiety and PTSD, it's that being anxious makes you act a bit crazy. In fact, it's safe to say that anxiety is one of the most common reasons why I get called "quirky."

The thing that really irks me about having anxiety is the sheer number of things others don't realize you are doing because of your anxiety. When you act out due to anxiety, it's really hard for people to know how to react—and in many situations, even empathize with you.

Speaking as someone who has both anxiety and a highly-anxious form of PTSD, here are some of the actions people never seem to realize are linked to anxiety.

Obsessing Over Relationships

Ever notice how people tend to obsess over relationships, particularly when they don't know where they stand with people? This is one of the most common things others don't realize you are doing because of your anxiety.

More specifically, the kind of obsessing I'm talking about is the constant over-analyzing and over-thinking that comes with really wanting to know where you stand. As someone with anxiety, I tend to assume the worst and need to have every little detail fully explained to you.

With anxiety, you don't think that there may be "off days," or just days when people forget to call you up. You often tend to assume the worst (that people hate you) and will micro-analyze every little interaction in your head on end.

Getting Loud (Or Quiet)

A large part of my anxiety comes from me being an outcast for most of my life, and to a point, I think that's true of many anxiety sufferers. There are really two types of anxious people when it comes to social interaction.

The most common type are the ones who are totally quiet, often out of fear that people will pay attention to them and they will end up saying the wrong thing. They're mostly anxious about being made fun of or shamed.

The type I am is the loud type—and when we're anxious, we get loud and attention-seeking. In fact, we might even get a bit desperate to be included and can easily end up overdoing it. The reason why? We're terrified of being left out, or even worse, forgotten.

Hoarding

If you are like a lot of people who have lived through homelessness (myself included), the anxiety from experiencing that never fully goes away. Even when you know you have a place, it doesn't get any better.

You are all too well aware of how just one tragedy or one misstep can put you out on the streets. The weird thing about this kind of anxiety is that it makes you want to hoard everything in sight.

Food? Welp, you're going to buy a lot of it just in case you could possibly go hungry. You might even eat things that are old, just to say you didn't waste it. Clothing? Can't waste that, either. You might be able to sell it.

Part of it is refusing to let go of the past, yes, but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't struggle with hoarding certain things.

Withdrawing from People

This is a classic symptom of anxiety that everyone seems to either overlook, or not notice at all. If I get overloaded with too much anxiety, I end up being unable to socialize or may even hide in a room alone until I'm able to recover.

Sometimes, you end up withdrawing just to see if anyone will notice. Other times, it's just because you need to be away from people while you collect yourself. It's hard to explain unless you have anxiety.

Compulsively Check Your Weight, Bank Account, or Any Other Number

Anxiety and numbers go hand in hand. It makes sense, since anxiety sufferers often feel like they have no control over their lives. We become obsessed with wanting to control something, so we often try to control the numbers that we are surrounded by to try to calm ourselves down.

We work to get the number we see on the scale down, the bank account number up, or heck, even the number of things we do up. Numbers, numbers, numbers. You always end up needing to see the numbers.

It's motivating, sure, but it's also a very unusual kind of hell. Don't believe it? Wait until you wake up at 3 AM to check your scale, and tell me again how it's "not that bad."

Food Quirks

It's kind of insane how much anxiety can change your eating habits. If you have anxiety, you probably already know what I'm talking about. Observant people can usually tell when someone's anxious, just by seeing what they've eaten that day.

Anxious people will typically compulsively eat, or will lose any appetite they have. Some will start craving comfort foods the moment an anxiety attack happens. Most people will never notice this until they actually live with an anxious person.

Asking for Reassurance

Anxiety makes your entire existence feel shaky regardless of how well you're doing. Having been gaslit most of my life and having a lot of anxiety around people means that I need others to reassure me, even if evidence that everything is fine is all around me.

Surprisingly, no one ever seems to pick up that this is due to anxiety. They often think it's insecurity, which technically it's not. I don't feel insecure about my own capabilities, per se. Rather, it's more that I feel anxious that the branch I've constructed will fall out from under me by others' doing.

If you're hearing people say things like, "I'm going to be alright, right?" it's anxiety.

Drinking

Drinking (and using other drugs) is often one of the fastest ways to take the anxiety off your shoulders. Literally, it works within minutes and quickly helps you mellow out. That's why a lot of people who are scared or upset turn to drinking at first.

It's not healthy, but it's a habit that's common among anxiety sufferers. Is it really that surprising that people who have high rates of anxiety tend to turn to medications (legal drugs) or street drugs to make themselves feel better?

Projecting

Ugh, my mother, who also suffers from anxiety (and a slew of other problems) taught me that projection is definitely one of the things people tend to do when they're anxious. The funny thing is that anxious people don't always realize they're doing this out of anxiety, either.

With her, she tends to (repeatedly) remind me to pay my bills or starts calling me to come home. Over the years, I've learned to ask her what's really wrong—and she eventually tells me what's actually bothering her. She tends to stop after that.

Laughing at Inappropriate Moments

I'm the queen of this, but only when I'm in a high-anxiety social situation or feeling extremely stressed. You'll hear me let loose a loud, hyena-like shriek-laugh that'd make both the Joker and Harley Quinn give me a thumbs up.

Most people don't realize, when it happens, that I'm not trying to make light of the issue. I'm actually having a mild anxiety attack and would otherwise be a sobbing mess.

If this surprises you, you're not alone. Many of the weird things people do due to anxiety really don't seem anxious at first glance. So, rather than yell at them, show a little empathy when you see someone act a little quirky, okay?