The Wonderful World of Me

Hello to the ones choosing to read this, I know that you don’t know me or even care about what I have to say but I want to say thank you in advance for taking the time to find out a little more about me and my struggles with mental health and I hope that this helps at least one person. I want to start with my childhood and how the way I was raised affected my views and approach to mental health because I believe that the way a child is brought up will affect the way they see things. When I was growing up I had a few issues that ran the gambit from actual medical issues to more learning issues and some stuff in between. As far as the learning issues went I had a hard time concentrating in class and I would spend a lot of the time just thinking about other things and going from one thing to another, I got a lot “she daydreams a lot” and “has a hard time staying on task”. I couldn’t help it, I would try to focus on work but I would start to think about something and then I was distracted and before I realized what was going on we were on to something else.

As I got older I realized that I had to take my time if I wanted to learn something and I would have to let the teacher know that I needed a little more time to fully understand a subject, so at the beginning of the school year I would have this talk with my teacher to let them know. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I realized that I had an untreated and undiagnosed case of ADD and ADHD, I thought back to all the times that I got in trouble for not paying attention. There was a legitimate reason for my behavior that I could have gotten help with but because of how mental health is treated in the black community I was just reprimanded instead. I remember how it felt to be told I had an attention problem and being forced to endure constant discipline for something that I had no control over; I don’t blame the adults around me for their actions I just wish things had been different. I think about all the little kids out there right now who are going through a similar situation and the adults who just don’t want to believe there is something wrong with their child when there is.

Another mental issue I didn’t realize was an issue until I became an adult was my social anxiety which I still have even now, I hated talking to strangers and I hated being the center of attention, it was something that made me super nervous and anxious. I was constantly being told that I needed to come out of my shell more and I that just needed to get over my fear of people; I can remember being at a family member's house all the kids playing the quiet game, I won every time. I can also remember being put in a church program that I was told would help me to not be so shy and learn to interact with other people, I hated going every week, but I also hated confrontation. Growing up I was the quiet kid who sat in the back just waited for class to be over so that I could leave, I didn’t want to do group projects or work in teams I just wanted to do my work and go home. I eventually did get a good group of friends that I got very close to in middle school and that helped a lot so that I wasn’t that weird kid who sits alone too scared to go up to anyone, even though I still am that kid sometimes.

I can honestly say that growing up the way that I did help me to become the person that I am now and if things had been different I would be a different person; I am happy with the way that I am I just want to change a few things here and there. I know out there right now is a child who has a hard time concentrating and their parents might just think that they are not trying very hard and that might be because they don’t know the signs of ADD or ADHD or just don’t want to believe their kid has it. Just the same I know there is a child out there who gets nervous in large crowds of people or with strangers they just met and their parents just assume they are shy and need to come out of their shell more; these kids have a mini anxiety attack every time they are with new people. I just want to say that there are resources out there for these people and their children that can not only help them but maybe even bring them closer together as a family. I once again want to thank the people who chose to stop and take the time to read what I had to say because you don’t know me or care about what I have to say so thank you and I hope you come back again.